“Oh, Mia, they really don’t think that. They just want you to be happy.”
“But it was August when he died, and it’s only October now. I haven’t stopped missing him yet.” Mia sniffed. “I can’t imagine not missing him! And now I can’t even say anything about it to Emily, because she’s so excited about her kittens. I tried to explain, but she didn’t understand.”
“It’s such a special time for her,” Gran said, stroking Mia’s hair. “She can’t help being happy about it, can she?”
“I suppose not. I just wish I could be happy with her, that’s all.”
“Are you sure you want to be happy?” Gran said thoughtfully, and Mia sat up and stared at her.
“Of course I am! I don’twant to be miserable!”
“But I think you’re hanging on to being sad, Mia. At least if you’re miserable, someone’s still missing Sandy. It’s as if he’s still here. Do you see what I mean?”
Mia shook her head.“It isn’t like that…” But her voice trailed off. Maybe it was, a little bit.
“Look.” Gran got up, and fetched a little photo album from a shelf. “I’ve been making this for you, Mia, but I wasn’t going to give it to you yet, in case it just made you more upset.”
“Oh, Gran! All these photos of Sandy…” Mia turned the pages, laughing as Sandy turned from a little gingery fluffball into the big, handsome cat she remembered. “He was so special,” she said sadly.
[Êàðòèíêà: i_011.jpg]
“Do you know what I noticed most of all about these photos?” Gran asked, smiling at a photo of Sandy last Christmas, lying in a pile of wrapping paper, a ribbon wrapped around his paws. “He was always such a happy cat.”
Mia smiled. It was true.
“Except those last couple of weeks, when he was ill. He was so tired, he wasn’t really himself any more. He’d purr if we stroked him, especially for you. But most of the time, he just slept.”
Mia nodded.“He didn’t even want to eat.”
“Exactly. And this was Sandy, he loved his food!”
Mia giggled. Mum was always getting cross with Sandy– if she left anything lying around in the kitchen while she was cooking, she only had to turn her back for a second, and a sneaky ginger paw would have swiped it. He even ate mushrooms, which was very unusual for a cat.
“He wasn’t happy, was he?” she murmured.
Gran shook her head.“No. And he loved you so much, Mia. He hated it when you were miserable about something, didn’t he?”
“Like that time I fell over.” Mia closed her eyes, remembering. She’d fallen down the stairs and banged her arm – not actually broken it, but it had still really hurt. She’d been moping around the house with it all bandaged up, until Sandy had come and sat on her while she was lying on the sofa. He sat on her chest and stared at her, dangling his big white whiskers in her face and purring like a lawnmower. It was as though he was determined that she had to cheer up. And of course it worked!
“You’re right.” She turned to the last picture in the album. It was her and Emily, both holding Sandy – he was big enough for two girls to hold. They were both grinning at the camera, and Sandy looked so pleased with himself.
“Emily’s your best friend, Mia. You have to make an effort for friends, even if it’s hard sometimes.”
Mia nodded.“I know. I’ll call Emily and say I’m sorry, and I’ll go and see the kittens soon. Maybe on Monday. And I’ll try to stop missing Sandy so much, Gran. I really will.”
Chapter Four [Êàðòèíêà: i_012.jpg]
Gran must have told Mum about the talk she’d had with Mia, because on Monday morning Mum said she’d walk Mia to school, and they’d stop and call for Emily on the way.
“Maybe you can just nip in and see the kittens,” Mum suggested. “Not for long though, because you and Emily can’t be late for school. OK?”
Mia nodded, and gave her mum a quick hug. She could see what Mum was doing. She was giving Mia a chance to see the kittens for just a couple of minutes. If it made her too sad, they could say they had to get to school.
Emily and her mum were waiting for them at the door. Mum had probably texted Emily’s mum, Mia decided, feeling a sudden rush of love for Mum and Gran, worrying about her and trying to make everything OK again. The fussing had got on her nerves before, but they were only being nice.
“Come and see, come and see!” Emily grabbed her. “We came down this morning and they’d opened their eyes. They’re so cute!” She stopped pulling Mia along and looked at her worriedly. “You still want to see them, don’t you?”
Mia nodded.“Of course. And I’m sorry I’ve been such a grump.”
“Oh, you weren’t!” Emily hugged her.
Mia was still anxious as she followed Emily into the warm kitchen. Silky and the kittens had a little sort of pen that Emily’s mum had made out of bits of old bookcase. It was close to the radiator to make sure the kittens stayed warm.
“Just look at them,” Emily said proudly. “Aren’t they the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen?”
Mia glanced at the pen, and Silky yawned hugely and stared back at her. She looked as though she agreed with Emily entirely, and she expected Mia to agree too. There was a definite look of smug pride on her pretty white face as she gazed down at her new family.
The kittens were wriggling about next to their mum. Just as Mia leaned closer, the black kitten, who seemed to be the biggest, although it was hard to tell, climbed right on top of the tiny white one, who gave an indignant squeak.
“Oh no! Is he OK?” Mia asked anxiously, but Emily only giggled.
[Êàðòèíêà: i_013.jpg]
“I’m sure he is. They do that all the time! I wondered if it would get better when they opened their eyes, but they still just walk all over each other. And they’re so greedy and pushy about getting to Silky for their milk.”
“He’s the boy, isn’t he? The little white one?” Emily had told Mia that they’d worked out there were three girls and one boy.
Emily nodded.“He’s cute, isn’t he?”
“They all are.” Mia crouched down by the pen, glancing at Silky first to check she wasn’t bothered. But the white cat looked as though she was enjoying showing off her babies. The two tabby kittens were suckling, and the black one was trying to reach Silky’s side too. But the little white kitten stayed curled up near his mum’s front paws. He yawned, and then gazed up at Mia with dark, dark blue eyes.
Mia knew that he was so small he probably couldn’t see her very well, but somehow he seemed to be looking straight at her, and he wrinkled his nose and mewed a tiny little mew.
[Êàðòèíêà: i_014.jpg]
Mia smiled, and reached out her fingers for the kitten to sniff. How could she have thought anything so lovely would make her sad?
[Êàðòèíêà: i_004.jpg]
Somehow after that, Mia found that the thought of the kittens didn’t upset her any more. Maybe it was because none of them was ginger, like her Sandy. They were themselves instead, and although she still missed Sandy, the kittens were so cute they mostly just made her laugh. Especially the white kitten, who seemed so loving. He always nuzzled at her and licked her fingers.
One Friday afternoon, a couple of weeks after they were born, Mia went to tea at Emily’s house. She was really looking forward to it. She’d popped in to see the kittens quite a few times since her first visit, but only quickly. Somehow there hadn’t been a chance to spend proper time with the kittens.
Mia followed Emily into the kitchen. It was two or three days since she’d seen the kittens, and she gasped as she got closer to their pen.
“They’re so much bigger!”
Emily laughed.“I know! It’s amazing, isn’t it?”
Mia shook her head.“It’s like someone’s blown them up, like little furry balloons…” She crouched down to look more closely at the four kittens in their pen. One of the tabbies was stomping determinedly across the soft blankets on the floor, while the other three were feeding. “They look more cat-shaped, somehow. Do you know what I mean? They were just tiny fluffy balls before, but now they’re mini-cats. Oh, look…”