“No, thanks,” Leafstar meowed. “I’m not hungry.”
She noticed a flicker of surprise in Petalnose’s eyes. “Is everything okay?” the gray she-cat asked.
Leafstar was in no mood for her Clanmate’s concern. “Everything’s fine,” she snapped. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
Stalking toward the trail that led up to her den, Leafstar was relieved that there was no sign of Billystorm in camp. I hope he’s gone back to his housefolk with Snookpaw.
But as she began to climb the trail, she heard the ginger-and-white tom’s voice. “If you twist like this as you leap, Snookpaw, you’ll throw your enemy off balance.”
Looking down, Leafstar spotted Billystorm a few fox-lengths farther up the gorge, demonstrating a battle move to Snookpaw and Tinycloud.
“That’s a great move,” the white she-cat meowed. “Can I give it a try?”
Leafstar didn’t stop to watch any more. Instead, she leaped up the last few paw steps to her den and bounded inside, letting out a breath of relief to be on her own at last. Her mind whirled with unwelcome thoughts. Part of her was angry with Echosong, but mostly she was afraid that the medicine cat was right. Would it really be wrong of me to become Billystorm’s mate?
Gazing out at the darkening sky, where the first warriors of StarClan glimmered over the trees, Leafstar remembered Firestar explaining how her ancestors had marked her out as the leader of the new Clan.
“You told me plenty about StarClan,” she growled softly. “But you never told me this.” Fury tore through her like a stab of lightning, and she scraped her claws across the floor of her den; if Firestar had been there, she might have raked them across his flame-colored pelt. “Why didn’t you tell me that I’d have to put the Clan first, before having a mate or kits? You have Sandstorm. Is it so different for she-cats? Why did you make me leader?”
But even as she spoke, she knew she was being unfair. It was StarClan who had chosen her to be leader, after they sent the sign of dappled leaf shadows to Echosong. They trusted me to be the best leader, she thought, sighing as her rage ebbed away. I can’t let them down.
Curling up in her mossy nest, Leafstar fell into an uneasy sleep. Mist surged around her, and she found herself stumbling over rocks, with looming cliffs of black stone on either side. She struggled against panic, knowing that this was a dream, but unable to shake off the feeling that she was trapped in an unfamiliar place.
“Is any cat there?” she called out.
There was no reply, nothing but the echoing sound of water dripping from the rocks.
“Leafstar! Are you okay?”
The voice cut through Leafstar’s dream. She struggled back to wakefulness to see Billystorm at the entrance to her den, outlined against the twilit sky.
I must have only slept for a few heartbeats, but it felt like seasons.
“I’m fine,” Leafstar replied, rising groggily to her paws and padding over to him.
“I wanted to ask you if you’d like to come with me to the Twolegplace tonight,” Billystorm went on. “We could look out for Sharpclaw and Stick leading one of their patrols.” When Leafstar didn’t reply right away, he added, “Besides, it would be nice to spend some time away from the Clan for a while.”
Oh, yes, it would… Leafstar yearned to agree, to run beside Billystorm along the mysterious paths of the Twolegplace. And it would be useful to discover whether Sharpclaw really was up to something.
But I can’t. I’m Clan leader. I can’t.
“No,” Leafstar replied, sounding harsher than she had intended. “I can’t go chasing around the Twolegplace. My Clanmates need me here.”
Even in the dim light, she could see the hurt in Billystorm’s eyes. “I’m your Clanmate, too,” he pointed out.
“But you have housefolk.” Every word felt like a thorn in her throat. “I’m sorry, Billystorm. Go home.”
Confusion tightened Billystorm’s expression. “But Leafstar—” he began, then broke off. “What about Sharpclaw and Stick?” he asked.
“Why are you so eager to accuse them?” Leafstar challenged. “You’re not showing much loyalty to your Clan deputy, are you? No other cats have mentioned Sharpclaw and Stick leaving the gorge at night. And I don’t believe that Sharpclaw would order a patrol without discussing it with me first.”
As she finished speaking, Billystorm backed away, his eyes cold. “I thought I meant something to you, more than just another Clanmate,” he meowed. “But you won’t let yourself get close to me, because you think I’m just a kittypet, don’t you?”
The accusation took Leafstar’s breath away, and she had no words to respond.
“You’re no better than Sharpclaw and Sparrowpelt,” Billystorm went on, the fur along his spine fluffing up with indignation. “They look down their noses at us because we stay loyal to our housefolk as well as to our Clan. I thought you were different, Leafstar, but I was wrong.”
Leafstar stared at him in dismay. That wasn’t what she thought at all! But if Billystorm is so quick to think badly of me, then maybe I’m better off without him.
Abruptly she turned away. “You don’t know everything, Billystorm,” she mewed.
For a heartbeat there was silence; then she heard Billystorm padding away, the sound of his paw steps fading as he climbed the trail. Part of her wanted to run after him and call him back; instead, she plodded across her den to her nest and settled herself back among the moss.
She had barely closed her eyes when she found the mist swirling around her once again, scudding across glistening black cliffs that trapped her on either side. But this time she could hear the sound of many cats in the gorge ahead of her. Padding forward, she rounded a spur of rock and found herself on the edge of a crowd.
Her heart beating faster, Leafstar tensed her muscles and slid out her claws in case the strange cats attacked her, but none of them even looked at her or seemed to scent her.
In the middle of the throng, a gray tom with white patches on his fur stood on top of a rock. Leafstar’s paws tingled as she recognized Cloudstar, who had been the leader of SkyClan when they were driven out of the forest and came to live in the gorge. But this was not the warrior of StarClan with starlight in his fur; this was a scrawny, exhausted cat who gazed at his Clanmates with desperation in his eyes.
“We’ll never find a home here,” a cat called to him. “We should have stayed in the forest and made the other Clans give us some of their territory.”
“You know they would never have done that,” Cloudstar retorted. “They wanted us gone. They don’t care if we starve out here.”
“We have to do something,” a gray she-cat rasped; she was sitting close to Leafstar, who could see that her belly was swollen even though every one of her ribs was visible through her pelt. “My kits will be born any day now. They need a nursery. And I need fresh-kill, or I’ll have no milk to give them.” Her voice rose to a wail. “My kits will die!”
“Don’t be afraid.” A light brown tabby she-cat leaped up onto the rock beside Cloudstar; it was Fawnstep, the Clan’s medicine cat. “Our warrior ancestors are watching over us, even here.”
Her voice faded as she spoke, and Leafstar opened her eyes, blinking as the pale light of a new day crept into her den. She had glimpsed the cats of that long-ago SkyClan as they struggled to find themselves a new home after they had been forced to leave the forest.
“They came here,” she whispered. “But in the end, they were driven away.”
She remembered the pale brown tom she had seen in her dream, and the words he had spoken as he left the gorge forever. “This is the leaf-bare of my Clan. Greenleaf will come, but it will bring even greater storms than these. SkyClan will need deeper roots if it is to survive.”