“The thanks are all mine.” He brushed a soft kiss over her lips. “Dress now.”
They dressed in silence, Liz’s mind spinning with thoughts she could hardly grab onto. She was positive Alex would bring up dinner again. He wasn’t a man to let things go by the wayside. Should she tell him now? Stop seeing him? Pretend nothing existed except the two of them at Rawhide.
Fully dressed, she gathered her purse and took a deep breath. Maybe he wouldn’t bring it up again.
But then his hands were on her shoulders, one moving to cup her chin and force her to lift her eyes and look at him.
“Stay and have a drink with me, Liz. One drink. Please.” His eyes, now a hot, bright blue, lasered her with a hungry look.
She wrenched her gaze from his. “I…no. Thank you, but no.”
“Liz.” His hand still held her jaw, and he brushed his lips against hers, a light caress.
“What do you want from me?” she cried.
“I think you know what I want,” he said in his soft drawl. “We have the magic here at Rawhide. I believe it can work for us beyond the club. I think you do, too, whether you admit it or not. Why won’t you give it a chance? Tell me what the problem is?”
For a moment she was tempted to let it all out. Tell him her devastating story.
No. He’ll realize how pathetic you are, and then you’ll have nothing with him at all.
“I can’t. I just can’t.”
She ran for the door, pulled it open and raced down the hall. In the lounge, she ran smack into Reece.
“Liz? What’s the matter?” His eyes narrowed. “Did something go wrong in the playroom?”
She shook her head. “No. No, no, no. Please let me go. Please.”
She jerked away from him and ran for the front door, not stopping until she was in her truck and pulling out of the parking lot. Her heart was racing so fast she was sure it would beat out of her chest.
Well, she’d probably done it now. Ruined everything. Maybe it was no more than she deserved. Why had she ever thought when she started this that she could just dip her toes in the water again and walk away barely damp? Especially with Alex Wright.
Falling into subspace was her favorite release from the iron control she had to maintain everywhere else in her life. And she’d craved it all the time she denied herself. What she hadn’t counted on was meeting Alex Wright and losing her heart to him.
Now she was in big, big trouble and turning her life into one big pretzel.
Chapter Nine
Alex wondered if he would hear from Liz again. Contrary to everything he practiced he’d put himself out there where she was concerned. Now he felt a reversal of their roles, a switch where she held all the cards.
He wouldn’t call her. Couldn’t call her. This had to be her decision. But shit, the waiting seemed endless. Thank god there was plenty of work to do at the ranch.
The Running W spread wasn’t as large as either his brother-in-law’s or the Hallidays’, but it was still considered large with a good-sized head of cattle. And that meant there was always something to keep him occupied.
For one thing, it was time to cull the calves from their mamas and move them to a separate pasture. The unrelenting sun and lack of a breeze made it hot, sweaty, tiring work, but it was just the kind he needed. He was up every morning with the hands, working until nearly dark to accomplish the task. Then he showered, swallowed a sandwich and poured himself a drink.
And that in itself showed the state he was in. He seldom drank by himself. He had the occasional bottle of beer with his foreman and maybe some of the hands, or a drink when he was out socially. But liquor had never been his thing. He’d always been afraid it would erode his self-control in some way. But right now that control was badly frayed.
Where was Alex Wright, the man always in charge?
The first time he met Liz, he thought what a great playmate she’d make. If she was into his lifestyle. But that was all.
Yet somehow she’d pierced the armor he was so proud of, the thing he’d thought was so much a part of his personality. Now he could barely eat or sleep or work without images of her creeping into his thoughts. He wanted her. Needed her. And he might as well admit that he wanted it forever.
But the next step would have to be hers if this was going to work between them. The waiting, however, was driving him nuts. He didn’t want to enlist the Hallidays again, but pretty soon he’d be reduced to resorting to anything.
Alex stared at the calendar on the wall. One more day. He’d give her another day to reach out to him. Then he’d have to do something or lose his mind.
For three days, Liz dragged herself through her chores, trying to blank her mind, shut out the conflicting feelings bombarding her. But every time she closed her eyes all she saw was Alex’s face. And when she crawled into bed at night, the memory of his hands on her, the arousal he created with the flogger and the paddle, the feel of his thick cock inside her while he tugged on the nipple clamp chain left her restless and edgy.
Why couldn’t it be just about the sex? Why did messy emotions have to creep into things? Liz wasn’t sure which bothered her more. That Alex wanted to pursue a relationship or that she had fallen so hard for him.
She was more than grateful when, on Saturday, Trish’s mother brought her for her session. She didn’t think she’d be able to face Alex right now. Or maybe ever. Only how did she prevent him from showing up at the Lucky L when Trish Stanton was there working her horse? Or avoid him in Boerne, where you could drive the length of Main Street in five minutes? Or at any events they were both liable to attend?
Late Saturday, she called Rawhide and left a message that she wouldn’t be there that night and to please let Alex Wright know he shouldn’t expect her. She’d thought about just not showing up but realized she at least needed to make the call.
Sundays were always busy at the Lucky L. They were booked with people who couldn’t come for training during the week and with visitors looking over the facilities.
“You need a vacation, Liz,” Scotty told her in a low voice when he ran into her in the main barn. “I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but you look as if you’ve been rode hard and put away wet.”
She sighed. “I’m fine, Scotty. Really. Just not sleeping too well.”
He studied her for a long moment. “I know it’s not my place to say this, but you run a hell of a great place here. You should cut yourself some slack. Get a life for yourself. It’s not against the law.”
“I’m okay,” she protested. “And I do have a social life.”
“I don’t mean lunches with Katie Halliday. You’re a fine looking woman, Liz Gillibrand. If I was twenty years younger I might take a run at you myself.”
Liz stared at him. “Excuse me?”
Scotty laughed. “Just a comment. Don’t take offense. But you’ve got a lot to give some lucky bastard. I just hope one comes along soon.”
It was hard not to be flattered by Scotty’s remarks, but it still didn’t address her problem. She craved Alex Wright, and she was afraid to give in to the craving. Was she being a coward? Was it time to take a chance again? Her head ached with all the questions bouncing around inside it.
She deliberately stayed away from Rawhide all week, avoiding Alex’s calls by the simple expedient of letting the answering machine pick up at the house and the calls on her cell go to voice mail. She was hiding and she knew it, but she couldn’t seem to find a solution to her problem.
When Katie called on Wednesday to invite her to dinner on Saturday, her friend refused to take no for an answer.
“You’ve been avoiding everyone for a week,” Katie pointed out. “Reece has a cattleman’s association meeting. We can stuff ourselves with forbidden food and indulge in some girl talk.”
“Oh, Katie, I don’t know if—”
“No excuses. Seven o’clock or I’ll come to your house and make a stink. Your employees would just love that, wouldn’t they?”