“Sorry.” She let out a breath. “I guess I’m a little quick on the trigger.”
The smile softened, and his gaze locked onto hers. “I imagine you get a lot of people who resent what happened.”
“You have no idea.” Especially the people who work here, she wanted to say. “All I can do is my best.”
When she walked Alex back to the truck he reached into the cab and pulled out an envelope.
“Jester’s feed information, although Dean said he’d already discussed it with you.”
She nodded. “We’re all set up for the horse. The trainer will start working with her tomorrow and in about two weeks we should be ready for Trish.”
“I told her I’d be coming out to watch her now and then. I hope that’s all right.”
Coming here? This walking sex machine? She’d need plenty of ice water just to be within ten feet of him. Or maybe it was just that she’d been without sex for so long—by design—that her hormones were running wild. Either way, she’d need to watch herself around Mr. Sex-on-the-Hoof.
“Of course. We encourage family support, as a matter of fact.” She waited for him to climb back into the truck, but he just stood there, that hot gaze raking over her. “Was there something else?”
“Sure is. I was wondering if I could talk you into having dinner with me.”
Dinner? With a man? With this man? Liz wasn’t sure she’d even know how to act anymore. For one thing, when she’d taken over here, she’d put her sex life on hold. She couldn’t afford to have the men here actually see her as a woman. For another, she didn’t exactly have the best track record.
“Liz?” Alex’s voice broke into internal conversation. “I didn’t think it was such a difficult question.” He chuckled, a sound that hit every one of her nerve endings. “Or that I was so offensive I left you speechless.”
She shook herself mentally. “Sorry. Actually, sorry twice. Once for letting my mind drift and again for saying no. But thanks anyway.”
He reached out a hand and brushed a few stray hairs off her cheek. “You do have to eat, don’t you?”
Oh, god, his touch. She was going to embarrass herself by melting into him. She, Liz Gillibrand, the woman they all called Iron Pants. The woman who held a secret close inside her. No, no, no. She needed to get Alex Wright on his way in a hurry.
“I…uh…usually just grab a quick bite whenever I’m finished out here.” She took two steps backward. “Listen, thanks so much for delivering Jester. I’ll see you when you come to watch Trish.”
“I’m not giving up on my invitation,” Alex called as he climbed into the truck. “Someplace real nice. You can wear a dress.”
A dress. Just what she needed. No one within fifty miles of here was ever going to see her soft side again. Nope. Not gonna happen.
She watched him make a wide, careful turn in the broad gravel parking area and head down the long driveway to the two-lane highway. Dinner with Alex Wright was such a temptation. The problem wasn’t with dating. Dating led to sex, and Liz was sure her brand of sex wouldn’t go over here at all. She could just see Alex “Yummy” Wright head for the hills if she asked him to cuff her to the bed or bend her over the footboard and crop her.
No, she had to go far afield for her sexual pleasures. The last thing she needed was for word to get out to the men who worked for her that she was a true sexual submissive. She’d never get control of them again. Not to mention the fact that the Lucky L would probably lose most of its clients. Conservative people frowned on anything the least bit kinky. She’d found that out a long time ago, before she’d come to work for John. And she still remembered the hurt.
And then there was that one part of her past that had taught her a lesson. A bad one. The inner scars had never really healed, and she was sure her heart was permanently damaged. Too many opportunities for disaster if she gave in to her needs. But holy hell, she sure did miss it.
Sighing, she walked back into the barn to Jester’s stall, leaning her forearms on the door.
“Well, girl, I hope I don’t embarrass either of us when that sex god shows up to see you go through your paces.”
Yes, she’d really have to watch herself there. Alex Wright was the biggest temptation to cross her path in a long, long time.
Chapter Two
“I’m telling you, I’m about ready to hang myself.”
Liz was having lunch in San Antonio on the Riverwalk with Katie Halliday, her friend Reece Halliday’s wife. Reece had been one of the first ranchers to welcome her into the community when she first came to the Lucky L. She knew her acceptance as the new owner of the facility was due in large part to his efforts. Especially after two of the longtime employees had actually tried to break the will. They were gone, she was still there. And over the past year, she and Katie had become close.
Liz loved the ambience of the Riverwalk, a complete change from her daily work surroundings. Restaurants and shops lined the stone pathways on either side of the very narrow San Antonio River. Throngs of people, both locals and tourists, strolled along, and the signature river barges floated up and down filled with sightseers. It was a casual, colorful, relaxed environment.
Katie laughed. “Come on. It can’t be that bad.”
Liz took a swallow of her frozen margarita and made a face. “Worse. Lordy, Katie, you just don’t know what it’s like always having to act like „one of the boys’ only more so. They’re all just waiting for me to make one misstep.”
“Oh, honey, I know it’s tough, but Reece says you’re doing one damn fine job.”
“Would you think I was terrible if I said just between us chickens here that it’s been far too long since I had something between my legs besides a horse?”
Katie leaned across the table. “I know it’s not funny. I’d hate it if I was in your position. But surely there are guys you’ve met outside the ranch. I mean, you go to a lot of the same events we do, and I see lots of single men there from all over the Hill Country and South Texas.”
Liz picked a tortilla chip out of the basket, dipped it in the queso, and chewed while she tried to figure out how to answer her friend. Could she spill the details to Katie about her sexual needs? Would the woman look at her with distaste? With disgust? Curiosity?
Damn it, she had to have someone to talk to. No matter how friendly she and Reece were, this wasn’t exactly something you discussed with a man. She’d made friends with some of the women in town, especially those who brought their horses to the Lucky L for training. But not anyone she could really open up to.
She washed the chip down with a sip of her drink. Well, if she trusted anyone, she trusted the Hallidays. What was the worst that could happen? Katie would tell her to either change her sexual preferences or take a long vacation and find a hot hunk to tangle the sheets with.
“My problem,” she began slowly, “isn’t just that I don’t want to go trolling in the waters where I work. It’s partly…my sexual preferences.”
Katie’s eyes widened fractionally. “Surely you’re not telling me that women are your thing.”
Liz giggled. “Oh, my lord. No. That’s not it at all.”
“Well, then, what? Come on, girl. How bad can it be?”
Liz helped herself to another chip, dipping it carefully, giving her time to frame her words. “Do you know what a sexual submissive is?”
The other woman stared at her for what seemed like an endless moment, then she leaned back in her chair and laughed. Actually laughed until tears rolled down her cheeks.
Anger streaked up from inside Liz, burning hot. This was the last thing she’d expected from her friend. “I’m sorry you find this so outrageous,” she said in a carefully controlled voice.
Katie patted her face with her napkin and took a long swallow of her water, then shook her head. “Honey, I’m not laughing at you. I promise.” More water. “Here’s the thing.” She took a deep breath and looked intently at Liz. “I have my own secrets, girl friend. I’m a sexual submissive.”