Barch said slowly, "I came up for two reasons. I left some belongings here five years ago."
The Lekthwan frowned. "Incomprehensible. Five years ago Tkz Maerkl-Elaksd was in residence."
"That's correct, but it doesn't matter. The second reason is coming up now."
The Lekthwan turned. "The ship from home," he murmured. "Please excuse me; can you come some other day?"
"No," said Barch. He went to lean on the balustrade… Five years ago he had stood here watching a great vivid ball come rushing up to the terrace. And just so had the ball locked to the landing stage, just so had Komeitk Lelianr stepped out on the dark blue glass.
There were changes. Komeitk Lelianr was quieter, thoughtful, though she looked a little older. And Barch's heart had not been pounding then as it was now.
She saw Barch immediately; indeed her eyes swept the terrace as if she were seeking him. She stopped in mid-stride.
Her mouth tightened; Barch saw her eyebrows and eyelashes move in a quick series of characterizations.
She hesitated only an instant, then walked over to the balustrade. "I had not expected to see you here, Roy."
"I suppose not."
"You look very well. How long have you been home?"
"About two weeks. How about you?"
She spoke in a careful voice. "We made a fast voyage; eight months. The Lenape were able to work out a space-drive."
"We had no Lenape. We were all Earthmen."
"Oh? Then how did you find your way home?"
"By a very simple means. Perhaps it may strike you as primitive. After we left Magarak we searched the sky. In one direction, in only one direction could we expect to find familiar constellations: in the direction diametrically across the sun from Magarak. We found Orion, very small, very faint. We started in that direction, and kept on going."
"That was very ingenious. I was sure you would get home."
Barch smiled grimly. "I was never quite so sure."
She looked out into the warm air, hazy with afternoon vapor. "I feel I must explain to you-"
"Forget it," said Barch. "I know all about it. It wasn't your idea. The Lenape said, The crazy man is gone; now is a good time, we'll escape him and his mad ideas as well as the Klau,' and everybody thought it was a good idea."
"No," she said. "Not I."
"No. You kept your mouth shut. It was none of your concern, you told yourself. But you did have qualms. You hesitated. And they said, 'Hurry, are you coming or not?' And you went."
Her eyes were still searching the hazy distances. "That's very close. I realized that I owed you my life, but on Magarak my life was worth nothing to me, and I owed you nothing. I realize now that I owe you my freedom, and now my life and freedom are very precious." She turned, met his eyes.
Fascinated, Barch watched the shift of her eyebrows. "And I will pay, in whatever way I can."
Barch smiled. "What's the name of this characterization?"
Her mouth set angrily. "I mean it."
Barch shook his head. "You owe me nothing. My motives in protecting you, in trying to leave Magarak, were completely selfish."
"Nevertheless-I profited, and you lost. I must make adjustment."
"Adjustment?" He eyed her speculatively. "Exactly how do you mean, adjustment?"
"I can give you money."
Barch nodded. "I suppose you could."
She looked to where the young Acting Commissioner conferred with a tall majestic Lekthwan in a claret-red cloak. "If you cared to come to Lekthwa-to study, or for curiosity- you would be the guest of myself and of my people for as long as you liked."
"No, thanks. I've had enough space-travel. I'm glad to be home."
Her skin coppered with blood. "This obligation weighs me down; I must rid myself of it!"
"Well, what's next on the list?"
She looked up full into his eyes. "If you want me, I will be your mate, your wife." The words seemed to push themselves through her lips.
Barch grunted. "No thanks. Five years ago I learned the hard way. I sure did."
"That was Magarak, when I had no choice."
"What's the difference? If I wanted to marry, I'd want a wife, not a white elephant. We'd never be happy together. We don't think alike. You're contemptuous of my race. Here on Earth, we're learning to beat prejudice; you've got that still ahead of you. How would I feel married to a woman who would be ashamed to introduce me to her own friends?"
Komeitk Lelianr looked up at him intently. "You've changed a great deal, Roy."
"I suppose I have."
"But in some ways you remain the same."
"How so?"
"When we first met, you didn't like the Lekthwans."
"No." Barch looked back along the avenues of the past. "I had a sneaking hunch that they might be right when they claimed to be superior, and it hurt my vanity. Now I- know better. I don't have any personal feeling either for or against Lekthwans. We're all humans… Oh, I've changed all right."
"Perhaps I've changed too."
"But you're still a Lekthwan and I'm an Earther."
"You seem a great deal more conscious of the fact than I."
Barch started to protest, then caught himself up short. Perhaps he had not changed so much in five years as he had thought. "Human minds are just too damn complex," he said inconsequentially.
Komeitk Lelianr shrugged; she seemed to have lost interest in the conversation.
Barch asked stiffly, "How long do you stay on Earth?"
"Only a day or so. I came for my father's belongings."
"And then?"
"And then I will go back to Lekthwa." She spoke listlessly. "It is not the home I remembered. Somewhere I have caught a strange uneasiness. I have been excited talking to you." She looked thoughtfully up into his face.
He turned away, "I'll pick up my gear and be off."
She said nothing. He took a step away. "Good-by."
"Good-by, Roy."
He walked swiftly to the little room he had shared with Claude Darran. It was quite empty. Nothing I wanted anyway, thought Barch.
He returned to the terrace. Komeitk Lelianr still stood leaning back with her elbows on the balustrade. She was looking at him; she radiated an attraction, a physical force that impelled him toward her. He took a short step forward, halted. She looked at him with a curious expression neither inviting nor forbidding. Barch took a deep breath.
"Good-by, Ellen."
"Good-by, Roy."
He ran to the helicopter, jumped in. The pilot was reading a magazine.
"Let's go," said Barch.
The pilot stretched languidly. "Finish so soon?"
"Finish?" muttered Barch. "What do you mean 'finish?' There's nothing in life that has a finish."
"You're beyond me there, mister."
"Let's go," said Barch shortly.
The pilot looked down the terrace. "That young lady is coming down this way."
Barch slowly stepped out of the cab. He saw that she was breathing very hard. Her mouth was firm, pale, tight.
"Well?"
"I don't want you to leave."
"But-"
" Roy -it's taking a chance. I'm willing if you are."
He made no pretense of misunderstanding. "A big chance. You'll be cut off from your people."
"Perhaps, perhaps not… Are you afraid?"
Barch looked at her long seconds. Something warm broke inside him. "No. I'm not afraid."
Jack Vance
