‘And Laura will go with you?’
‘Yep, that’s the game plan. I’ll earn enough to look after her, and she loves the villa.’
‘Isn’t that where you both suffered so much? Isn’t that the very place she shouldn’t return to — or you for that matter? It’s there, no matter how you disguise it with waterfalls and flowers, that it all happened to you both.’
‘I guess it is, but I’ve never let us think about it. What it looked like then, and what it now is... It’s different. It’s home.’
‘This could also be your home, and you could work from here. You love it here, don’t you?’
‘Yes, you know I do, but...’
‘I would like to make it my home, live here with you both.’ William sat back, twisting the stem of his glass. When he looked up, Justin was staring at him and his body was rigid. Twice he started to say something and then stopped.
William tried to ease the tension. He poured more champagne. ‘I read Andrew Maynard’s diaries, and I was envious of his joy at finding love. He wrote of being so happy that it had changed his life. In many ways, you have changed mine, Justin.’
Justin’s eyes flicked to the dark ocean. ‘Ask me if I killed him, Willy. That’s what you really want to know. All this bullshit about being envious, just cut it out.’
‘Andrew committed suicide,’ William stated.
‘Did he?’
William gripped the stem of his glass.
‘I wrote the note, Willy, let it sink into the bath-water so the writing would be hard to read. I’ve always been expert at copying signatures. I also wrote the yellow sticker to make sure you would be called...’
‘I don’t believe you. How could you know that the housekeeper would call me and that I would remove Andrew’s diaries?’
Justin leaned back in his chair. ‘Because you were in love with him. Maybe you weren’t even aware of it. Andrew sussed that you were. Even if it wasn’t love, you must have desired him in some way. You certainly saw him often enough.’
William stared at the tablecloth. ‘I admired him, I trusted him, I believed that he would have a great future—’
Justin leaned across the table and grabbed his hand. ‘You want me to be truthful — why don’t you start playing the game straight as well? You didn’t lay out all that cash just to be his paymaster. What did you want out of it?’
William flushed as he said angrily that he had wanted Maynard’s success, nothing more. ‘I admired him, yes. Truth was, I bathed in his glory, and I got my knighthood through him, but...’
‘But?’ Justin asked softly, and William couldn’t meet his eyes. He told Justin about a little kid who had sat next to him at school, a stammering boy with long eyelashes who had kissed him and had been killed on a level crossing.
‘Andrew reminded me of Peter Jenkins, that was his name. Maybe there is something latent in me. I doubt if I could face up to it, but I often wondered why I was so distressed about him. But with Maynard I only wanted him to succeed. I wanted him to be my son. I had little or no relationship with Charlie then.’
‘Did you doubt your feelings or did you just not dare show Andrew what you really felt about him?’
William stared hard at him. ‘I don’t want to answer that, and we’re supposed to be talking about you, not me.’
‘But it all has to be ironed out, don’t you think? Lean forward, Willy.’
William did so, and Justin kissed his lips.
‘Are you afraid to love me?’ Justin asked, and rocked back in his chair. ‘You keep on saying how much you love me and Laura, but let’s take just me. Are you afraid to lie naked next to me, Willy, afraid to let me make love to you?’
‘Yes, I am, and that’s not why we’re here. I have offered—’
‘To take care of me and Laura. But you want me to tell you all my secrets yet refuse to tell me yours, or admit them. I’m not your son. I’m not Charlie. I’m Justin. To what depth does your love want to go?’
‘I won’t answer that. I’m just confused, and I need to know — did you kill Andrew?’
Justin kicked his chair back and walked to the window. ‘Yes. He had to die because he was becoming dangerous. He found out about my background. He was always delving into drawers and trying to find out more and more about me and Laura. Then he found out about his fucking sister and—’
‘She died in a car accident,’ William said, hardly audible.
‘I know. I fixed her brakes. I even followed her along the motorway and saw her car veer across the lanes. Camilla Maynard gave exclusive interviews to Humphrey Matlock. She was part of it. By the way, I held Matlock under the water until he drowned. What do you say about that? I mean, surely you don’t need to ask me why? You said you knew why. You said you knew everything. Well, now you do, and what do you think of me?’
William pushed back his chair and crossed to Justin. He held out his arms and Justin’s bravado evaporated. Like a small boy, he went to William and clung to him, sobs shaking his body. William held him tightly, soothing him, letting him weep until he was silent.
The thoughts that zigzagged through William’s mind made it difficult for him to remain calm. What Justin had said was shocking, yet he had suspected it all along, suspected and been afraid of it since he had talked to Marta at the villa. But it did not feel as if he was holding a killer in his arms, only a wounded boy whose suffering had obsessed him.
‘You’re the only friend I have ever had in my life,’ Justin whispered. He rested his head against William’s shoulder. ‘Sometimes I feel like I am insane. But the need to hurt those who tortured me and Laura would never go away. I had to do it, William, otherwise I would have gone crazy, like Laura.’
William led him back to the table and sat him down. He patted his shoulder, then used a napkin to wipe his tears. ‘How much a part of it is Laura?’
‘Oh, nothing but the planning. We planned everything together. We’re not just brother and sister. We’re lovers. We could only ever trust each other, you see? Can you understand what we became to each other? We were each other’s parents. We were all we dared to love because everyone else seemed intent on destroying us, and the more pain we experienced, the more we were drawn together. Only by being so close could we protect each other.’
William returned to his seat. His mind was in turmoil as he tried to assimilate the terrible things Justin had just told him. But he knew he must not allow Justin to see how affected he was by the truth.
Justin drained his champagne. ‘You’re confusing me,’ he said softly. In the candlelight his face was astonishingly beautiful, his high cheekbones shadowed, his jaw-line chiselled and his eyes glittering like azure stones.
William turned away on the pretext of pouring more champagne. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t intend to... er, confuse you. I’m trying to be as honest as I can. You’ve helped change my life. Now I want to help you straighten out yours. After what you’ve told me...’
‘What if it’s too late?’ Justin said.
‘It’s never too late. Look at what you did for me. And I’m not just referring to making me lose my gut. It’s what you did for me up here,’ William said, tapping his head.
‘But what if my confessions repel you, frighten you? You may betray me out of fear.’
William kept his gaze steady. ‘I will never betray you, Justin, and I mean it. This island will be a safe place. Do you understand what I’m saying? No one can get to you, or harm you or Laura. I will protect you both.’
‘Does that mean you can forgive me and forget what I have done?’
William watched as a multitude of emotions played across Justin’s handsome face. ‘No one is aware of what you have done. Unless they are told or the police reinvestigate Maynard’s suicide, they probably never will be.’