"No, my guess is Dortchen and Lisette heard a maid tell a story which, with a little fixing, became 'Rumpelstiltskin.' After the girls had cleaned up whatever parts they thought weren't fit for good ears, they went to the Grimms with it."
He stopped and grabbed my arm. "Know why else I think that? Because Dortchen ended up marrying Wilhelm Grimm later on. She didn't want to make a bad first impression, you know?"
"That's interesting. What else, Dave?"
"Only one more thing. They never stopped revising the tales. It's like the Folios of Shakespeare. First Folio, Second Folio . . . In 1920 in a place in Alsace called the Olenberg Monastery, someone discovered a set of the stories in the brothers' handwriting. Obviously that's become the definitive Grimm, but every scholar I read said they worked and reworked the originals for years. Even when you read them in German, imagine the difference between the 1812 'Rumpelstiltskin' and the last edition that came out in 1857."
"But there's no trace of the original story that the Wild Sisters told?"
"None."
Besides telling me this information, Buck was a quiet walker. If there was a landmark or building worth noting he mentioned it, but otherwise we trudged through the cold in silence. Past the Opera, the Bristol Hotel, the Imperial. At Schwarzenberg Platz we turned right and walked toward the Russian War Monument.
"Where are we going?"
"I found a Yugoslavian restaurant down by the Sudbahnhof that serves good sarma. You in the mood?"
"Lead on."
He was quiet awhile longer, but as we passed Belvedere Palace, surprised me by asking, "Why're you so interested in 'Rumpelstiltskin'?"
"A new movie project."
"What's the story?"
"It's an interesting idea. Did you ever read Grendel, by John Gardner?"
"Yes. The story of Beowulf told through the eyes of the monster?"
"This is similar. The story of 'Rumpelstiltskin' through his eyes."
"You're writing for Walt Disney these days?"
"No, but it's got some of the same feeling. In my story, the reason why the little man spun for the girl was so she'd love him. She promised she would if he made her straw into gold. But he doesn't trust her, so he makes her promise to give him her first child, just in case."
"And she says okay because she wants to be queen?"
"Right. Now, when she is queen he comes and says keep your promise. She tells him to fuck off."
"'Fuck off'? That's up to date. Are you making a postmodern version?"
"Picture this queen as an entirely egotistical, selfish bitch who'd do anything to get what she wants. She dupes the guy into making her gold, but never has any intention of loving him.
"Plus, here's one of the big twists: Since he's a magic man, he has no sex."
Buck laughed. "He's dickless?"
"In sweeter terms, sexless. But he's also a romantic. Believes if they love each other enough, they don't need sex."
"He sounds dopey. You sure this isn't 'Snow White'?"
"He is to a degree . . . a romantic dope. But that belief makes him vulnerable, more believable. Much more than a cliche leprechaun who wiggles his nose and makes a pot of gold appear.
"When he sees she won't love him, he's crushed. But then the bitter, spurned lover part in him comes out. 'If I can't have her, then I'm going to hit her right where it hurts.'"
"Take the kid."
"Not only does he take the kid, but treats him like a son and teaches him all his magic. Both to spite Mama and because he grows to love the boy. It makes sense. Since he can't have children this is the closest'he'll ever get."
"That's it? 'The End'? Rumpelstiltskin and son walk off into the sunset?"
"Not quite. Rumpelstiltskin takes the child and somehow moves them both over into real life. How he does that I don't know yet, but I'm working on it.
"In real life they live together happily for a while. Then Papa makes his biggest mistake: He allows the boy to grow up. And when the boy grows up he inevitably starts looking at women."
"The Brothers Grimm wouldn't like it, Walker. You're starting to get sexy."
"Wait. The boy grows up and falls in love with a woman. Papa gets completely pissed off because that was what got him into trouble in the first place – human love.
"Holy Jesus, it's true!"
Buck looked at me. "What's true?"
"Wait! The boy falls in love with a woman. The old man knows that if it goes further, he loses his son. So he threatens him by saying that if he goes with a woman, he'll get him. But the boy's a boy and ignores Papa. He goes ahead and falls in love and Papa kills him."
"Kills him? We're still talking Walt Disney here?"
"Kills him, but then brings him back to live another life. Hopes that by doing it, the boy will somehow have learned his lesson and will go back to loving Papa. But Walter doesn't remember his last life. So growing up, he falls in love again . . ." I stopped walking and looked straight at Buck. "Falls in love again and the old man kills him again. Again and again."
"Sounds interesting. There's the restaurant."
The place was smoky and too hot. Tough-looking men with thick moustaches and loud voices sat at tables drinking wine and talking. There was a television tuned to a soccer game in one corner, but no one watched. We ordered sarma and beer and checked out the room. No one was interested in us.
"Tell me the rest. The story ends with the old man killing his son, ad infinitum? No happy ending?"
"How would you end it?"
"I like sad ends. I'd leave it there. Post-modern and existential. It'll be shown at all the film festivals."
"Don't be modern. Tell me how the Grimms would end it."
"What are the essential elements of the story? Love is the big one."
"Bad love, mostly. Selfish or possessive."
"Okay, then the Grimms would make a point of showing you how bad that kind of love is, and how good love should win out."
"Give me an example."
"Am I going to get paid for this if you use it?"
"Sure. We'll take equal screenwriting credit."
"That's good. Maybe I could pay my heat bill then. Let's see, you've got your bad love, but we haven't seen much good so far. What about the kid's magic? You said the old man taught him."
"That's a problem too, because in this world, the kid doesn't remember how to do it. Just knows that he has it in him somewhere. When we meet him it's today and he's only discovered what's up. Who he is."
"Then let him be in love with a girl who shows him through love. That's kitschy. They'll love it in Hollywood."
"Too simple. She's just your normal beautiful girl. Reads the tarot, but doesn't know or understand real magic."
"Make the old man threaten her some way. That'll bring out the fighting spirit in our hero."
I started to say something but stopped. "What do you mean, threaten?"
"Go after the girl. You said the boy's finally discovered who he is? Then have the old man tell him he's going to kill the girl if he doesn't go back to their old way of life."
That bitch in the hospital.
The baby. The bleeding. The loss.
Even a father loses his patience after a while. This time you're not going to have another chance.
I stood up. "Dave, I have to go."