Ash was frowning. "But you said whoever we're looking for in this case isn't being very subtle. Deliberately?"
"Maybe. Or desperate. That was a very public place for a ritual," Riley said. "Especially a major ritual involving sacrifice. Add that to the obvious arson sites, all the signs and symbols…It's either deliberately blatant or very careless. Either way, somebody is moving fast. Maybe too fast to avoid mistakes."
"Any idea what that major ritual would have been?" Jake asked her. "You said these things had a purpose, right? So what purpose was there in torturing a man and then beheading him?"
Riley shook her head to the repeated question, and repeated her earlier answer. "I don't know. Yet."
He nodded as though expecting it. "Well, while you're working on that, I've got some people checking out that group in the Pearson house. Because as far as I can tell, they're the only ones in the area who worship Satan."
"Openly, at least," Riley murmured.
He ignored that. "Soon as the background checks are done, probably in the next couple of hours, I mean to have a talk with that bunch. You game?"
"I wouldn't miss it."
"Okay," Ash said as soon as they were left alone in the conference room, "I did what you asked. Got myself included in the investigation. Want to tell me now why that matters?"
Riley felt a little shock, and her mind raced. She didn't remember asking him to do any such thing and, since awakening to the missing twelve hours or so, had been too preoccupied to ask or even wonder why he had accompanied her to the sheriff's department.
She didn't doubt he was telling the truth, but she also had no idea why she would have asked this of him. Unless…
"Riley? Look, I'm not running away with some fatuous idea that you need me to hold your hand, but-"
"Actually," she said slowly, "I think maybe I do. In a manner of speaking."
He waited, brows lifting in a silent question.
Riley hesitated only a moment. "Jake said the background checks he's waiting for would take a couple of hours. There's something I want to check out myself in the meantime. And I don't think I should do it alone."
"Let's go," he said.
It wasn't until they were in his Hummer in the parking lot that he asked the obvious question.
"Where to?"
Riley drew a breath. "The clearing where the body was found."
He frowned. "I know Jake's kept the area roped off and guarded, but you've already seen whatever there was to see. Haven't you?"
"With my eyes, yeah."
He didn't need that explained. "But you said you weren't able to pick up anything clairvoyantly."
"I wasn't. But there were a lot of people around. It might be different now."
"Might?"
"I need to try, Ash." Because I lost more time, and maybe that changed things. Maybe.
He looked at her steadily for a moment, then started the engine. "Mine not to reason why."
"Long as you don't do and die," she murmured. "Or even ride into the mouth of hell."
Ash smiled. "Have I mentioned how much I appreciate having a well-read lover? I would have had to explain that reference to just about anyone else I know."
"Books and imagination see you through a lot as an army brat." Riley dug into her shoulder bag for a PowerBar. "I have a mind filled with facts, poetry, and way too much useless trivia."
"It's only useless until you need it."
She paused in unwrapping the bar to eye him. "You get that out of a fortune cookie?"
"Probably." He glanced at her. "I do have one question. Why me rather than your pal Gordon? He knows all about the clairvoyance, right?"
"Yeah."
"So why not pick a former army buddy as backup if you're expecting trouble of some kind? Not that I'm complaining, you understand. Just wondering."
Riley was wondering about that herself. She had no way of knowing for certain that she had asked Ash to join the investigation for this reason; it was merely logical to assume. Because she'd known from the beginning that she couldn't just accept the status quo, accept her MIA psychic abilities, that she'd have to push herself at some point, have to try with all her strength to tap into what that Taser's electrical surge had damaged.
She had no idea what would happen then. But logic also told her she shouldn't be alone when she tried. As for why she'd picked Ash over Gordon, logic provided a possible answer for that as well.
"Gordon's a civilian now," she said finally. "He can't be officially involved in a murder investigation. You can."
"Ah. Makes sense."
Yes, it made sense. It was logical.
She wasn't sure she believed it, however.
The problem, of course, was that Riley had no memory of what had prompted her request that Ash involve himself in the case officially. Maybe it was because of this, because she'd intended to try her damnedest to tap into her seemingly absent abilities and wanted someone she trusted standing by in case it knocked her on her ass.
Maybe.
Or maybe it was something else. Something that had occurred to Riley as her mind raced when Ash told her about a decision made, apparently, in those missing hours.
What if it happened again? What if she decided things, did things, made choices today that she wouldn't remember tomorrow? It had happened a second time now; had she somehow guessed or known that her spotty memory and damaged senses had only been the beginning of her problems? What if her mind, her brain, had sustained even more damage from the attack on Sunday night than she had any way of estimating?
What then?
Again, logic demanded that if she intended to remain on the case under these circumstances-and she did-then she needed someone trustworthy who not only knew the truth but was also in a position to stick close and observe her virtually around the clock. At any other time, another SCU member would have been the automatic choice. But that simply wasn't possible now.
Her lover, the DA of Hazard County, was the best choice she was left with.
But to say that Riley felt either confident in or comfortable with that decision would have been to overstate the matter. For one thing, it was a very unofficial way to conduct herself during an investigation, and not at all in character for her. For another and far more vital thing…
Can I trust him? I feel I can. Sometimes. Most of the time. But not always.
Doubts she couldn't even put into words nagged at her. It was like catching a glimpse of some movement from the corner of her eye, only to see nothing when she looked directly at it. She felt that way about Ash, that there was more going on than she could see, could know, and it made her wary.
But can I trust my feelings? Any of them?
And even if I can trust him, will he understand?
Can he?
Chapter 13
She hadn't yet made up her mind how to explain the situation to Ash. How much to tell him.
Do I tell him how out of control I feel? Do I tell him I'm scared? Do I tell him I don't remember us?
She didn't know.
"Riley?"
She realized she had tied the empty PowerBar wrapper into a knot, twice, and forced herself to stop. "Yeah?"
"You haven't told me a whole lot about the work you do, at least in specifics. But what you have said, and what I know of you, tells me that you've used your abilities most of your life. Yes?"
"Since I was a kid, yeah."
"And we've already discussed the fact that both your army and FBI training and experience have prepared you to face just about any eventuality."
Riley didn't reply since it wasn't a question, and as he pulled the Hummer into a space near the dog park she turned slightly in her seat to look at him.
Ash turned the engine off, then met her gaze and nodded slightly. "All that being the case, I have to ask what makes this situation different for you."