Settling a hand along her waist, he guided her toward a structure that looked very similar to a greenhouse-any greenhouse that mightve been erected on Earth. She saw once theyd entered that that was exactly what it was, sucking in her breath in wonder at the green that filled her vision. Anka! Its beautiful!
When he didnt answer, she turned to look at him questioningly. His expression was guarded, but there was a hard look in his eyes that told her he was angry. Why didnt you tell me?
The urge to pretend she didnt know what he was talking about assailed her. She discarded it, feeling defensiveness surge through her. That isnt fair! When was I supposed to have told you?
When you arrived? he asked tightly.
She gaped at him in outrage. Well pardon me all to hell! What was I supposed to do? Waltz up to you while you were wrapped around that damned female and announce it?
He flushed. Maybe when I took you to my quarters?
You didnt look like you were in the mood to talk! she snapped.
He gave her a look. We spent the entire night together. You couldve found some time, surely, to say something.
She looked away. I hadnt seen you in two months! I didnt think Id ever see you again. She looked at him earnestly. I didnt want to risk that youd be angry with me.
I am angry now! he growled.
She swallowed with an effort. I see that.
His gaze flickered to her belly. Is it mine?
If hed hit her she didnt think it wouldve stunned her more. She stared at him, feeling hurt, betrayed, and angry. She thought for several moments that she would burst into tears, but she was too angry to keep it inside. I dont deserve that, she said hoarsely, struggling to keep her chin from wobbling. What have I ever done, besides being born human, to deserve your contempt? Ive never once betrayed you or even thought about it!
He caught her when she turned away blindly to stalk off and leave him, tightening his grip when she struggled to break free. I know that, nodia. Im not sure I deserve it, but there is no doubt in my mind that you have always been faithful to me. That wasnt an accusation, he said, forcing her to turn and look at him. I wanted you to say it. I wanted you to tell me you were carrying my baby.
Of course its your baby! she sobbed. I wouldnt be here if it wasnt yours! I had to protect it. I didnt know what else to do. I didnt want to come begging for help when youd left me there-without a word! Without once telling me whether youd come back or not, or asking me to go with you, but I didnt have a choice! They were going to charge me with treason, put me in prison, and take the baby. I couldnt take a chance. I had to come!
He held her tightly while she cried all over his chest. I know, nodia. I just didnt understand why youd let them manipulate you into coming. You didnt betray anyone-not me and not your people. I wouldnt have put you in that position even if Id thought I could.
Sybil mulled that over and finally pulled away to look at him as a terrible thought dawned on her. You know? How do you know?
His lips tightened. Do you think your people are the only ones capable of surveillance? he asked dryly.
Sybil pushed away from him. You were watching me, too?
We werent watching you! he growled angrily. We were watching the politicians and their dogs! We had Meachum under surveillance! He sighed at the look on her face. I wouldnt allow surveillance on you.
Why not?
Because I didnt want to know if you betrayed me! he said angrily.
Which means you thought I might.
He seemed to wrestle with it. Yes. I thought you might.
Sybil sniffed, wiping her face with her hands. I guess that made it easier on your conscience to use me.
Now whos being unfair? Did I ever, once, ask you anything of a secure nature?
She sniffed again. No.
I came to you because I wanted to be with you-and for no other reason. I by-passed their security every time I came. I couldve walked through any room on that base. I didnt need to be there to breach their security.
She looked up at him hopefully. You wanted to be with me? Thats all?
He gathered her close. I didnt seem enthusiastic enough, nodia?
I thought you were just horny.
He uttered a bark of laughter at that. I was. Gods!
She sighed, enjoying being held by him. I dont suppose we could spend the day together? It would be really nice, for once, to spend time with you without worrying about every word I said.
His arms tightened briefly. I wish that I could, but there is more work to be done than we can all do working together. It wouldnt be fair to the others for me to take the day off and it wouldnt be a good example.
Disappointment flickered through her. I could help, she said hopefully. I grew up on a farm. I have a way with plants.
He looked uncomfortable. I cant risk it. If anything was to happen to the plants
She felt the blood leave her face. You cant think Id deliberately sabotage the plants?
He captured her face between his palms. I dont, but I cant risk it when the others dont trust you. I cant take a chance of you being accused if anything happened.
Sybil swallowed convulsively. She hadnt realized the other Sumpturians distrusted humans so much. It didnt sound good for her hope that she might find refuge with them. I understand. I guess you should take me back, then.
He shook his head at her. Do you think Id let you go back there?
Sybil gaped at him. But Anka! You have to! Think! I have to go back at least for a while, until until things are better here! You need the shipments of food supplies!
He flushed. As you see, were well on our way to having our first crop.
And youre worried even now that it wont bear fruit! Its alright. I can do this. We can both do it. Well just play along a little while longer and then, when youre more settled here and there isnt the threat to the colony that there is now, I can come. The baby wont be born for months yet.
He studied her face grimly. I know I dont have much to offer you, Sybil, but I swear Ill take the best care of you and the baby that I can. Its all I can do. I hadnt expected it, but its on the way, now, and I wont risk it or you by letting you go back.
Im not worried about that!
You should be, he said grimly.
Is it that bad still?
She could see he didnt really want to tell her, but he came to decision quickly enough to appease the fear that he still didnt trust her. Weve been rationing our food stores since we got here. Between what we have and what the ship brought, well be good for maybe six months if were careful. I wont lie to you. Its critical that we begin to grow our own food, and soon. We cant rely on the shipments from Earth. We couldnt even if it wasnt for your situation. There are food shortages there. Dont bother to lie to me. I know how things are there. Thats the only reason Im willing to keep you here-theres a risk for you and baby either way.
Your people wont be happy for me to stay.
Your people wouldnt accept me or the baby, he countered.
She didnt try to argue with him. I never expected this. I didnt think I guess I just didnt think at all.