I nodded.
“Push your left foot down on the clutch ‘til it’s on the floor.” He watched me do it. “Now, I want you to slowly give it some gas. It’s going to be like an equal give and take.” Turner was showing me hand motions trying to explain. “It’s okay if the gas revs the engine while you’re in first gear. As you gradually remove your foot from the clutch, the Jeep will move forward. You ready to try?”
My palms were sweaty. “No.”
He chuckled, placing his hand on my forearm giving it a squeeze. “Relax, this is fun and you’ll be surprised how easy it really is.”
“That’s what you say now,” I mumbled under my breath.
“What’s that?”
“Nothing,” I said rolling my eyes.
Having my first go, I visualized the motions he made with his hands. “It’s an equal give and take.” Right. My foot was pressed into the clutch, and I slowly gave it some gas. As the engine roared, I gently began releasing my foot from the clutch. The Jeep crept forward a couple of inches, and I got excited.
“We’re moving!” I smiled.
Clearly getting too excited, I did things a little faster than I was ready for. I picked my left foot up before there was enough gas being given and the Jeep jerked forward, hard. Turner uttered something along the lines of “gas, gas, gas.” Too late of course. We stalled.
He rubbed his hands together. “Again.”
I looked over at him. “Are you crazy? I’m going to break your damn Jeep. This was the dumbest idea you’ve had so far, which is saying something ‘cause we’ve done some insane shit, Turner.”
The belly rolling laugh that came out of him almost made me want to crack a smile, but I held my ground. “Do you know how many times I stalled before I actually was able to shift out of first gear? I thought my dad’s transmission was going to fall out. No quitting. Go again.”
I sighed. Much like the first time, I stalled again. And then again, and again. I slapped my hands on the steering wheel and cursed under my breath. This was one of the most frustrating things I think I’d ever tried to do in my life. If he told me I “could do it” one more time I swear, Turner Brooks was going to go home with a black eye.
“Alright, listen, I know it’s aggravating. Give it one more try. If it doesn’t work, we can switch spots and I’ll take you for a spin around the trails.”
“Fine.” I know my tone was that of a petulant child, but I didn’t care. Had I been standing I might have even stomped my foot on the ground.
Taking a deep breath, I tried to recenter myself. Doing everything he instructed of me when we first tried all of this, I took my time and was determined to at least make it into second gear. As if I willed it to happen, the vehicle moved. When it started to shake, I gave it some gas and I was finally able to make the shift. I squealed.
“Oh my God, I did it.” I lifted both my feet off the pedals and the Jeep shot forward and died. I busted out laughing. “Crap.”
He was grinning ear to ear, and looking at me like I was the most entertaining person on the planet. “You’re cute, you know that?”
“I’m cute?” I was still giggling. “You won’t think I’m so cute when I make your transmission fall out.”
He shook his head. “Nah.”
It got quiet and he was staring at me.
“What?”
“Nothing, I just think you’re a pretty special girl.”
I tilted my head to the side. “What do you mean?”
“You’re not like others that I’ve dated before, Annabelle. You’re just . . . different is all. Take it as a compliment.”
Heat creeped up my cheeks. “Thank you then.”
I didn’t know how else to respond. It was sweet how he said the words.
“Okay, want me to take you for a real spin now?”
I smiled, not even thinking twice about the danger or how I could possibly be scared. In this moment I was free and Turner was the one who held the key to that freedom. “Let’s go.”
It was an absolute blast. Never in my life had I felt so unguarded and careless. It was life and it was enjoyable. I had a boyfriend who was nothing short of amazing, a gratifying job, Noah was getting stronger by the minute, and friends that were truly there for me whenever I needed them. I was happy.
MY GOD, SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL. Hovering over the top of me, the wind lightly blowing her strawberry blonde hair past her face. She had a sheen of sweat across her brow from exertion and a smile that I had a feeling couldn’t be wiped from her face if someone tried. This was the happiest I’d seen her. Walls were down, heart was open, and I imagine this is the Annabelle that probably existed before her parents died. The world was blessed to have her. In this moment, I knew without a shadow of a doubt, I would do everything in my power to make sure she stayed this way for the rest of her days. She deserved this kind of freedom to be who she really is. If I saw her closing off the world, I’d make sure she let go and saw there was nothing to fear. I would be that for her.
“What are you smiling about?” I goaded her.
She bent down, my dick still buried inside her. She kissed the tip of my nose and said, “Nothing and everything.”
“Good. That’s the way it should be.”
Annabelle sat up and looked around her. She was searching for her clothes, which were a couple feet away. On shaky legs, I watched as she slid me out of her, and stood. Her body was incredible. Curves in all the right places and nothing but perfection to my eyes. I reached down and took the condom off, tying the end. Unlike her shyness from the last time, there was no reservation as she stood in front of me in all her gorgeousness. She dressed herself not caring that I was staring at her. I couldn’t take it anymore. After I taught her how to drive my Jeep, I needed her right then and there, so I took what I wanted.
“What is it, Doctor Brooks?”
“Just enjoying the view.”
She bit her lip. I swear if she didn’t stop, she was going to have to get naked all over again.
“Hmmm, yes. it is beautiful out here.” Her aqua eyes roamed the area.
“I see nothing but you.”
She picked up my shirt and tossed it in my face, giggling. “Get dressed charmer.”
I got up and put my clothes back on. She folded the blanket we’d been on while I walked over to the Jeep. Annabelle’s phone started ringing the second I got near. I glanced at the screen and saw it was the hospital, but ignored it. It was her day off. They were probably calling to ask her to do overtime or cover someone’s shift. Not today. Today, she was mine. I went around to the driver’s side and checked my own phone. Hers went off again. What on earth? I picked it up and called over to Annabelle.
“Hey, the hospital is trying to call. Want me to answer?”
She came toward me at a leisurely pace. She looked completely satisfied.
“Sure. If they want me to come in, tell them no.” She laughed at herself.
I swiped my finger to pick up the call.
“Hello, Doctor Brooks. “
“Doctor Brooks? Oh sorry, I was trying to get in touch with Annabelle, is she around?”
“She is, but she isn’t able to come to the phone at the moment.”
“Oh, okay. Well, this is Lauren, one of the NICU nurses. I care of the little boy she frequently visits.”
There was a tone in her voice that had me more alert. “I know who you are, Lauren. What’s going on?”
She sighed into the phone, reluctant to tell me. “The baby . . . he, uh, he went into cardiac arrest earlier this morning and, unfortunately, the doctors weren’t able to get him back into a regular arrhythmia. He passed away around noon. We knew she’d want to know.”
My heart sank. Everything around me came crashing down.
“Oh shit. Okay, well, thank you for calling.” It may have been rude, but I hung up.
I watched as Annabelle came toward me, the smile still in place from only moments ago and I was about to deliver news to her that would send her spiraling. How the hell was I going to tell her this? She was good. She was happy. Noah dying was something that would send every guarded wall and barrier right back up in place with steel walls. How would I deal with her then? It didn’t matter. My needs were selfish. I had to tell her.