“I’ve been up against that all my life. I have something in my head that just won’t quit. It’s a way I have of asking the next question: why is so-and-so the way it is?
Why can’t it be such-and-such instead? There is always another question to be asked about anything or any situa-tionespecially you shouldn’t quit when you like an answer because there’s always another one after it. And we live in a world where people just don’t want to ask the next question!
“I’ve been paid all my stomach will take for things people won’t use and if I’m mad all the time, it’s really my fault—I admit it—because I just can’t stop asking that next question ‘and coming up with answers. There are a half-dozen real block-busters in ‘that lab that nobody will ever see and half a hundred more in my head. But what can you do in a world where people would rather kill each other in a desert, even when they’re shown it can turn green and bloom—where they’ll fall all over themselves to pour billions into developing a new oil strike when it’s been proved over and over again that ‘the fossil fuels will kill us all? Yes, I’m angry. Shouldn’t I be?”
She let the echoes of his voice swirl around the court and out through the hole in the top of the atrium and waited a little longer to let him know he was here with her and not beside himself and his fury. He grinned at her sheepishly when he came to this.
And she said, “Maybe you’re asking the next question instead of asking the right question. I think people who live by wise old sayings are trying not to ‘think—but I know one worth paying some attention to. It’s this. If you ask a question the right way, you’ve just given the answer.” She went on, “I mean, if you put your hand on a hot stove you might ask yourself, how can I stop my hand from burning? And the answer is pretty clear, isn’t it? If the world keeps rejecting what you have to give—there’s some way of asking why that contains the answer.”
“It’s a simple answer,” he said shortly. “People are stupid.”
“That isn’t the answer and you know it,” she said.
“What is?”
“Oh, I can’t tell you that! All I know is that the way you do something, where people are concerned, is more important than what you do. If you want results, I mean you already know how to get what you want with ‘the tree, don’t you?”
“I’ll be damned.”
“People are living, growing things, too. I don’t know a hundredth part of what you do about bonsai but I do know this—when you start one, it isn’t often the strong straight healthy ones you take. It’s the twisted sick ones that can be made the most beautiful. When you get to shaping humanity, you might remember that.”
“Of all the—I don’t know whether to laugh in your face or punch you right in the mouth!”
She rose. He hadn’t realized she was quite this tall.
“I’d better go.”
“Come on now. You know a figure of speech when you hear one.”
“Oh, I didn’t feel threatened. But—I’d better go, all the same.”
Shrewdly he asked her, “Are you .afraid to ask the next question?”
“Terrified.”
“Ask it anyway.”
“No.”
“Then III do it for you. You said I was angryand ‘afraid. You want to know what I’m afraid of.”
“Yes.”
“You. I am scared to death of you.”
“Are you really?”
“You have a way of provoking honesty,” he said with some difficulty. “I’ll say what I know you’re thinking: I’m afraid of any close human relationship. I’m afraid of something I can’t take apart with a screwdriver or a mass spec-troscope or a table of cosines and tangents. I don’t know how to handle it.”
His voice was jocular but his hands were shaking.
“You do it by watering one side,” she said softly, “or by turning it just so in the sun. You handle it as if it were a living thing, like a species or a woman or a bonsai.
It will be what you want it to be if you let it be itself and take the time and the care.”
“I think,” he said, “that you are making me some kind of offer. Why?”
“Sitting there most of the night,” she said, “I had a crazy kind of image. Do you think two sick twisted ‘trees ever made bonsai out of one another?”
“What’s your name?” he asked her.