She was pretty. Really pretty, and probably smart and possibly great in bed. But just because I could acknowledge those things didn’t mean that I wanted her. I knew her type, and I wasn’t about to be the object of her slumbunny attention.
“I get that you’re probably used to getting what you want.” I took two steps away from her. “But get ready for a shock, Caroline. I have no interest in you. And I’m not going to be your summer entertainment. So find someone else to screw.”
“I’ve screwed them all.” She spit the words out, then relaxed and took a breath. Her face was calm, like she wasn’t remotely offended by what I said. “It’s practically incestuous here. You’re new, that’s all.” She shrugged. “If you’re so committed to your little girlfriend, then forget I said anything. We can just hang out, if that’s cool.”
I knew there was no trusting a girl like her, but I wasn’t about to get on her bad side.
“Sounds cool.” She caught up with me and we walked the narrow path to the beach.
“Do you want a beer?” She pointed to a big aluminum bucket packed with ice and gleaming bottles.
We were down by the beach, and there was a huge pine branch fire crackling on the sand. It smelled like hot sap and dusky smoke. “No.” I shook my head. “Thanks, but I don’t drink anymore.”
“Ooh, what a bad boy.” Caroline ran her hand lightly down my arm. “So do you go to the gym?”
“Is that your best pickup line?” I couldn’t help smiling at her. She might be a pain in the ass, but her persistence was admirable.
“I have better. Should I try them out on you?” She made a kissy face at me and laughed a little. It seemed like a decently real laugh, so I joined in.
“Who’s your buddy, Caro?” Suddenly there was a guy who looked like an Abercrombie model jonesing for a fight.
“Back off, Bryce.” Caroline put a palm on his chest and pushed with all her meager strength. “We’re just talking. Can’t you go bother someone else?”
He looked at me for a long, drawn-out minute, then turned on his heel and stalked away.
“Friend of yours?” I watched his flip-flops nearly fall off his feet as he stormed through the sand.
“That’s Bryce Kicklighter. He and I’ve fooled around practically every summer since we were in grade school, and he has this crazy idea that we should be monogamous this summer.” She rolled her eyes. “He’s so fucking boring I could fall asleep under him.”
“Okay.” Her bored, edgy way of seeing the world threw me, and I sat down on the sand next to her with the feeling I should get up and leave nagging at the back of my mind. I took inventory of the kids who sat by the fire, some of them my blood cousins.
Money sure as hell didn’t buy automatic good looks, but it bought nice white teeth, professionally cut and colored hair, skin treated by dermatologists, and expensive clothes. There was a lot of noise coming from all of their little groups, but it wasn’t really happy. Just loud.
“What’s wrong?” Caroline brushed her fingers over my forearm to get my attention. “You should really have a beer.”
“Wow, you’re persistent. I said no.” I turned my arm so her fingers would slide off without me having to tell her to stop touching me.
“It might help you relax. You’re among friends now.” She flipped a strand of reddish-blonde hair behind her shoulder and stretched like a cat in heat.
“I’ve done the whole drinking thing.” My eyes followed the volleyball that bounced back and forth over a net in the most half-hearted game I’d ever seen. “I’m over it.”
“I didn’t say you should get blitzed.” She slid her foot out of her sandal and pulled it along my leg. “One beer? Maybe two? What’s the big deal?”
Her tone aggravated me, and that was pretty out of character. I was usually a laid-back guy. And I guessed I was feeling pretty coiled up, and it was just one and getting one would get her off my back, so I went over and cracked one open. Once I chugged it down, the whole gathering-on-the-beach thing did look more fun. After three beers the fire started to look really beautiful, and I had a fifth in me when someone suggested skinny dipping.
Five isn’t usually a lot for me, but it had been a long time since I drank anything. I joined the cavorting crowd running down to the lake just like I suddenly belonged, and in my bleary head I wondered about the old saying ‘blood is thicker than water.’ What about beer and blood? My brain sloshed through my thoughts dizzily.
Caroline led me off to the side. She was definitely drunk. She could hardly stand up straight.
“I was hoping you’d do this.” She peeled her tank top over her head and shimmied out of her little skirt.
“Why’s that?” My voice sounded fuzzy in my own ears. I pulled my shirt off and let my pants fall.
“Because I wanted to see you…naked,” she whispered. She unsnapped her bra and her breasts were out in the moonlight, her nipples hard in the cold night air. She slid her panties down her legs, and I saw that she was totally shaved.
I kicked off my boxers, and she drew a finger along my chest. “Just as good as I imagined.” Her smile twisted on her lips.
I was on my way to being good and drunk, but I wasn’t there yet. I was mostly just without any worries or very sound decision-making skills. The moon was big and bright and the water wasn’t completely frigid. We jumped off the dock. I dove under, and the shock of the cold water was absolute. For a minute, I swam just under the surface, and the realization of what I was doing rushed over me.
I was drinking. With Caroline. It was innocent right at that minute, but it could turn into something else so fast, I wouldn’t realize the full extent of what was happening until the deed was done.
That wasn’t what I wanted.
I popped back up away from the others and scanned the water for Caroline, but I didn’t see her. I figured she was just in the crowd, and swam for shore. I had my boxers back on when I heard someone scream. I jumped back in and swam, because I knew without having to ask that it was her.
I swam hard and fast to where she was floating, face down. I grabbed her under the arms and dragged her in. By then everyone was screaming, the girls were crying, and without really thinking, I pulled her onto shore and gave her the best version of CPR I knew. It was mandatory training at Zinga’s, and it had been a while since I’d gotten certified. But I had a general idea of what to do. I tilted her head, opened her mouth, and turned her to her side, filled her lungs with my breath, then turned her again, pumped at her chest, and did that jerky rotation a few more times until she coughed and choked.
“Someone bring a damn towel!” I yelled and someone handed me one that I wrapped around her.
“Jake?” She looked at me in confusion.
“You almost drowned, you idiot!” I held her face roughly. This girl, this dumb girl had almost died right here, and it would have been at least partially my fault for not keeping a better eye on her when I knew she was too drunk to be swimming.
“You saved me.” Her brown eyes went wide. She shivered.
Then her mother was there, pretty bombed herself, and she was crying and rocking with Caroline in her arms.
And I knew it was a dickhead thing to be thinking right at that moment, but I was glad as hell I had my boxers on. I went back to shore and gathered the rest of my things, then stalked back to the big, ornate house filled with shit no one really needed and people no one really liked.
The next morning buzzed bright, the way so many mornings had after I drank. The difference was, all the other mornings I had been drinking because I wanted to. Last night I had done it without really wanting to. I stood in front of a girl I didn’t like while she stripped down to nothing, then got herself into stupid trouble that could easily have killed her.
I wanted to call Bren and tell her what happened, but it was a lot.