Rowan looked down to her fingers and picked dirt from below her nails. “But you’re not his mommy.”
“Row, look at me.”
“What?”
I smiled and reminded her of the time I came into her life. “Your mommy couldn’t take care of you either, but I could, and I loved you so much. You have to think about Vander’s feelings, too, love bug. I know it’s hard, but Vander doesn’t have a mommy right now, and he needs us. Can you understand that?”
“Yes, okay,” she replied in a sincere tone.
“That’s my girl. So tell me why you can’t have two secret tunnels?”
“Can we?”
“Your dad can build anything. Of course you can.”
Rowan left me without another word, yelling to Vander that they can have two secret tunnels. I walked away with a smile and to the voices coming from the family room.
“Vander has a physical in two hours. Why didn’t you wake me up?” I questioned when I saw Paxton standing behind the sofa.
Our eyes met and I saw the ghostly white expression.
“What are you doing here, Mi.”
Nothing seemed normal. It was all a haze of faraway voices and blurred vision.
My eyes left their pale faces and turned to the television.
Fox 8 News.
Live.
A body.
A missing female from Michigan.
Izabella Delgardo Suit.
Washed into Bay Valley swamps.
Decayed.
Tattoo over her heart.
Family has been notified.
Body found.
Body found.
Body found.
Epilogue
Vander looked so handsome in his little suit and tie, his hair slicked over to the side like Uncle Paxton’s. He was such a good boy. My heart was full of so many things, but watching that little boy place a rose on that coffin was the hardest thing my heart would ever remember.
Paxton held me tight to his side and we both held the girl’s shoulders as they stood in front of us and watched their first cousin walk slowly to the white box. He stared at the family photo, to the only dad he ever knew, and to a mom he would never see again.
As sad as it was, that day marked a new beginning for all of us. A closure that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, yet one that we all needed in order to move on.
Vander was a trooper, he never shed a tear. Not in front of anyone that is. He cried in my arms when I tucked him into bed that night, and I cried with him. Burying my sister was the second hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. The first one was telling her son that she would never come home to him. That hurt. A lot.
“You see that one right there?” he asked as he pointed to the globe behind the glass shelf, Paxton had moved in for him from his office. He said he needed the room, but it was really for Van. The shelf was perfect for his display.
I stood and walked to the cabinet. “This one?”
“No, the next one.”
I picked up the globe with the blue water and silver flakes. A simple sign stood crooked in the middle and nothing else. “Tell me about it,” I coaxed as I sat next to him, pulling him back into my arms. I was never letting go. Never.
“The sign says everything leaves a remark. Do you know what that means, Aunt Gabby?”
“No, baby. Tell me.”
“My mommy said it means that everything is always as it should be, cause everything happens for a reason.”
I smiled and ruffled his hair. “Your mommy was very smart. I love that.”
“I miss her.”
“I know, buddy. You better get some rest. You’ve had a long day.”
“Hey, Van-man. Do you have any idea how proud of you I am?” Paxton asked from the door.
“Night, buddy. I’ll see you in the morning. I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
Paxton stopped me by holding my wrist. I leaned into him because I couldn’t help it. I was all cried out, desperately seeking something to hold on to.
“Phi has a hangnail. She needs you,” he quietly spoke.
I looked up to his gaze feeling like a dumb little fish, and past him, to the photo of the tall black guy, wearing number ten with Van on his shoulders. To a little boy with so much joy on his face, so much love.
“I need you, too, Gabriella.”
I smiled a genuine smile, but pulled away. Mostly because Ophelia called to me like she was dying.
I wasn’t sure what the future held for us, but I knew one thing, I wanted this family with my whole heart. I knew there would be bridges to cross, tolls to pay, and hurdles to jump, but I was ready. Ready to move past the memories that I didn’t remember, ready to create new ones, and ready to be the best mom I could be to my babies. To my Clydes.
Once I had Ophelia’s tiny hangnail cut off, and Rowan tucked into bed, I walked outside to the cool evening air, feeling a new sense of wellbeing. Even with the possibility of it being fake, the doubt of it never being okay, I knew it would be.
I looked up to a clear, star filled sky and breathed in the air as my eyes closed.
“You okay,” Paxton asked from behind me.
For the first time in almost two weeks, I let him touch me, wrap me in his arms, and make me feel like I was his. That he was mine, and we were going to fight this fight together. We had to.
“I’m sorry I threw your magic rock in the ocean,” he said into my hair.
I smiled and leaned into him more. “I’m sorry I threw yours in there, too.”
One arm left my body and reached into his pocket. “I got a new one.”
I took his hand in mine, letting the magic stone nestled in the palm of my hand click with his. Once again, becoming one.
“I love you so much Gabriella.”
“I love you too, Pax. I swear I do.”
“You say that like it’s a hard thing to do.”
I giggled a little with that one. That was an understatement. Paxton was a hard man to love, but he also loved hard when he loved back. Deep shit, that doesn’t even make any sense. The kind of love that you have to work hard as hell for, because you know how good it could be. That’s what I had to push for.
“We don’t have to talk about this right now if you don’t want, but I need to know what to put on the tombstone. I’m perfectly fine with whatever you choose. I just didn’t know if you wanted, you know. Do you want it to say Gabriella? That is who she is. I can put whatever you want on it. It doesn’t have to be what the death certificate says.”
“No, I want it to say Izabella. That’s the way it should be. I’d rather keep her name. It makes me feel closer to her, but you’re right. Talk about something else. I’ve had enough sadness for one day.
“We haven’t made love in almost two weeks.”
I laughed. “Is that unusual?”
“Unheard of. Can we? I’ll lick your pussy.”
Another laugh. “You’re going to last like two minutes.”
“I know; that’s why I’m offering to lick your pussy first.”
I turned to my husband and kissed him, all joking aside. I was in love with a family I didn’t remember, and loved it. All of it.
Stupid little fish.
The End Turn the page for a surprise.
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