Snoutie closed his eyes, and his cheeks flushed pink. He stroked his round tummy and got so wound up in his thoughts about lunch that he didn’t even realize he had begun singing one of his very own songs:
How nice it is to eat to my filclass="underline"
To gobble up sweet ears of corn right off the grill!
I love to stuff my tummy until my pants are tight,
And then wish everyone a pleasant good night.
“Snoutie, have you decided what gift you will take with you?” interrupted Goose. “I’m ga-ga-ga-guessing you know that you can’t go over to someone’s house empty-handed.”
Snoutie was a little confused, but he nodded in agreement anyway.
“My Suit for Special Occasions is always ready, but I haven’t had the chance to think about a gift yet.”
“The most important thing is that the gift be wrapped in a wide, brightly-colored ribbon,” continued Goose importantly. “I can help you with that if you want.”
“Thank you, Goose,” said Snoutie, a little confused. “That’s very kind of you, but I still have no idea what my gift will be.”
Then Snoutie ran to get his Suit for Special Occasions from his closet.
“Oh, I hope I won’t be late for lunch,” worried Snoutie, looking at the watch his parents gave him for his Fifth Birthday. Since Snoutie loved lunchtime very much, his watch always showed either Almost Lunch Time or Exactly Lunch Time. “I think it’s almost time for me to get ready and go. But what gift should I take with me?” he said out loud, looking especially closely at his morning guest, who was quickly flipping through the letters in his bag.
“Goose! Goose!” Snoutie cried happily, understanding that he had just had an excellent idea. “Let’s go to Michelle’s house together!”
“I would, of course, with pleasure, but you, my friend, were the only one who was invited,” answered Goose in surprise.
“And I will be the only one visiting! You will be the very Gift that I will be taking with me. And what’s more, I have a beautiful, red silk ribbon that will go quite nicely with your white feathers.” Without waiting for a reply, Snoutie started digging messily around in a drawer for the ribbon.
“Apparently,” said Goose, after thinking it over for a while, “no one really cares what my position is on this issue, even though they perhaps should, especially considering what an Educated and Scholarly Goose I am,” he added, throwing an Instructive Glance at Snoutie. “However, I believe that such an Important Goose and such a Creative and Poetic Goose as I should have no problem serving as a Very Ceremonial Gift. Especially if it helps solve a complicated situation.” Here he fluffed out his feathers importantly, acknowledging his own Goosey Significance.
But Snoutie was so taken with his excellent idea, and he was in such a hurry to get to Michelle’s house by lunchtime, that he didn’t even hear the last words pronounced by the Very Ceremonial Gift. Two minutes later, Goose was looking admiringly in the mirror at the red bow around his neck. He backed away from the mirror and then walked close up to it again, tilting his head this way and that, and sticking his neck w-a-a-a-y out. He just could not get enough of himself.
“How ga-ga-ga-glamorous!” he finally honked breathlessly. “That means beauty, luxury, and splendor. That means chic,” explained Goose in response to Snoutie’s amazed look.
“Come along! Let’s hurry!” said Snoutie, looking at his watch and waving around a box holding a blancmange cake with raspberries that he had brought home the day before from Chez Royal Chef Rabbit. Snoutie believed that an extra tasty dessert could never hurt, even if the hosts were offering something sweet anyway.
So Snoutie and Goose hurried off to Michelle’s house.
“Listen, Snoutie, do you think Michelle will look at her gifts carefully?” asked Goose suddenly in alarm.
“I don’t know,” said Snoutie, surprised. “Why are you asking?”
“You see, unfortunately, out of politeness many people pretend that they like a gift when they haven’t actually taken a good look at it. Then they forget about it right away and set it off somewhere to the side,” explained Goose, looking sadly at his feet.
“I think Michelle will be very happy with such a Gift,” said Snoutie, trying to cheer up Goose before he got too upset.
“Michelle is without a doubt a very well-mannered young lady,” said Goose, his spirits lifting. “I am sure that she will look very closely at your Gift and will of course be able to see its true value.”
Soon Snoutie was ringing the doorbell at Michelle’s house, and his Very Ceremonial Gift was shifting from foot to foot and importantly fluffing out his feathers.
“It’s nice to see you, Snoutie! Hello, Goose!” said Michelle welcomingly.
“It’s an honor, Mademoiselle!” said Goose, bowing in the old-fashioned manner by taking a step back with one foot, bending his neck, and lifting up his right wing. “A daisy,” he added, handing Michelle a little flower that he had picked along the way and kept under his left wing.
“How lovely!” smiled Michelle, accepting the flower.
“That’s called ga-ga-ga-gallantry!” Goose responded with a bow and importantly took a step back.
“Michelle, Michelle, this is my gift for you,” remembered Snoutie, pointing to the wide, red ribbon tied around Goose.
The well-mannered young lady clearly saw the true value of her Gift.
Then Snoutie began to get worried, because he felt like Almost Lunch Time had passed and that Exactly Lunch Time had arrived a couple of minutes before, which meant that it was time to hurry to the table.
“Please, come sit down,” said Michelle, inviting Snoutie and his Very Ceremonial Gift to the table.
After tying his napkin around his neck and sighing deeply with pleasure, Snoutie started shoveling food into his cheeks. He did a fairly quick job of gobbling up as much as he could of all the food on the table: sorrel soup with fried corn fritters and cheese, green bean pods and eggplant salad, a cranberry fruit drink and grilled sweet potato sprouts, stewed apple quince and cabbage turnovers, strawberries with whipped cream and a chocolate cake with cherries on top, and plum pudding and mint tea. It was clear that the hosts had spent a lot of time preparing for their guests.
“That was a nice little snack,” panted a satisfied Snoutie with difficulty. “And now it’s time to have a proper meal!”
“I think sometimes you eat a little too fast, dear Snoutie,” said Michelle. “Do you think it might be a good idea to slow down a bit?”
“W-e-e-e-l-l-l…” mumbled Snoutie, clearly confused as he squirmed in his chair, “perhaps you’re right, but packing my mouth with food somehow makes it juicier and tastier. Small portions just don’t make me as happy. It’s like I swallow them too quickly and I don’t enjoy them as much.”
He looked around the table, trying to decide what to eat next, and then he started moving his snunk around anxiously because he realized how quickly he had eaten up the appetizers, the first course, the second course, and the dessert while all the others were just starting on their main dishes.
“It wasn’t enough, of course,” thought Snoutie. “I should sample it all again. I wonder if good etiquette says that guests should always leave hungry? I don’t seem to remember anything about that.”
But, since he was a well-mannered Snoutie, he didn’t say any of this out loud.
Finally he decided that he had probably eaten quite enough, and he started swinging his paws under the table and whistling a tune under his breath. It went something like this:
But why, oh why,
I’ll never understand,
However hard I try,