And before Mindy could even respond to that quote, another was released the next morning, this one by Celia herself.
“My goal in this ordeal is to just move on with my life. I hold no real ill will against Greg for the circumstances he now finds himself in. Our marriage was already over at the time he committed his indiscretion with Mindy Snow. Like Greg, I believe it to be unlikely that the child is his given Mindy’s behavior. I just want our divorce to go smoothly and be finalized as quickly as possible so I can remain focused on my music career and my touring schedule. As stated before, Greg and I will remain dear friends forever. We just simply cannot be married to each other. And, as for Ms. Snow, despite her well-known reputation for promiscuousness, low moral character, and scheming, I am not prepared to call her a whore ... at least not yet.”
Mindy became so angry after reading this article that she had to pop a couple of Xanax pills and chase them down with a vodka and tonic before she could even start to formulate a response.
“Those assholes!” she screamed at Georgette, who had pretty much moved in with her to keep on top of the crisis management. “Those lying pieces of shit! How dare they?! How fucking dare they?!”
“Mindy,” Georgette said gently, “are you sure you should be drinking that?”
“It’s okay,” Mindy said with a wave of the hand. “I took an extra prenatal vitamin with the Xanax.”
“Oh ... well, in that case...” Georgette said, again resisting the eye-roll urge. Not for the first time (or the last) she started to wonder if it were about time to retire from the celebrity management gig.
“They’re flat out lying!” Mindy said, slugging down a little more of her drink. “They’re lying about the condom; they’re lying about their fucking marital problems!” She looked at Georgette meaningfully. “We’re dealing with liars here, Georgie! Liars! People who have no qualms about telling those dirtbag reporters completely false information just to make me look bad!”
“Yes,” Georgette said soothingly. “Isn’t it awful when people use the entertainment press for their own nefarious schemes.”
Again, the sarcasm and the hypocrisy flew right over her pretty head. “Exactly!” she said righteously. “We have to respond to this! We have to do it today. The fucking nominations are being announced day after tomorrow. I don’t want this shit to detract from that.”
“I think that ship has pretty much sailed,” Georgette opined dryly.
Mindy tensed up, prepared to yell again, but then relaxed. She nodded her head. “Yeah ... maybe you’re right. But I still want to respond to this slanderous crap immediately.”
“What exactly do you plan to say?”
“First of all, that there was no fucking condom!” she said. “I’ve already gone on record with that, but I want to reiterate it in no uncertain terms. No condom was used! It’s the fucking truth! There wasn’t one! How in the hell would I have gotten knocked up with his baby if there was a condom? Why would he even suggest that?”
“Again,” Georgette said patiently, “it is highly likely that Greg really believes the child is not his; that you are just trying to scam him.”
“I am not trying to scam him,” Mindy said righteously. “I don’t give a fuck about his money or about child support. I don’t want to marry him or have an ongoing relationship with him—he’s way too fuckin’ square for me—and nothing would make me happier than for him to renounce all involvement in the baby’s life. I just want the goddamn world to know that my child carries his genes. Is that too much to ask?”
“Apparently so,” Georgette said. “You don’t really want to go into detail with the entertainment press about the use of a condom during the encounter, do you?”
“Fuck yes I do,” she said. “I want the truth to be known.”
Georgette sighed. “Very well,” she said. “I will discuss how you rode bareback on Greg Oldfellow’s cock when I talk to Ms. Tapp later today. What about Celia’s statement?”
“What about that fuckin’ cunt?” Mindy growled. She was still steaming about the ‘not prepared to call her a whore’ quote.
“Do we acknowledge her release? Her accusations about your moral character?”
“Goddamn right we do,” Mindy said. “Whip me up something about how that bitch doesn’t even know me and that she’s only passing on Hollywood gossip and that I’m considering suing her for slander. Yes, I boffed her fucking husband, but only because she didn’t want him anymore and now she’s just a sore loser.”
Georgette nodded. “I will present the concept,” she said. “After, of course, a bit of rephrasing.”
“Probably a good idea,” Mindy agreed.
And so began the back and forth on the issue of protection involved that would be forever known as ‘Condom-Gate’. Mindy’s version was fed to Bernadette Tapp of the LA Times later that day. In it she reiterated that she had a single sexual encounter with Greg Oldfellow while the two of them were intoxicated. She had been on birth control pills but there had been no condom involved. She was unsure why Greg Oldfellow kept insisting that there was a condom involved, but her speculation was that Greg, who had been pretty drunk, might not remember the entire encounter. She also reiterated, once again, that she had had no other sexual partners in the months preceding her encounter with Greg. She once again advanced the opinion that the upcoming DNA paternity test would remove all doubt.
Following journalistic standards—something that was not always done by the entertainment press—Bernadette Tapp then called Johnny Stapleton to get Greg’s response to Mindy’s version of events. Instead of letting Johnny field the interview, Greg gave it himself. Greg told Bernadette that he had perfectly clear memories of the encounter between himself and Mindy and that he had, in fact, used a condom, mostly out of concern for possibly picking up an STD from the drunken actress. He had taken her at her word that she was using birth control pills and the thought that he might accidentally get her pregnant had been the furthest thing from his mind.
“You carry condoms with you just for such occasions?” Tapp asked him at this point.
“No, I do not carry condoms with me,” Greg replied, seemingly offended by the suggestion. “When things started to heat up with Mindy on that night, I decided to put a stop to the encounter because I did not want to have sex with her without such protection. But Mindy apparently does carry condoms with her. She pulled one out of her purse and gave it to me. That was the condom I used.”
“You’re saying that Mindy provided the condom?” Tapp asked, nearly drooling at this point.
“That is correct,” Greg told her. “Since I really had no excuse to stop any longer ... well ... I put it on and we did the deed. I have been regretting it ever since.”
“Did you inspect the condom before you put it on?” she asked next.