What have we told you about chasing cars? Nothing yet—but chasing cars can actually help you secure your prey! You and your horde can distract the driver enough to cause a wreck worthy of Hollywood. Road obstacles and curvy roads increase the chances of causing a successful accident.
Depending on the speed of the vehicle, your reanimated muscles might eventually tear to the point of affecting your mobility, so don’t overexert yourself. In addition, watch out for random shots being fired from the vehicles (see “Avoiding the Bullet,” page 84).
Werezombies—undead werewolves—excel at car chasing. They have been known to exceed 55 MPH before incurring severe muscle damage.
Human Extraction
Hey, it actually worked—you stopped a vehicle! Now you need to extract your victims. Penetrating the outer defenses of a common civilian vehicle can be done quite easily. The following illustration and instructions provide a few quick tips on how to get access to a car’s soft insides.
1. Windshield Head Bang. Depending on how you stopped the vehicle, you might already be stuck through the windshield. Chomp your jaws and watch the mass exodus. Then free yourself and go after them!
2. Window Pull. Smash out a side window if possible. Grab onto your victim and yank him or her out through the broken glass—the smell of blood will drive you crazy (see “Holding Techniques,” page 80).
3. Roof Punch. Is the car a soft-top convertible? Soft tops are made out of vinyl or canvas and can easily be scratched or bitten through.
4. Back Window. Frequently smashed in the wreck or shot out with bullets, the back window provides the perfect access to the backseat. Once inside, go for their necks.
5. Rip the Damn Doors Off. One of the car’s doors could be damaged from the wreck. Give it a jerk. You can usually terrify the living by ripping doors off anything.
How to Hitch a Ride
Need to go somewhere? Hunting for brains with limited success can take its toll. As breathers are disposed of, brain resources will be depleted and probably won’t be replaced. It’s time for a change of scenery. Hitching a ride on an unsuspecting vehicle might be your meal ticket to new hunting grounds.
During an outbreak, most vehicles will be racing toward refugee camps and other uncontaminated areas, all full of fresh meat. With a little luck, you might snag a one-way ticket to one of these promised lands, with fresh brains as far as the zed can see. Turn the page for a few zombie hitchhiking tips.
When it comes to roof surfing, the bigger the vehicle the better. Delivery vehicles, buses, and semi trucks all have ample room to hang out on top. You can gain access to your ride by crawling up the back or dropping on top from above, but keep quiet so as not to reveal your presence. Continue your journey until you see, smell, or hear a large population of brains. Roll off and go to work.
As the driver stops to raid a convenience store or defecate along the roadside, crawl under the vehicle and find something to hang onto. As soon as the breather is done doing whatever breathers do, he or she will jump back in and drive away. Your body will be subjected to harsh abrasion caused by the road surface, but it’s worth it. Eventually you’ll gain access through a checkpoint. Once inside the safe zone, unleash hell.
Subtlety has never been the zombie’s strong point, so why start now? While you’re certain to be discovered by the next passing motorist, just hang onto the back bumper for as long as you can. You will experience all types of motions that may dislodge your grip, but every mile you make it is one less mile you have to walk. Word of caution: you may lose your shoes.
Trucks, trains, planes, and even ships have cargo bays. Because they are not designed to hold the living, these areas are usually only lightly supervised, perfect for settling right in for the long haul. Position your zed body around or in cargo that will help hide you from the occasional security check until you have arrived. What you do at your final destination is your own damn business, but we suggest terrorizing.
Rides to Avoid
Some vehicles are highly specialized and won’t be used by the common human. Many of these vehicles are heavily built and could be armed with weaponry in support of the human resistance.
Some of our stopping techniques have been found to work on these vehicles, but most efforts will fail. When confronting a tank, armored car, or snow plow, zombie casualties will increase. The good news is, the breathers can’t stay inside forever; eventually these vehicles will need to refuel or replenish supplies, and then we’ve got them.
Carefully review the eye chart on the next page. The vehicle pictured should be approached with extreme caution.
One-Brain Vehicles
Single-brained vehicles are quick and small, making them difficult to catch. Many of them, including ATVs, dirt bikes, and big, red three-wheelers, are designed to handle all types of terrain. While they are superior in maneuverability, they are zed-vulnerable due to their open-cockpit design. Because the riders are exposed, they can easily be snared by a quick grab or projectile vomiting to the face. Sometimes you don’t even need to touch them—use basic scare tactics to distract riders into losing their balance or control, causing them to crash.
Due to the sizes of these vehicles, hitchhiking is not possible.
6. ATTACKING
Using the hunting strategies in the previous chapters, you’ll be able to successfully track down your brainy target. What next? In order to subdue a living body for feasting, you need another plan of action.
Although only a small percentage of the living are prepared for living-on-undead combat, and most will ultimately fall before the zombie horde, that doesn’t mean a battle can’t be dangerous for you, the individual zombie. Humans possess an intense survival instinct, and when panic boosts their adrenaline, they’re capable of desperate feats of strength that can catch even the hardiest zombie off guard. Being slightly more coordinated than you, humans may wield makeshift weaponry and employ nontraditional fighting strategies—expect them to shoot at you, burn you, and impale you with pointy sticks.
Nevertheless, when most zombies attack a human, they prefer to whale away blindly, disregarding any physical damage their target inflicts on them in return. From past zombie experiences, we’ve realized this probably isn’t the best approach. Since our undead bodies don’t heal from injury, self-preservation is very important.