Soldier of Fortune

'Will you be staying in London for long?' she asked at length.

'No, Abigail, I have to ride to Somerset.'

'Are you going to call on relatives?'

'I'll be visiting my father's grave,' he told her. 'It's something I always do when I return to England. I owe him a great debt. It was because of my father that I joined the army.'

'That's your world, isn't it, Daniel?'

'It always will be.'

'I'm sorry that I embarrassed you by stumbling into it.'

'You caused no embarrassment, Abigail,' he said with a forgiving smile, 'and, if anyone should be apologising, it's me. I'm sorry that I was not able to spend more time with you in Germany but, as you saw, I was somewhat preoccupied.'

'I can't believe that I was so reckless,' she said.

He was tactful. 'I think we both profited from the experience.'

'I learnt a lot about myself, Daniel, I know that. And it frightened me more than I can say. I'd never dream of doing anything as selfish and irresponsible as that again.'

'I hope that it wasn't entirely a cause for regret,' he said gently. 'There must have been some happy moments for you.'

'Oh, there were — lots of them. Each one of them is faithfully recorded in my diary.'

'Good.'

'And now they'll be treasured,' she said. 'When I thought that you'd been killed because of me, all that I could do was to grieve and rebuke myself. I didn't have the heart even to open my diary and read about our time together. I was wasting away with anguish. Now that you've come back, now that I've seen you with my own eyes, a huge weight has been lifted from me. I can cherish fond memories again.'

'I'll do the same, Abigail.'

It was the moment for a chaste kiss of farewell but it never came. Abigail was too nervous to invite it and Daniel too afraid that it might be misconstrued. They settled for a polite handshake.

'Will you be returning here from Somerset?' she asked.

'Only to take ship to Holland,' he replied. 'I have to rejoin my regiment. We may have won a mighty battle but the war will continue. The French army will be back again before too long.'

'And Captain Daniel Rawson will be there to fight them.'

'I have to be. It's my vocation.'

'I discovered that when I came to Germany.'

'Your friendship has been a delight to me, and, in a perverse way, I admire you for what you did. It showed courage and madness. Those are the very qualities that drove me into the army so we have an affinity. As you found out, however,' he said with a shrug, 'I can never be more than a friend. You must take me as I am, Abigail.'

'And what is that?'

'A soldier of fortune.'