And everything else disappears.
Except for the feeling that I’m flying.
And free.
And alive.
And that nothing else matters.
FIFTEEN: Laney
Oh sweet Jesus! He did it!
My heart is like a runaway train. His whoop of delight is still echoing in my head as I step onto the rock closest to the edge and look over, holding my breath until I see Jake’s head break the surface away from the white spray.
Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod, I can’t do this!
Blood is rushing behind my ears even louder than the water. My pulse is racing and I feel short of breath.
I look left and right. The mossy bank looks a thousand miles away. Then I look down at Jake’s handsome, laughing face, and so does he.
“Your turn,” he calls up to me as he shakes his head one more time, making his hair stand up in spikes.
“No way,” I reply, feeling a little panicky that I’m up here by myself.
“Come on, Laney. You can do this. Trust me.”
“Trust you? You’re obviously insane. Why should I trust you?”
It seems an inordinately long amount of time passes before he replies. And, even then, I have to strain to hear his low voice.
“Because trusting everyone else has gotten you nowhere. Take a chance for once in your life. Take a chance on me.”
Common sense and self-preservation are locking horns with the lure of Jake and all that he represents as he stares up at me from the churning pool below.
I feel frantic. On edge. Literally and figuratively. But, again, something rises up and takes a dominant position. I don’t take the time to examine it. Or reason with it. Like I’ve wanted to do, I just surrender to it. To freedom. To escape.
To Jake.
Closing my eyes, I bend and pull off my boots and socks. I hear Jake’s holler of delight. “That’s my girl!”
I can’t help but smile.
He really is the devil.
I chuck them as hard as I can toward the shore. They land not far from Jake’s clothes. Swallowing every bit of shy, responsible, fairly chaste Laney, I pull my tank top over my head and throw it at the tree. Then my shorts.
When I’m standing at the top of a huge waterfall, wearing nothing but my underwear, staring down at a guy who takes my breath away, I shred the last little bit of reservation that I have.
Along with my bra and panties.
And then, without another second’s thought or hesitation, I leap.
The chains of who I’ve always been, of who my family is and what’s expected of me, break away as I fly through the air. Dropping, dropping, dropping, everything fades away but for the sound of the water, the feel of the wind, the thrill of the moment, and the man at the bottom.
He’s waiting for me there. All sorts of new and unexplored things are waiting for me there. This is an existential leap, as much as a physical one. There’s no turning back now. I might as well embrace it.
The cool water swallows me up, slowing my descent and stealing the air from my lungs. The muffled sound of churning water swooshes by my ears as the undertow pulls at my legs.
I swim for the surface and don’t stop until I feel the sun on my face.
And I open my eyes to see Jake. He swam to get me, just in case I didn’t come up. Just like he promised.
He’s smiling. And I am, too. All over. Every cell. I can feel it.
I’ve never felt lighter. Happier. More optimistic. And I don’t even know what I’m optimistic about.
He’s laughing when his arms reach around me and drag my body to his. All I can think of is how I want this moment—here, with Jake, feeling like this—to last forever. And there’s only one thing that could make it better, that could cement it in my head and in my heart.
Digging my hands into his hair, I pull Jake’s mouth to mine. His lips are cool and soft, and they taste of the water and the fresh air.
Brazenly, I slip my tongue into his mouth, asking him for things I don’t have the courage to say, offering him things I don’t have the strength to hold on to.
Then he’s kissing me back, his hands roving my back, tugging at my hair. His smooth chest is teasing my nipples, his firm thighs are tangling with mine.
And then I’m weightless again. I don’t even open my eyes to see where Jake is taking me. All I know is that my body is still pressed to his and the world cares only for what’s happening between us right this minute. Nothing else matters.
The grass is soft and cool against my back. Jake’s body is hot and hard as it covers mine. I groan into his mouth and arch against him, a silent plea for more. Just . . . more.
Spreading my legs, I reach around and dig my fingers into Jake’s smooth, hard butt and I pull him toward me, craving him in places that ache with want of him. With a growl, he drags his lips away from mine and kisses a fiery trail down my throat to my breast.
When his mouth closes around my cool nipple, I gasp. The sensation is stronger, deeper. Heightened. The sky swirls behind my eyes. The river rushes behind my ears.
Jake licks and sucks his way from my nipples to my navel, and the earth collapses into a pinpoint of pleasure when I feel him move farther down to settle between my thighs. The first touch of his tongue to my throbbing flesh brings my hips up off the ground. Relentless, he lays his arm across my stomach to hold me still as he mouth plunders my every slick crevice and hidden desire.
Over and over, his tongue sweeps across my most sensitive part, bringing me higher and higher, further and further away from reality. Until, like the waterfall, my climax crashes down over me.
His lips sucking at me, his fingers penetrating me, Jake perpetuates my orgasm until I can barely breathe. My head is spinning with it. My body is drenched with it. The world is alive with it.
“Are you on the pill?” he asks, his voice nothing more than a muffled groan.
I nod in answer, unable to find words in the midst of what he’s doing to my body.
“Do you trust me? I promise you I’m clean.”
Again, I nod. And, truthfully, I do. Or I wouldn’t have jumped off a waterfall and into his arms.
His fingers disappear as Jake shifts his weight. I want to cry at the loss, but then, reality splinters again when he enters me.
He’s so big, stretches me so tight, I cry out. Not in pain, but in the most exquisite pleasure I’ve ever known.
When he starts to move within me, I feel the tension return, stronger than ever and threatening to overwhelm me completely.
“Oh fuuu—” he moans into my ear as he withdraws and plunges into me again. “Oh my God, I never thought it would feel like this,” he says, his voice sounding nearly pained in his passion. “You’re so tight. And so wet.” More excited than I’ve ever been, I’m panting, almost delirious with what is happening between us.
“Jake, don’t stop.”
“I won’t, baby. I’m gonna make you come all over me again and again. I wanna feel you squeeze me. I want you to feel it running down your ass. And then I’m gonna lick you until you come again.” His words are an aphrodisiac, his body the sweetest torture device. Fiercely, he pumps into me, as if he knows I’m close. So, so close . . . “And then, I’m gonna put my cock back in and you’ll come with me. I’ll fill you up, baby. I’ll fill you up with me.”
With one hard, deep thrust, just as his mouth covers mine, it happens again. Wave after wave of it, sweeping me further away from all the things that never really mattered. Right now, this matters. Only this matters.