“Is what a fetish?”
“Luring unsuspecting women to your home and then boiling them.”
“Oh, come on. It’s not that bad, drama queen. Besides, isn’t it worth it to share a hot bath with all this?” I say, curling my fingers in toward myself and giving her my cheesiest, most arrogant smile.
Boldly, she peruses me, which is kind of a turn-on when she lingers on my cock, which is nestled against her hip. “We’ll see. What about you? What’s a hot bath with me worth to a guy like you?”
I reach forward and pull her around and into my arms, her back to my chest, leaving her entire front open to my roaming hands.
“After today? Quite a bit, actually.”
I nuzzle the side of her neck, the scratch of my stubble sending chills down her chest and tightening her nipple. I feel my body jump against her ass where she’s sitting between my legs.
“Re-ally?” she purrs, tilting her head to one side to give me better access to her neck.
“Mmm.”
“Then maybe we can talk a little.”
I feel the sigh swell in my chest, but I hold it in.
Not this again.
“What do you want to know?” I ask after a long pause.
Laney says nothing for several seconds. Instead, she grabs a bar of soap and rolls it between her palms, creating a nice thick lather. She lays the soap aside and starts to wash one arm. I watch her begin at her wrist and make slow circles all the way up her arm to her shoulder. The closer she gets to her chest, to the curve of her breast, the tighter my entire body gets, like a clock winding up.
She’s too innocent to know what she’s doing will drive me crazy. My guess is that it’s the easiest spot to wash first, as nearly everything else is submerged.
That or I’m not giving her nearly enough credit.
“What was it like, growing up on the orchard? What was your family like?”
It’s an innocuous enough question, one that doesn’t overtly stimulate any touchy areas. I don’t mind answering if it keeps her doing what she’s doing.
“Not much different than most childhoods, I’d say. At least not around here. I played outside most of the day, climbed trees in the orchard, sometimes helped pick peaches, skipped rocks at the wide place in the river down by the northern border.”
“What were your parents like?”
“Just like regular parents. We ate meals together. Played games together. Watched television together.”
I’m mesmerized as I watch her soap her chest, her hands inching her way toward her breasts. “And then Jenna came along,” she says, letting her fingers play over the smooth, round globes.
“Yep,” I say almost absently, my eyes glued to her hands.
When she uses her index finger to ring her nipples, my breath hitches in my throat. My balls throb with the sudden need to lift her up and plunge her down on my cock, to watch that perfect ass of hers move up and down as she rides me.
And then she kills off my hard-on with one question, with the one question she’s been sneaking up to.
“Why do you think your father didn’t love you? It sure sounds like he did.”
“Laney, I told you—”
She cuts me off by whirling around in the tub to face me, her hands splayed across my chest and her eyes pleading with me.
“Please, Jake. Please talk to me. I want so much to be okay with this, but it’s . . . it’s just . . . it’s hard. I need to know you. At least a little bit. Just tell me something about your life here. Tell me something. Just a little bit.”
I want to kiss her. And shake her. And walk away. And hold her close. I’ve never been with someone like her, someone who actually tries to be . . . less. Most of the girls I’ve known just are. But not Laney. She’s trying to be casual and easy, jumping into a sexual relationship with someone she barely knows. But it doesn’t come naturally for her. Oddly, as bass-ackwards as it sounds, that makes me respect her all the more.
This time, I do sigh.
“My mother was already sick when she got pregnant with Jenna. She wouldn’t even consider terminating the pregnancy to save her own life. She knew the risks, but she valued Jenna’s life more than her own.” I swallow hard. It’s never easy to think about all this shit, much less talk about it. Which is why I don’t.
Ever.
“Jake, I’m so sor—”
I hold up my hand to cut her off. I can see her sincerity in the big, glistening pools of her eyes. But she wanted it. Now she’s gonna get it. At least part of it. There’s still a part I’ll never share with another living soul.
Ever.
“So when Jenna was born, Dad was busy taking care of her and Mom just kept getting sicker. There was a point where there was nothing else the doctors or medicine could do for her. Other than to just let nature take its course.”
“How old were you when she . . .”
“Eight. I was eight years old when my mother died.”
I lean my head back against the cool ceramic of the tub, closing my eyes against that time in my life. I feel Laney’s lips, light as twin feathers, brush first my mouth then my cheek, my jaw then my chin, before she settles down on top of me. She rests her head on my chest and her right hand over my heart.
I can feel the sympathy and the regret rolling off her in nearly tangible waves. But I don’t want her sympathy. I don’t want anybody’s sympathy. I just want the past to be left alone. It’s already brought me enough pain in life without having to dig it all up again.
My tiny smile is bitter when I think to myself that Laney probably won’t be asking any more questions any time soon.
SEVENTEEN: Laney
I can’t help but smile as I smear cream cheese on a bagel half for Jake. It’s such a domestic thing to do—fix breakfast for the man with whom I share a house and a bed—that it makes me feel happy all the way to the bone. I could see this being my life for a long, long time.
Over the last four weeks, I’ve been bungee jumping with Jake, white water rafting with Jake, cliff diving with Jake, done all sorts of things I never thought I’d ever do, and as much fun as it’s been, some part of me still craves this—a home and a family. Mundane activities like making breakfast for the people I love.
As always when I think about my feelings for Jake, I feel the frown pucker my brow. I know he cares about me, and I care about him. Do I love him? I don’t know. Whatever it is I feel for him, it’s fierce. And passionate. And deep. It’s different than the way I felt about Shane. A lot different. The thing is, I don’t want to be in love with Jake. He’s made it perfectly clear that he’s not in it for love. He just wants to have some fun.
And we do. We have a lot of fun.
He loves my body. I know that for sure. We have some of the most amazing sex I’ve ever had. Better than anything I even thought could be experienced. So there’s that. But it’s not enough.
Sometimes, when I catch him staring at me or when I fall asleep on his chest while watching television on the couch and I wake to find him watching me or rubbing my cheek, I’ll think to myself that he must love me. But I’m not crazy enough to believe that actually means it’s so.
But do I want it to be?
Yes, I think I do. Despite it all—the unsavory reputation, the bad-boy ways, the thrill-seeking streak, the aversion to relationships—I still want him to be all mine.
But I don’t know if a guy like Jake will ever be all anybody’s.
And time is running out for me to try to win him over. I’ve already put in for two extensions with work. Another couple of weeks are all I’ll be able to get before I have to turn in my reports and leave the account with my boss.