“Hell, yes.” He turned off the car, and pulled the key from the ignition. “You were right. Working that place is exhausting.”
I smiled. “Only on no sleep. Otherwise it can be fun. Come on in.”
Bleary-eyed, we stumbled into my house, managed to get up the stairs, and tumbled across my bed sideways, me on my stomach and Miles on his back, our legs hanging off the side. We didn’t even take off our shoes, didn’t say another word, didn’t move for hours, waking only when my phone rang. I heard it, but it sounded far away, like it was in a dream. Eventually I realized what it was and reached into my purse, which rested near my head. The screen said Skylar.
“Hello?” I croaked.
“Hey, where are you?”
“I’m home.” I wiped drool from my mouth and frowned at the wet spot on my comforter. “Why?”
“Dinner at Mom and Dad’s, remember?”
“Oh crap. No, I didn’t.”
“Well, come over. We’re waiting for you.”
I thought about making an excuse and turning her down. What could I say? My mind was a dead zone, and all I could do was whine. “But I’m tiiiired.”
“Come on, Mom’s grilling Italian sausage.” She laughed. “And you need some sausage.”
“Hahaha.”
Miles opened his eyes, rubbed his face with one hand, and looked over at me. “Did someone say sausage?”
Ten minutes later, we were on our way to my parents’ house.
“Do not say anything to them about anything,” I warned. “Not Dan, not us, not anything.”
“Why? Are you ashamed of me?” Miles feigned offense, putting a hand on his chest. “I’m hurt by this, Natalie. You want to hide our love.”
I rolled my eyes. “Look, I’m sure this is all fun for you, but breaking up with Dan is a big deal for me. I’m not ready to announce it yet.”
He went quiet for a moment. “Is it because you’re not ready to face it yet?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.” I glanced over at him. “Is that OK?”
“It’s fine.” He put his hand on my thigh, which was bare since I’d changed from my work shorts into a short white skirt I’d paired with a soft gray t-shirt. “I think the guy was an ass, but you loved him for a lot of years. I’m sure that doesn’t just turn off overnight because you’re mad. No one would ever stay married if that were the case, not that many people stay married, anyway.”
“Right.” Sighing, I rolled down my window and closed my eyes, letting the wind hit my face. I was mad, not as mad as I’d been last night, but still. Dan should have been honest with me from the start about feeling trapped. But then again, wasn’t he right about me needing time apart too? Hadn’t I felt relief when I realized I could run straight to Miles and not feel guilty about it? What did that say about me?
“Stop thinking so hard.” Miles rubbed his hand on my leg.
“I can’t help it. I was totally shocked and hurt when he said he’d cheated and wanted time apart, but look how quickly I jumped into bed with you.” I twisted my hands together in my lap. “Am I a bad person?”
“No. Jesus Christ, Natalie.” He shook his head. “You’re a great person. And you were totally faithful to him for ten fucking years. You jumped into bed with me because A, let’s face it, who wouldn’t? And B, we’ve always wondered what it would be like. At least I have.”
“I have too,” I admitted. And it exceeded all my expectations. I didn’t even know sex that good was possible.
“That doesn’t make us bad people, it makes us two consenting adults who had fun together. You didn’t cheat on anybody, you didn’t hurt anybody, and the world did not explode because you had someone else’s dick in you.”
“Felt like it did.”
One side of his mouth hooked up. “Good.”
We stopped at the wine store because Miles didn’t want to show up empty-handed to dinner, and he lectured me while I perused the selection.
“You’re way too serious for being so young. You always have been. The rest of us have been fucking up our lives and having a damn good time doing it for years. Now it’s your turn.”
“To do what? Fuck up my life? I’ll pass, thanks.”
“No, just…treat yourself. Go a little crazy. All that mature, responsible behavior cannot be good for your mental health.”
I looked at him over my shoulder. “And I suppose going a little crazy involves a trip to Detroit and lots of sex with you?”
He put his hands out toward me, palms up. “I am totally willing to sacrifice my time and virtue to help you reclaim your lost youth.”
I gave him the frowny face. “I’ll think about it.”
After I chose two bottles, a red from the winery Skylar worked at and a white from another local vineyard, we headed up the peninsula highway. It was sunny and warm, the perfect summer evening.
“What a pretty day,” I sighed.
“It is pretty up here. Think you’ll always live in this area?” Miles asked as he pulled up in his driveway.
“Well, considering I own a business here, my family is here, and I just bought a house, I suppose I’ll say yes.” We got out of the Jeep and started to walk over to my parents’ place. “What about you? You like Detroit?”
He shrugged. “Yeah. I like anywhere for a while. But I’ll probably move again eventually. I don’t like to stay in one place too long.”
It was a good reminder that whatever there was between us was temporary, all in fun, but something in my chest ached a little when he said it. Don’t get carried away with this, I warned myself. And definitely don’t get attached. As fun as it is to mess around with Miles, he’ll be gone in a few days and you’ll still be here like always.
But at least being with Miles had reminded me of what good chemistry feels like. That hum in the air, that flutter in the chest, that pull deep in the belly.
I wanted those things. I deserved them, didn’t I?
“You OK?” Miles whispered as we approached the back deck where my family was gathered, “I see those wheels spinning.”
I took a deep breath. “Yeah. Just thinking.”
“Stop that. No thinking allowed.”
“Hey, everybody,” I called as we climbed the few steps to the deck. “Brought a friend. Hope that’s OK.”
“Miles!” My mother flew over to give him a hug and kiss. “I saw the car in the driveway yesterday and wondered who was in town. How are you, dear? Is your mother up too?”
“I’m great, Mrs. Nixon. No, she’s in California this month. I’m here by myself, so thanks for letting me crash Sunday dinner.”
“You’re always welcome, honey.” She patted his cheek. “So handsome.”
I rolled my eyes and took the brown paper bag from Miles’s arm. “We brought a couple bottles of wine.”
“Great. There’s one open on the table, too. Help yourself. Is Dan coming?” My mother looked at me quizzically.
“Uh, no. He had some things to do.”
“Oh.” She looked satisfied with that. “Well, Miles can sit at his place then. I already set the table.”
“Perfect.”
My dad came over and shook Miles’s hand, my sisters both gave him a hug, Skylar sending me an impish grin over his shoulder, and then I introduced him to Sebastian.
We poured some wine and sat chatting on the deck a few minutes, and when my mother called us in to eat, Miles pulled out my chair and sat me before taking his place on my right.
Skylar kicked me from the left.
She kicked me again when Miles raved about my coffee shop, telling everyone how he’d helped out there today and had a new appreciation for running a place like that.
“My shin is going to be black and blue! Will you knock it off?” I whispered in her ear.
But she kicked me a third time when he praised my photography skills, again when he complimented my baking, and yet again when he boasted that he’d gotten me to agree to a few days off.
“Wow,” laughed my dad. “I didn’t think Natalie was familiar with the concept of ‘days off’ during the summer. How’d you convince her?”