“God, I love you,” Miles said, kissing my head. “I fucking love you so much. Now I get it.”
“Get what?” I pressed my lips to his collarbone, breathed in his scent.
“Being in love. Why people like it. When I first realized I was in love with you, I felt sick. I thought I was having a heart attack. It was terrible.”
I had to laugh as I wiped away the tears. “And now that you know I love you back?”
“It’s the best high I’ve ever felt, the most intense. Now I get why people want to live together and take care of each other and get married and have kids. It’s this feeling.”
Shocked, I propped my head in my hand and looked at him. “You even get having kids?”
“Yes.” He looked as amazed as I felt. “I look at you, and I love you so much I want to do something about it, but nothing is big enough, nothing is good enough, nothing is extreme enough.”
I smiled wryly. “Having a baby is pretty extreme.”
“Yes. It is.” His hand moved between us, and he brushed the back of his fingers against my stomach, making me shiver. “And I know we didn’t plan on it. But I want this, Natalie. I didn’t even know how much until right now. I want to have this baby with you. I want us to have something with each other that we don’t have with anyone else. I want us to be a family. In fact, if you weren’t pregnant right now, I’d keep you right here in this room and fuck you until you were. That’s how bad I want this baby.”
I burst out laughing and rolled onto my back. “You’re insane. This whole thing is insane. Are we really doing this?”
“We are.” He moved down and kissed my stomach. “Hi in there. I hope I didn’t wake you up with all that pounding.”
I played with his hair. “He’ll get used to it.”
He looked up at me and blinked. “You think it’s a boy?”
“No idea, babe. Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry.” He laid his cheek on my belly. “I’ll be happy either way, boy or girl. Hey, I think I feel it moving.”
I laughed. “You don’t. Not yet. A few more months on that.”
He grinned, his eyes wide like he couldn’t believe it. “This is so fucking amazing, Natalie.”
“You’re going to be a great dad, Miles.” And he was, I could feel it. That playful, wide-eyed side of him that found so much joy in the world, found something to be happy about every day, found pleasure in little things like cinnamon buns and big things like love and family—that’s what would make him a good father. My throat got tight as I realized how lucky I was.
“Thanks.” Kissing my stomach once more, he sat up and reached for his glasses. “So should we go tell your dad that I knocked you up?”
“Um, no. We will not be saying it like that.”
“Why not? I’m planning to make an honest woman out of you.”
I picked up a pillow and clubbed him with it.
“Hey.” He took the pillow from me. “At least now I can admit it was me who threw that baseball and cracked your mom’s kitchen window that time. That will no longer be the worst thing I’ve ever done in their eyes.”
I sat up. “You know, you don’t have to come with me if it’s too awkward. I can tell them myself.”
He jumped off the bed and started pulling on his pants. “No. You’re not doing this alone. And I know you don’t want to hear me say this is the right thing to do, but fuck you, it is, and I’m going.”
Smiling, I watched him pull his shirt over his head. “OK, OK. You can come. We’ll do it together.”
Twenty minutes later, we walked across the lawn toward my parents’ house hand in hand. My stomach was a little jumpy, but all in all I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I’d be. My parents would be surprised, but they loved Miles, and I knew they’d be happy for us and thrilled to have their first grandchild on the way.
“Hey.” I squeezed his hand. “You know what I just realized? I gave you a first!”
“You sure did. Many of them. And you know what I just realized?” He tugged me in front of him, wrapped his arms around me from behind, and whispered in my ear. “You’ll give me all my lasts too.”
“They’re ready for you, Skylar.”
At the sound of Mia’s voice, we turned to see her standing in the doorway, a smile on her face. Jillian and I were upstairs at the winery in what Mia called The Bride’s Room, which had a couple sofas and chairs, several full-length mirrors, and plenty of natural light streaming through the windows.
“OK.” Skylar took a deep breath and looked in the mirror one last time. “This is it. Am I good?”
“You’re absolutely stunning.” My voice hitched as I said it, and for the millionth time, I wondered when this pregnancy would stop making me so emotional. I cried at everything these days! Although seeing our middle sister in her wedding gown and veil, holding her bouquet, in the moments before she married the love of her life, even had Jillian near tears.
“You are,” she echoed, sniffing. “No one will be able to take their eyes off you.”
“The only eyes I care about are Sebastian’s.” Skylar’s smile was bright and her eyes clear as she picked up the bottom of her frothy white dress with one hand. “And I can’t wait to see them, so let’s do this thing.”
Sebastian’s two young nieces were serving as flower girls, and they were already giggling at the top of the steps, waiting to be told they could go down. When Mia gave them the nod, they took off, bounding down the stairs in a fit of excited laughter. “Here, let me take your flowers so you can hold your dress up as we go down,” she said to Skylar.
Skylar handed them over and used both hands to ensure she didn’t step on the bottom layers of tulle. She’d chosen a strapless tiered lace dress with a mermaid shape that showed off her hourglass figure, and wore her hair in a loosely braided mass of curls pinned to one side. Her veil floated behind her, and Jillian handed me her flowers so she could pick up the lace-edged tulle and make sure it didn’t catch on anything.
I was last coming down the stairs, carefully keeping my eyes on my feet. The last few weeks, I’d been a little dizzy, but other than that and the out-of-control emotions, pregnancy was treating me pretty well. I was about fourteen weeks along now and just barely starting to pop. My dress, also floor-length tiered lace in a dusty lavender, had a wide eggplant-colored sash that probably emphasized the fact that I no longer had a waist, but at least I could breathe in it. It looked much better on Jillian, whose slender frame was perfect for its slightly vintage look.
As we neared the bottom of the steps, I saw our father waiting and heard music from the string quartet playing outside. My heart beat quicker.
“Hey, Dad.” Skylar held up a hand and he high-fived her. “Ready to do this?”
“I sure am.” He smiled at Jillian and me, offering me a hand as I neared the bottom step. “You feeling OK?”
“Yes. Promise.”
As I’d expected, my parents had been shocked but not unhappy about my pregnancy and engagement, and once they’d had a few days to let it sink in and see Miles and me together, they’d both taken me aside and said how happy they were for me. Although we were living in my house for now, they were hoping we’d move into the Haas vacation home so they could see the baby whenever they wanted. Neither of them seemed bothered by the fact that we weren’t planning to be married before the baby was born, and my mother was already talking about a shower. Miles and I often remarked how lucky I was to have the parents I did. His parents seemed happy for us, if a bit unsettled by the news that Miles was getting married and making them into grandparents, but they still hadn’t come to visit.
“This way, please.” Mia led us over to some large glass doors leading to the terrace and we peeked out over the flower girls’ heads. Rows of chairs had been set up and an aisle created on the stone patio, with everyone facing away from the building. The terrace was strewn with soft pink rose petals, and strands of lights were strung above it, looping from the building to the surrounding trees.