Swallowing hard, I look up to meet his desperate eyes. I almost feel sorry for him, but not enough to lie and tell him that I want him more than I do Alex. “I don’t really know what to say right now, Lucas. I’m pretty pissed and just want to go home.”
“I’m leaving in the morning, Tripp. The bank wants to fly me out to New York to see how I do running one of the biggest branches that they have. I’ll be gone for a week. I think when I get back that we should discuss making us exclusive. It’s been long enough, and I’m ready to make you mine.”
What the fuck . . .
“In a week, Lucas? One week . . . as in seven days?” I swallow hard and fight to catch my breath. I don’t know if a week is long enough. I feel as if I’m suffocating at just the thought of being serious with Lucas. That’s definitely not a good sign. “I don’t know . . .”
“A week is plenty of time, Tripp. It’s been almost a year. I really don’t want to wait anymore. I can’t. Those other girls have nothing compared to you. You wanted us to keep it light and fun . . . so that’s what I’ve been doing. After next week I’m done with that shit.”
I reach out for Lucas’ keys as he dangles them in front of me. “Sorry for being an ass. I’ll let you drive us home.”
I squeeze Lucas’ keys in my hand as he leaves me alone to say goodbye to his friends. Normally I would say my goodbyes too, but tonight I just can’t seem to bring myself to, so instead, I jump into the driver’s seat of Lucas’ vehicle and wait for him. All I really want to do right now is go home and crawl into the warmth of my cozy bed. No more thinking . . .
WHEN WE GOT BACK TO the house Lucas tried talking me into sleeping in his bed, but that’s the last thing I can force myself to do right now. Then he tried to talk me into just a quickie, which I declined as well. Lucas just needs to sleep his stupidity off and get ready for his early morning flight.
The sounds of Alex in the pool cause me to pause in the kitchen and listen for a minute. It’s taking everything in me not to go into that room, knowing damn well that Alex is most likely swimming naked. I don’t know what it is with him and naked swimming, but it’s extremely hot. I hate that it’s such a temptation.
Wondering if he ate the dinner I left him, I open the microwave to see that the plate of Steak and fried potatoes are gone. I smile to myself, knowing that it’s one of Alex’s favorite meals and that he gets extremely happy every time that I make it for him. It gives me a sense of pride.
Making my way up the stairs, I strip down to a silky camisole and my panties, before crawling into the bed and turning off the bedside lamp.
I can’t help but to toss and turn, while listening for Alex to come up to his room. Just knowing that he’s close by will help me fall asleep. It always has.
Not even forty minutes later, once I’m close to finally drifting off to never-never land, I feel the bed beside me dip and the mouthwatering scent of Alex fills the air as he slips in next to me, then pulls me into his cold, slightly wet arms and holds me like he’s been doing since we were kids . . .
Except now . . . it feels so much different.
Seven years ago . . .
I SIT UP IN BED to the sound of someone slowly raising my bedroom window. My heart swells, knowing that it’s Alex sneaking in once again. I’m starting to look forward to this very sound and I’ve been finding myself watching and waiting for it more often these days.
My heart speeds up with anticipation as he climbs inside and shuts the window behind him, trying to be quiet enough so that he doesn’t wake Tara up.
“Alex . . .” It’s dark, so I can’t really make anything out except for the dark figure coming at me, dressed in a hoodie. The hood covers his face and his body appears to be shaking. He seems to be taking his time walking toward me, as if he doesn’t want me to see him. “What’s going on? Alex?” I start to panic as he gets closer and I can finally make out the sounds of his heavy breathing.
Placing a finger to his mouth, he shushes me and crawls into bed beside me, slipping under the blankets and getting comfortable. “Go back to sleep, Tripp. It’s late.”
“What time is it?” I ask while sitting up on my knees and reaching to pull his hood down. The sight of his bloodied, swollen face in the moonlight causes me to gasp and reach out to comfort him. My hands cup his face, being careful not to hurt him even more. His right eye is so fat that he can’t even open it. “Oh my God, Alex! Are you okay? Please tell me that you’re okay. Let me take care of you,” I cry out. I can’t help but to cry whenever I see him hurt like this. It kills me so damn much, knowing what his father puts him through, and what he does to him.
Alex is my best friend. He means everything to me. I feel his pain as if it were mine. “I hate him, Alex. I hate him so damn much. Why does he have to do this to you? Why? Please leave there and stay here. I can ask Tara . . .”
“I’m fine, Firecracker. I’m going to be fine.” He gently reaches for my hands and pulls them away from his face, placing a gentle kiss to each one. “This is becoming routine for me. It gives me a reason to sneak out and sleep in your bed. You’re my something for the pain,” he says with a painful laugh. “Now lay down so I can hold you and fall asleep. I’m tired as hell and you have to get up early, babe.”
Knowing that Alex will refuse to talk about his father and what happened tonight, I pry my eyes away from his achingly beautiful face and lay down beside him, shifting to my side. I scoot in as close to him as possible, and then squeeze his arms until my nails are digging into his skin through his hoodie. In this moment I just want to be as close to him as possible. I want him to know that someone does love him. His father may not give a shit anymore, but I sure as hell do.
I hate this so much. It’s becoming more and more frequent for his father to hurt him. I’m starting to worry that if no one stops him he may end up killing him, and there’s no way that I can live without Alex. He thinks that I keep the pain away, but he’s wrong . . . he’s always been my something for the pain, not the other way around.
I can hear him struggling to breathe as he rests his head above mine and pulls me in closer. It’s ripping me apart from the inside out. Every single part of me hurts for him, as well as the thought of ever losing him.
Please don’t take him from me . . .
HOLDING TRIPP AS TIGHTLY AS I can, I try to get comfortable without hurting myself too much. I hate letting Tripp see me hurting, but I can’t stop myself from coming here to be with her after every fight. Being with her just numbs the pain and makes me believe that things will get better.
With my mother close to dying and my brother always out on the streets fighting, Tripp is the closest comfort that I have. My father has become a crazed lunatic that I can’t even look in the face anymore. He’s dead to me now; a total piece of shit that isn’t strong enough to take care of his family. He’s not a real man. A real man fights to his death to keep his family together, but he’s doing everything he can to rip us apart. I’m only sticking around for my mother and Memphis. If it weren’t for them I’d be long gone by now. Well, maybe . . .
I look down at Tripp in my arms and then I realize that isn’t true. I’m stuck here. She will always keep me here. She’ll always be my reason to come back. She’s so fucking precious to me.