That asshole will be the one touching her, tasting her, and sleeping next to her at night. Not me. Not fucking me.
“Fucking shit!”
Stopping, I grip my sweaty hair and stand here for a moment, hating myself. I let this happen. I’m the one that kissed Tripp in the first place and talked her into thinking that everything would be okay. I’m the one that wanted to make love to her in front of Lucas to show him how she should be treated. It’s my fault that things may never be the same between us. I was weak. She makes me weak, even though I’ve fought hard to be nothing but strong for her over the years.
Leaning over I grip my knees and fight to catch my breath. I need to do something. The question is. . . . What the fuck am I supposed to do? I’ve fallen so deep that I may not have any other choice but to pull her under with me.
I start running again, fast and hard. I run for what feels like forever; my body aching, my lungs about to explode, and my heart fucking hurting for Tripp.
Two hours later I’m standing outside the back of our house, letting myself in through the gate. I’m surprised when I see Tripp sitting next to the pool in her panties and a tank top. I instantly get hard, and hate myself for not being able to fight it.
“Hi,” she says as I close the gate behind me. “You look exhausted.”
“I should still be out there, honestly.” Yanking my shirt off, I run it over my face and head, wiping away the sweat that is pouring down my body. I see her eyes taking in my flexing muscles, working their way down to my erection, and it does nothing to rid my dirty thoughts of her. “You’re awake,” I say, in hopes to keep my dirty mouth in check. “It’s early.”
She inhales and starts splashing her feet in the water. I hate seeing her look stressed, and I hate it even more that I might be the cause of it. “Yeah, Lucas sent me a text and woke me up. I noticed that you were gone and couldn’t go back to sleep. I needed some fresh air.”
I hate knowing that she was talking to Lucas this morning, and a part of me wants to know if she misses him. I probably shouldn’t ask, but . . .
“Do you miss him, Tripp?”
Her face looks pained when her eyes meet mine, but she quickly shakes it off and goes back to splashing her legs in the water, going deeper this time. It’s as if she wants to avoid my question. “I don’t know . . .”
I swallow hard and take a seat beside her, dipping my legs into the water and wrapping them around hers, capturing them. “I don’t think you do,” I say honestly. I pull her closer to me and push her hair behind her shoulder, letting my eyes take in her beauty. All I can think about is biting that sexy neck and then soothing it with my tongue. Control Alex. Fucking control. “I think we both know that you two don’t belong together. I think you’re just settling and I fucking hate it. He’s an idiot and you can do way better.” So much for control . . .
“Alex . . .” She pulls her legs out of mine and jumps to her feet. I hate the look on her face as she looks down at me. She’s questioning me with her eyes, pleading with me not to go there. It’s a look I don’t see often from her. “I really don’t want to talk about this again. You guys used to be really close. I don’t get what changed that.”
“You,” I admit. “My protectiveness over you won over all the other bullshit of being his friend. You’ve been my top priority since day one, and your happiness is at the top of my every day fucking list, dammit.”
I stand up and pull her in for a hug, showing her I’m fucking sorry and I’m an idiot, when her eyes begin to glisten. “The last thing I ever want to do is make you cry, babe.” I press my lips to the top of her head and rock her back and forth in my arms, comforting her. “I’m sorry. I’m here for you no matter what. Never forget that. That’s all I’m trying to say. I’m trying to look out for you. I need to look out for you. It’s how I survive.”
“I know . . . I don’t . . .” She stops talking and squeezes me tighter as if she can’t get close enough. Her sweet smell overwhelms me, causing me to bury my face into her neck, wanting more. “I’m just having a hard time right now.”
“Me too, baby. Me too.” Pulling away, I grab her chin and force a smile. “Take the day off. Let’s both call in. I want to spend the day with you and see you smile. You need to smile.”
There’s no hesitation when she agrees to take the day off, and it makes my heart jump with joy. The old Tripp would never say no to an Alex and Tripp day. We need this more than we both know. “Where are we going?”
I tangle both of my hands into the back of her hair and massage. “Will you go see my mother with me? I just want to sit there like old times, in silence, just remembering all the good times. You’re the only one that seems to soothe my pain when there and it’s been a while since I’ve gone.”
Her voice is thick with emotion when she responds. “Of course, Alex. I miss her too.” She squeezes my hand and smiles. “I’m going to take a quick shower. Meet me by your truck in twenty?” She backs away with the cutest grin I’ve ever fucking seen. I love this girl.
“My truck in twenty.” I flash my dimples and laugh as I watch her walk toward the door. “You know me well, Firecracker.”
She stops and peers over her right shoulder. “I do. Never forget that.” She winks and my dick twitches.
Seriously . . . just like that. Just like fucking that.
Just like always, when I walk outside twenty minutes later, fresh out of the shower, she’s standing beside my truck looking painfully beautiful. She’s wearing one of my favorite dresses today. The material is red, thin, and skin tight. It takes everything in me not to run my hands all over her stunning body and tell her that I want her for myself . . . to myself.
“You look hot.” I lift my brows, making her burst into laughter as I check her out. “What? You do. That’s my favorite dress on you. I’ve never denied it. You’re definitely my firecracker now.”
“Alright, stud.” She tries to hide her face, but I still manage to see her face turn just about as red as that damn dress. I love that I can make her feel that good. She deserves to blush at least once every day, and I know for a fact that Lucas can’t do that for her. “Let’s go. Memphis and Lyric are meeting us there. They don’t have much time before work.”
My heart squeezes at the mention of her inviting my brother and Lyric. The things this woman does are so damn incredible, and she doesn’t even have to try. It just comes naturally.
I smile at her, silently showing my appreciation before helping her into my truck.
When we arrive at the cemetery, Memphis and Lyric are already parked. Looking through the windshield for them, I spot them both sitting in the grass about fifteen feet away.
“Oh good.” Tripp smiles and reaches over to squeeze my hand. “The whole family is here now. It’s been too long since we’ve done this.”
Tripp lets go of my hand and hops out of the truck. She looks back at me, but I give her the okay to go. I just need a small moment to myself. Seeing my mother’s name etched across the tombstone never gets any easier. Not one fucking bit.
Lizzy Carter
Loving Mother and fighter till the end.
You shall never be forgotten
Those words have haunted me for six years now.
Clenching my jaw to keep the tears at bay, I run my hands over my face and lean into the steering wheel. “Be strong for her. That’s all she’s ever wanted.”