"The other one's a real clown," Smiley sez, gettin' back to the subject. "It's only one guy, and he's dressed all in black, complete with a mask and a cape. What he does is pop up in the road ahead of the squad, waving a sword around and demanding that they surrender up the money and move on or suffer his wrath." "Suffer his wrath?" I sez.
"That's what he says." Smiley nods. "Word for word. I couldn't make us something like that."
"Wait a minute," Spyder sez. "You're saying that an entire squad backs down from one guy with a sword?"
"It's a bit more than that," Smiley sez, sternly. "The guy in black does all the talking, but he's got a backup with him as well. Any time we've seen this joker, there's another guy standing in the background. He's a big guy, almost as big as you, Swatter. More important, he's got a crossbow, a custom job, trained on the squad and makes it real apparent that anyone who doesn't go along with the gag isn't going to make it back to the barracks."
"But there's only one shot in a crossbow, compared to how many in a squad?" Spyder sez.
"Uh-huh," Smiley sez. "The problem is, no one is particularly eager to be on the receiving end of that one shot. Also, remember that we're under orders not to fight with the civilians."
"That's convenient," Spyder mutters.
"Tell me more about that custom crossbow," I sez before Smiley can go after Spyder.
"That's easy," Smiley sez. "Without looking at them close up or actually handling them, I'd say it's almost identical to that mini crossbow you were waving at the boys when I came in."
Now to say that I found that tidbit of information particularly intriguin' would be more than a little understa-tin'. You see, both Nunzio and myself get our crossbows exclusively from a guy named lolo, who is the finest crossbow maker I've met. While I've heard he does some work for Renaissance Fair people and some of the Medieval recreation types, the bulk of his production is bought up by people like us, which is to say those associated with or connected to the Mob.
"Could you give us some specific information as to where each of these two groups is workin'?" I sez, chan-gin' the subject.
"I can do better than that," Smiley sez, finishin' his drink and gettin' to his feet. "I've got some maps in my tent. Come along and I'll show you, and maybe buy you a drink."
· · ·
As our intrepid band of investigators leave the Tiki Lounge, let us linger for a moment to witness what occurs immediately upon their departure ...
For several long moments after the investigators leave with the sergeant, the group of civilians who were sitting unnoticed at the corner table remain motionless and silent.
Finally, one of them speaks.
"It's all clear now, Bee. They've gone now."
The air shimmers around three of the assemblage, then subsides, leaving their appearance changed, but still unremarkable.
"That was close," says one rather muscular fellow.
"You can say that again, Hy," says the man next to him, their appearance marking them as brothers if not twins. "Nice work with the spell, Bee. But I do wish you had told us that the Swatter was on the other side of this little caper."
"I didn't know myself," Bee protests, drawing himself up to his full insignificant height. "I was told we only had to dodge the Army, and last thing I heard, he and Nunzio had resigned."
"Whatever," Shu says, giving his brother an elbow in the ribs. "Now that we know, maybe we should rethink this whole thing."
"Wait a minute," Storm says, leaning into the conversation. "What's going on here? Why are you guys so spooked all of a sudden? Who was that goon, anyway?"
"That was the Swatter," Hyram Flie says. "Or Guido, to use his real name. He and his cousin Nunzio were in Basic Training with us back when we first enlisted. In fact, he was our squad leader."
"To say he's a heavy hitter would be an understatement," supplied his brother Shubert. "He took both of us to one side and gave us a lesson in manners the first day we were in."
"He's also deadly with that crossbow," Bee says. "He helped me qualify, which was a good thing or else I'd probably still be in Basic."
"So he was better than the other raw recruits," says Egor. "So what? You all got better with training, didn't you?"
"You don't understand," says Hy, shaking his head. "He and Nunzio were better when they first signed on than any of us will ever be."
"That sergeant he was talking to?" Shu says. "Well, he was our Drill Instructor. He got into it one time with Guido, and the Swatter took out both him and his corporal without even raising a sweat."
"Wait a minute," says Egor. "I thought the Army had rules against that kind of thing. Didn't he get into trouble?"
"They called it a training accident," says Hy with a grimace. "As a matter of fact, he got a promotion out of it."
"Did you see who he had with him?" Bee says. "Wasn't that Spyder?"
"If it was, she's changed her look," says Hy.
"Unless they were using a disguise spell for some reason," says Shu.
"Spyder?" says Storm.
"Another one from our old squad," says Hy. "Pound for pound, one of the nastiest scrappers I've run into. Mean as a snake and twice as fast."
"Yeah. That was a heck of a punch she used to flatten her admirer when they first came in," Egor says shaking his head.
"I think you're watching the wrong hand there," Red Blade says, speaking up for the first time. "How about the babe that took out four of them without blinking?"
"Another one of your old playmates?" says Storm.
"Never saw her before," says Hy.
"Good," says Storm. "I was starting to think we were in the middle of a reunion here."
"Even without seeing her in action," says Shu, "if she's hanging with Guido, she's probably a top-notch professional. I sure shouldn't want to go up against her."
"Which brings us back to our original point," says Hy. "Now that we've know that the Swatter and friends are in the game, do we stick around or head for the hills?"
"But you can't leave!" Red Blade says. "You agreed to help us!"
"We agreed to sit in on this conclave, mostly because it sounded like a good way for a couple of soldiers on leave to meet some girls," Hy says. "I don't remember agreeing to lock horns with acouple heavyweight widow-makers. That's not a party. That's suicide."
"Boys, boys," Storm says, holding up her hands. "Nothing's changed just because there are a couple extra hitters wandering around. Remember the whole idea of this plan is that we don't directly go up against anybody. They're looking for whoever is hassling the tax collectors, and that isn't us. Now let's have a couple drinks and talk about this calmly."
"Drinks are good," Bee says. "Okay. Who's having what?"
"Same as the last time," Shu says, glancing at his brother.
"Blood! Blood and raw meat!" says the elf from his corner.
"I told you before, they don't serve that stuff here," Hy growls. "Where did you find this guy, anyway, Storm?"
"Ordered him from the Complete Elfquest Catalog," Storm says. "Cut him some slack. He doesn't come cheap."
"I still want to know where you're going to find a dwarf," says PeeWee. "Right now, I'm the shortest one in the whole crew."
There was a tactful moment of silence from the rest of the fellowship.
"And, of course, another Volcano," Bee says wearily. Truth to tell, that was the reason they were using the Tiki Lounge as their base of operation. Despite extensive research and inquiries, the only volcano they had been able to find in the entire kingdom of Possiltum, even with its expanded borders, was the specialty drink that was served here during Happy Hour.
They waited for their drinks to arrive; then, with great ceremony and solemnity unwrapped their prized ring, complete with severed finger, and dropped it into the flaming drink.