"Is something bothering you, Guido?" Pookie sez, cockin' her head at me. "You've been acting kind of tense and irritable lately."
"Maybe it's because, for all our disguises and round about walkin'," I sez, "I get the feelin' that we're not takin' this guy nearly seriously enough."
"Oh, c'mon, Guido," Spyder sez. "A clown running around in a costume complete with a mask and cape? Against the three of us? What's to worry about other that finding him in the first place?"
"Take it easy, little sister," Pookie sez. "Guido knows his business, and if he's worried I think we should listen. Okay, Guido... Talk to us. What are you seeing that we're missing in all this?"
"Aside from the basic premise that the most dangerous thing you can do is to underestimate your opponent," I sez, "there are the particulars in this situation. For example. Give me a description of the guy we're after."
The two of them look at each other, each waiting for the other to speak.
"Uh-huh," I sez. "He is, and I quote, 'a guy in a black costume with a mask and a cape.' End quote. Beyond that, we don't know anything about his height, build, or age, much less how much education shows in his speech patterns. He could have been sittin' at the next table when we stopped for lunch and we'd never know it."
"I see your point," Pookie sez, thoughtfully.
"It's an old trick," I sez with a shrug. "Wear something noticeable that people will remember when you work, and chances are that's all they'll remember. Take it off, and you fade into the crowd again."
"So you're saying that this guy might be smarter than we've been giving him credit for?" Pookie sez.
"Either that, or he's got someone advisin' him that know what he's doin'," I sez. "And that brings me to another particular. The one I'm watchin' for, the one that has me really worried, is the guy standin' back and cov-erin' him with a crossbow."
"How so?" sez Pookie.
"You might have missed it, but, accordin' to Sergeant Smiley, that individual is packin' a crossbow not unlike my own."
"That's important?"
"Pookie," I sez, "have you taken a look at my crossbow?"
"Not really," she sez. "I mean, I've seen it. But it's just a crossbow."
"I keep forgettin' that you spend most of your time on Perv or Deva or some of those other hi-tech dimensions," I sez.
"Yeah. So?"
"So allow me to advance your education in the area of the low-tech weaponry you seem to eschew."
With that, I remove my mini-crossbow from my belt, remove the quarrel, release the tension on the bow, and toss it to her gently.
She catches it one handed, then turns so that she'll have more light on it as she examines it. Her casual glance turns into a close stare, and her lips purse in a silent whistle.
"This is nice ... very nice work," she sez.
"You don't know the half of it," I sez. "Try a snap shot. Don't aim, just instinct point."
She takes it in her right hand in a shooter's grip, spins, and levels it hip-high, focusin' on an imaginary target.
"Wow!" she sez in an awestruck voice. "That's balanced beautifully."
"Can I hold it?" Spyder sez.
After she gets the nod from me, Pookie passes it to her.
'That's a custom-made crossbow by Iolo," I sez. "It's the best I've seen in any dimension."
"Too bad he doesn't make one with a double bow that can give you two shots," Pookie sez, thoughtfully.
"He can do it," I sez, "but he doesn't like to. Talked me out of it when I asked."
"Really?"
"I don't know all the technicals," I sez with a shrug, "but it has something to do with a weakness in design when you go to a double bow. You don't get as accurate a delivery with either shot as you do with the single shot-model. I figure when you go to an expert, you should listen to what they have to say."
"Interesting," Pookie sez, retrievin' the weapon from Spyder and starin' at it anew.
"The point is that a bow like that costs roughly a year's wages for an average person in this dimension," I sez. "To own one, one either has to be very rich or very serious about one's weaponry. Since the guy in the opposition is currently in the highway-robbery business, I'm assumin' that he isn't rich. That makes him a serious armsman."
"Like you," Pookie sez, handing the beauty back to me.
"Uh-huh," I sez, reloadin' the weapon. "The fact is, I may even know him. The only ones I know who carry weapons from Iolo work for the Mob... or used to. Somehow I don't see this as their kind of action. Besides, Don Bruce, that's the guy who runs the Mob in these parts, has a deal goin' with the Boss to lay off the kingdom."
"Nonetheless," Pookie sez, "I see what you mean about taking these guys seriously."
"That's good," I sez, "since I've noticed some movement in that big tree up ahead. Don't look at it directly, but it's the one with the limb that juts out over the trail. I think we're finally gonna see some action."
TEN
Actually, it was a pretty feeble ambush. Particularly after the big buildup I had given it. Still, I hadn't managed to build and maintain the long career I am enjoyin' by un-derestimatin' the opposition . .. even when they deserve underestimatin'.
We are still a good ways from the tree, call it a stone's throw, when, with a snappin' of twigs and a small shower of leaves, this kid drops onto the trail ahead of us. He lands off balance and ends up on his rump, but he's game and manages to scramble back to his feet without droppin' his sword.
"Tell me again about how we were selling this guy short," Pookie murmurs to me.
I give a little shrug, as there is nothin' else to say.
I have to admit, the perpetrator does not strike an impressive figure. He's a short little runt, even with the hat, to a point where his head would maybe come halfway up my chest if I wasn't wearin' a disguise. He has the build of a gangly teenager and the grace of a three-legged mule, which he proceeds to demonstrate by gettin' his sword tangled in his cloak as he tries to brandish it. Despite the spiffy black outfit, I would figure that Spyder could take him and four more just like him without mussin' her hair.
"Good day to you, minions of Evil," he sez, tryin' to make his voice sound deeper. "I am here to relieve you of your troublesome burden. Your wheelbarrow is laden with monies taxed from the sweat of honest citizens. I will take charge of it from here."
Pookie and Spyder are lookin' at me with raised eyebrows, so I figure it's my show.
"I don't think so," I sez, foldin' my arms. "Really?" the kid sez, genuinely surprised. "And why not, may I ask?"
"Well, other than the fact that we outnumber you three to one," I sez, "there the detail that we're all outside the range of that sword you're wavin'."
"Forgive me," he sez with a smile. "I neglected to introduce my associate. 'Nardo!"
"Perhaps you should count again, soldier," sez a voice to my right. "And believe me, you're well within my range."
I had marked that particular tree as bein' the most likely spot to give cover fire from, and I was right. The big guy had eased out from behind it just enough to get a clear shot if he had to, but could still duck back quick if things got rough. He had his crossbow loaded and cocked, all right, but at the moment he had it pointed straight up so we could get a good look at what he was holdin'.
"Well," I sez. "I guess there's only one thing I can say to that. Pookie! Drop the disguises!"
As I'm sayin' that last bit, I'm duckin' behind the wheelbarrow for cover as I pluck my own crossbow from my belt and level it at the kid.