I steered to the curb in front of her house.
“That’s my mom’s car.” Her hands clenched and unclenched.
“Then it’s a good thing I’m here.” Noting she didn’t move, I went around to her side and opened the door. She exited and I closed the car door for her. “You know, from what you say and what I’ve seen, your parents are very…” I searched for the right word. “Detached. Honestly, maybe they couldn’t help themselves. Maybe that was the only way to deal with the pain.”
The lines between her brows vanished. “I didn’t think about it that way.”
I took her hand and walked but jerked back when she stopped unexpectedly.
“Actually, that explanation doesn’t make me feel any better. That’s no excuse for deserting your kids who are still breathing, that you can still talk to. Except for the token dinner and ‘How was your day?’ she’s barely aware we’re alive.”
“See what she has to say before you jump on her.”
“I’ll try.” She nodded. Her mom met us at the door. “Hey.”
“Hi, sweetie. Are you two hungry? Should I warm up some dinner?”
“Yes, thanks. I’m starving. What about you, Hayden?” Tessa asked but her eyes were fixed on her mother.
“I’m okay. I ate while you were sleeping.”
Vivienne smiled and made her way to the kitchen. Tessa let go of my hand and followed. Uh-oh. Here it comes.
“Mom. What did you do with all the photos of Zoe?”
Vivienne’s head snapped to Tessa. “What?”
Tessa closed in like a panther. “The pictures of my sister, your daughter.” The flow of Tessa’s words slowed and she enunciated each one carefully. Her voice rose in volume. “What did you do with them?”
“Th-they’re in a box. In my room.”
“I want to see them. Can you get the box for me, please?”
Vivienne nodded and numbly departed the kitchen. She returned and placed a dusty box on the kitchen counter then served up the food. Keeping her back to us, Tessa’s mom stuck the food-filled plate in the microwave.
“Why, Mom? Why not let me share her with you?”
Her mom remained silent so long, I wondered if she’d heard Tessa.
“I had Zoe when I was twenty. We planned for her a year ahead, waiting until we could afford to have a baby. We were so excited. We painted the nursery and bought tiny little outfits. My marriage was good. I didn’t think life could get any better. Then Zoe arrived and I fell in love with her, more than I thought possible.” Vivienne’s voice held a wistful tone as though she were in a faraway place. Then she met Tessa’s gaze. “You were an accident, but we loved you anyway.”
“But not enough,” Tessa said softly.
The microwave dinged. Vivienne stood fixed to the tile floor, her palms spread over the granite counter. “When we lost Zoe, we sort of died as a family. I-I couldn’t hold it all together. Then your father and I began having problems and… It was so hard. Then there wasn’t anything left of me to love anyone.”
Tessa looked mortified and I couldn’t blame her. She stared at her mother so intensely I was positive she’d forgotten I was there. “But you got pregnant again.”
Vivienne sighed and looked out the window. I doubted she noticed the dark outside or realized she couldn’t see anything. “I was over forty when I got pregnant with Bree. I thought… I thought maybe it would be different, that I’d feel something other than my grief over losing Zoe.”
“So, for Bree’s sake…” Tessa inched toward her mother, “if I ask for custody when I turn eighteen, you’ll give her to me?”
“Yes,” Vivienne answered quietly but without hesitation.
I couldn’t imagine how a person could be so damaged that they’d give up their own child that easily. It would be different if she were a single unwed teenager. But to be financially secure and married, then give up your kid without another thought seemed so terribly wrong.
“That’s all I needed to know.” Tessa pivoted, picked up the box and left the kitchen.
I followed her, but glanced over to see Vivienne pick up her purse and walk out the front door, face devoid of any emotion. I wondered if I should leave Tessa alone to look at the pictures or if it would be better to keep an eye on her.
From the doorway, I peered in. Tessa sat on the bed, the box lid behind her. She reached into the box, gingerly lifting a pile of pictures. It seemed like such a private moment.
“Would you like me to leave? Like go watch TV in the living room or something?” I hovered outside her room, fully prepared for her to tell me to get lost.
“No. Let’s go check on Bree.” Tessa set the photos back in the box and sprang off the bed. We traipsed down the hallway, following the sound of laughter and running water. She knocked on the bathroom door. “Everyone decent in there?”
“Yeah. Come on in.” I didn’t recognize the voice. The door opened and Tessa led the way inside.
“Tessa.” Bree squealed and set her toothbrush on the counter.
“I brought Hayden.” She kneeled in front of Bree who was already wearing her neon pink pajamas. “Do you mind?”
Bree spotted me and giggled, while pushing her tongue into the open space between her two front teeth. “Will you read me a story later?” she asked me.
“Sure.” I noticed the babysitter sitting on the toilet seat lid ogling me as she held a hair brush in mid-air.
“Then you can stay,” Bree squeaked in her already high voice.
“Hi,” I said to the redhead. “I’m Hayden.”
“I’m Isabella.” She fidgeted, her eyes darting around the tiny bathroom.
“My mom left money for you on the counter. I’ll finish up here. See you tomorrow after school?” Tessa asked.
She nodded, plucked up a paperback book and exited the small bathroom, but not before glancing back at me.
“Thanks, Isabella,” Tessa called out then whispered, “Do all girls fall madly in love with you so quickly?”
I grinned. “She’s young and impressionable.”
“She’s our age.” Tessa rolled her eyes.
“Then the answer is obviously yes.” I chuckled. “Everyone except you, that is.”
Tessa grabbed the thick, oversized blue towel draped over the side of the bathtub, then cast me a glance. “It comes from having my heart broken. I can’t go through that again.” She hung the towel on a hook then poked Bree’s belly, her tone softening. “C’mon, Bree. Let’s get you to bed.”
Tessa whisked her little sister away, then came out a few minutes later rubbing her temples.
“Sit,” I said, grasping her shoulders and aiming her toward a stool. She obeyed and I warmed up the food her mother had abandoned earlier. Tessa ate slowly, stopping now and then to stare at nothing. When she’d finished, she shuffled to her room. I hovered in the doorway while she returned to the bed, her attention riveted to the box of pictures.
“How can anyone not love Bree, someone that sweet and beautiful?” Her hands rested on the edge of the box. “I don’t get it, Hayden.”
And then there were the opposite type of people who loved the undeserving ones. Like my mother with Sam. I leaned against the doorjamb knowing I should go, but not quite comfortable leaving her alone yet. Tessa’s question was rhetorical, but I couldn’t stay quiet.
“You never know who they’ll love or not love. I gave up the second time I went into the hospital and my mom stayed with the bastard, even though she’d almost lost an eye the same night.” My chest constricted as I remembered what he’d put her through. “People have their baggage. Trying to analyze it won’t make it better. No matter what goes on in our heads, theirs will be just as screwed up. All we can do is make peace with the situation.”
“I’ve been applying your philosophy for years. Tonight, my mother only confirmed what I already knew. I mean, yeah, it stung hearing the words out loud. But nothing’s changed, except now I’m panicked, because I could never move out and leave Bree behind.” Tessa picked up the first picture and studied it with a faraway smile, then set it aside. “I have to be able to support myself and Bree too. My scholarship won’t feed us or pay our rent. I don’t know how I’m going to make enough by working at Delia’s part time. I could quit school and work full time, but minimum wage still isn’t going to cut it.”