Louis Armstrong warbled in the background and Drew pressed his cheek gently to mine. A small contented sigh escaped my lips and I closed my eyes, feeling the slight roughness of his cheek and the warmth of his hands.
We danced and swayed as Drew slowly led me around the square, our bodies in total sync with one another. It was too easy to get lost in the moment. Being in his arms and dancing underneath the stars in a place that was just ours seemed to overtake all of my senses. The square blurred around me and all I could feel was the soft touch of his fingers as they grazed my back’s naked skin, the warmth of his breath against the side of my neck.
My body relaxed into him, my lips parted, and my heart pounded as he began to softly sing the lyrics in my ear, asking me to give him my heart and soul.
The way I was reacting to him was not normal. The softest touch from him had my body screaming for more. I clung to his shoulder, feeling weightless and lightheaded, grounded only by the soft whisper of his voice in my ear.
The song sped up and he spun me, taking larger and larger steps, dancing me around the square. When the trumpet reached the highest point, he dipped me, my head dropping back. I laughed and he brought me back to my feet as the song ended.
He pressed his forehead to mine, still holding on to my waist, both of us smiling like fools. I looked up into those mesmerizing blue eyes and something sparked inside me. I felt it catch and ignite as he stared down at me. The intensity in his eyes made me swallow hard.
What the hell was going on? Then reality set in. Oh my God, what am I doing? He had to be drunk. It was the only way to explain the way he was looking at me. The look on my face must have sobered him up because he cleared his throat and took a step back. My body instantly chilled from the loss of contact, forcing me to wrap my arms around myself.
Drew reached down and picked up his phone from the bench, putting it back into his pocket. He looked up at me with a small smile and we turned, heading the last few yards to my building.
When we reached my door, he leaned in and kissed my cheek. “Good night, Alex.”
“Good night,” I whispered, turning the lock and pushing open my door. I stepped in and closed the door behind me, pressing my back hard against it.
“Damn you, Wiley.” I dropped my head to the door and looked up at the ceiling. A tear slipped down my cheek as I closed my eyes. Damn her, she was right.
Chapter 9
Drew (Then)
Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, I was a little restless, so I headed to the kitchen. I grabbed a slice of pizza from the fridge and leaned against the counter as I ate. I took a bite of the cold slice, gazing out the small window above the sink. Red was sitting on the tire swing, pushing at the dirt with the toe of her shoe.
I stepped outside. The grass was cold and soft under my bare feet. “What are you doing out here, Red?”
She sniffled quickly, wiping at her tearstained cheeks. “Nothing.” She jumped to her feet and started for the deck.
I reached out and wrapped my hand gently around her arm. “Whoa. Red, what’s wrong?”
She stopped and turned on me. Anger and sadness were clear in her eyes, causing a lump to form in my throat. She looked down at her feet, shoving her hands into her pockets. “Why didn’t you tell me about your mom?”
I didn’t want to get into this right now. I probably should have warned her after everything she went through last year, but what Mom was going through was not the same as what happened to her parents. Besides, I refused to believe that I was losing my mom. She was tough. She would make it through.
I sighed, releasing her arm and running a hand through my hair. “I didn’t want to upset you.” Her eyes widened, but she said nothing. “With everything that happened to you last year…” I trailed off, afraid I was just digging myself a hole.
“You thought I couldn’t handle it.” She nodded, her lips tight as she turned to head back into the house.
“I didn’t say you couldn’t handle it. I just didn’t want to add to everything you are dealing with,” I said, reaching for her again.
She whirled around to face me. The hurt and anger on her face forced me to take a step back. “Why did you bring me here?” Tears streaked her cheeks, but her voice was hard.
As I looked at her, the anger built inside me. Was she really pissed at me for trying to protect her? “I thought you could use a little fun. I thought it might be nice for you to be a part of something again.”
She stared at me, a look of disgust distorting her face. Her eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms protectively across her chest. “Do you think I’m weak?”
“What? No!” I stammered. I couldn’t believe her. I was trying to be a friend to her, and she was throwing that shit at me. I was beyond frustrated. “I don’t know what else to do with you, Red! I know we didn’t have the best start, but I have been there for you every day and you still don’t seem to trust me.”
“Trust you. Why should I trust you? I know how you are with women, Drew. Everything you do is to get laid. How do I know you aren’t just going for another notch in your bed post?”
I took a step toward her so we were almost nose to nose. I ground my teeth. My jaw was clenched so tight it hurt. “Where the fuck is this coming from? Jesus, Red, are you really that scared of letting me get close to you? I’m not even trying to fuck you. I just want to be your friend. God help the poor bastard who tries to get in your pants.”
Her green eyes were bright and filling quickly with tears. I knew I went too far. I let my features relax and softened my voice, running my hands down her arms. “Look, I like you, but if this friendship is gonna work, you need to get on board. If you can’t do that, then tell me now. Contrary to what you may believe about me, I’m not going to make you do something you don’t want to do.”
She looked down at her feet. “I know.”
When she looked back up at me, the tears were streaming down that beautiful face again. My heart clenched in my chest. This girl was going to be the death of me. I cupped her cheeks with my hands and wiped the tears from her eyes.
“I’m just…” she started. “I don’t know how to do this anymore.”
“Do what?”
“Let someone in.” She sniffled. “What if something happens?”
Something clicked. She had lost everyone she has ever cared about. She was terrified that if she let herself get close to me or to anyone, that it could happen again and that she would end up alone.
I pulled her tight against my chest, kissing the top of her head. “I’m right here, Red,” I whispered into her hair.
“For now.” She took a step back, looking down at her hands.
I reached out and tilted her chin up to look in her eyes. “Listen to me. I can’t guarantee the future, but you can’t go through life on your own afraid to get close to anyone. I care about you, okay? All you have to do is let me.”
I could see her searching my face for even an ounce of bullshit. When she couldn’t find anything, she took a deep breath and nodded.
“So, can you stop making me work so damn hard?” She chuckled and nodded her head. I dropped my arm around her shoulders pulled her in against my side. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.” She nodded and I led her back into the house.
I said good night to Red and headed back to my room, but I couldn’t get to sleep. I just kept staring up at the ceiling, listening to Sean snore from the air mattress on the floor.
What I said was true. I do care about her. She lets me be myself. She was the first girl I have ever been around who I could talk to, I mean really talk to.
Red was so different from all the other girls on campus. She called me on my shit from the first moment I met her. She made me laugh. She stood up for Sean. I really valued her as a friend. She meant more to me than I cared to admit. She was quickly becoming one of my best friends, but fuck she was beautiful. I was still dangerously attracted to her. Sometimes it was difficult to be around her, but I couldn’t stay away. I was a complete fucking mess.