“Alex, please.” He looked so hurt and so beautiful. I wanted to hug him and then slap him.
“Drew, get out of my way,” I said through clenched teeth.
“I can’t leave things like this. I need you, Alex. Please.” He reached out, his fingers brushing against my elbow.
“Don’t you get it? There‘s nothing left.” I wrenched my arm away. “It’s done. You can’t fix this with an apology and a charming smile. You broke my heart, Drew!” I took a breath and shook my head as the tears welled in my eyes. “The worst part?” I said. “I shouldn’t have expected anything more.”
He winced and took a step back, looking like he had been shot. I took the opportunity to bail. I ran through the front doors and straight up to my apartment, slamming and locking the door behind me.
I set down my stuff and poured a glass of wine. In the living room, I set my glass on the coffee table and opened all the windows. I leaned against the window frame, listening to the sweet melodic jazz that floated through my window, letting the tears stream down my face.
***
It had been almost two weeks since Drew had shown up at my place. He continued to call and text, but I couldn’t bring myself to listen, so I just deleted all the texts. I didn’t want to see him. I went out of my way to avoid places he would go, which included The Den.
After the second time I skipped trivia, Sean called. “Hey, beautiful. How ya doin’?” he said in a sing-song voice.
“Okay, I guess.”
“Liar.”
I smiled. “You got me. So, what’s going on? Has Papa Jack let you back in the bar yet?”
He laughed. “Yeah. He says I am on probation.”
“That’ll teach you to grab a waitress.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry about that, by the way,” he said. I knew he never meant any harm. “Look, Alex. You know I didn’t call about that.”
“Yeah, I know.” I let out a long breath.
“He’s pretty messed up.”
“Yeah. Well, so am I.” I was having a hard time keeping the anger from seeping into my voice.
“I’m just playing the devil’s advocate here. I love you both, you know that. He fucked up. He fucked up big, but Alex, you should at least try to hear him out. Give him a chance to explain.”
“Sean, I heard everything he told David. I heard it loud and clear.”
He was quiet for moment. “Alex, you mean the world to him. I don’t know what he said to David, or why he said it, but I think you should listen to him.” I didn’t say anything. After a long silence, he said. “Can you at least promise me you will think about it?
“Fine.”
“Thanks. We’re still good, right?”
“Of course.” Sean was still my family. I may have inherited him, but he still meant a lot to me.
“Great. Well, just think about what I said, okay?
“Okay.”
“And please call Millie. She’s really worried about you. We all are.”
“I will. Talk to you later. Bye, Sean.”
I hung up. I promised to consider hearing Drew out, but I don’t think I could take it. Only time would tell.
***
Another week went by and I was still not talking to Drew. I checked in with Sean and Millie, as promised, but continued to stay away from anywhere I thought I could run into him, which included Down the Street. I had to settle for the generic weak brew at the office. The lack of good coffee was making me hate him more.
I threw myself into work. It seemed to be all I had left. Everything connected to Drew. He was everywhere. When I went home, he surrounded me. It wasn’t just in the pictures and the gifts or the things he’d left, but my memories of him took over and everything became a part of him. I couldn’t escape. My apartment once was my sanctuary and now it was like a cage surrounding me with all things Drew.
Later that night, my phone rang, waking me from a dead sleep. I sat up and rubbed my eyes as I tried to stop the infernal ringing. I glanced at the clock. Who was calling me at one forty-five in the morning? I picked up my phone. It was Millie.
“Hey, Millie,” I said, my voice thick with sleep.
“Alex, you need to come.”
“What? Where?” The concern in her voice had me in a panic. Something was wrong.
“It’s Papa Jack,” she said. “He had a heart attack.”
Chapter 23
Drew (Then)
I ran into the lobby of the emergency room and headed straight to the triage desk with Red following close behind me. I slammed my body into the desk, trying to catch my breath. “Excuse me. My mother Emma Collins was just brought in.”
The nurse behind the desk typed something into her computer, completely unphased by dramatic entrance. “The doctor is in with her now. You need to have a seat and someone will be out to talk to you.”
“Is she okay?” I asked, frustrated that she was not telling me more. I needed them to tell me she was going to be okay.
“Sir, the doctor will be out to talk to you soon,” she said, her voice becoming more firm.
“Drew.” Red pulled on my arm. “Come on, Drew. Let’s sit down. Papa Jack is with her.”
I let her pull me to a couch in the waiting area. I dropped my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands. Red took a seat next to me and rubbed my back. I was losing my mind. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. Mom was still undergoing treatment. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. We were supposed to have more time.
The doors behind the triage desk opened and we got to our feet as Papa Jack came out. He looked pale and terrified. He walked up to us and I searched his face for some kind of sign that she was okay. He was not looking like it was good news.
“What is it, Pop?” I asked, afraid of what his answer could be.
“The doctor said…” he said as tears welled in his eyes. “He said it’s her heart. The chemo and radiation have done some severe damage to her body and her heart just can’t take it.”
Red gasped. She covered her mouth and sank down to the couch. I heard the words he was saying, but I couldn’t process them. Her heart?
“So, what happens now?”
Papa Jack put a hand on my shoulder. “She’s awake, and they are doing everything they can to make her comfortable. Right now, we have to…” His voice cracked. My father, the strongest man I knew, was moments from breaking down. Things were really bad. He took a deep breath. “We have to call David and Millie. In a little while, we can go in together and say good…goodbye.”
“Goodbye? No! She was fine. She…She was fine. We were just dancing. We were just…and I promised…I can’t.” I just broke, and my burly bear of a father pulled me to his chest, hugging me tight.
“It’s okay, son.”
“We were supposed to have more time,” I said, gripping the collar of his shirt in my hands as the pain clawed its way up my throat. “I need more time.”
“I know,” he said, his own tears rolling down his cheeks.
“I can call David for you,” Red said, her voice soft and thick with tears.
We looked at her. Her cheeks were wet and her bright eyes shined with tears.
“Thanks, Alex,” Papa Jack said, “but I think I better call. You stay here with Drew.”
He gave her a sad smile and pulled his cell phone from his pocket, walking through the automatic doors to the sidewalk outside.
“I’m so sorry.” Red pulled me into a hug and I clung to her as what Papa Jack said about saying goodbye finally started to sink in.
My head was spinning. How did everything change so quickly? It was only hours ago that Mom and I were dancing at David’s wedding. She was calling me out on how I felt about Red. She was smiling at me and dancing with Papa Jack. Now she was dying in a hospital room. I didn’t understand. She was fine. She was fine and then she wasn’t.
The three of us sat in the waiting room, just staring straight ahead, not speaking. We waited for them to tell us we could go back to see her, waited to say goodbye.