Having that kind of relationship with God is not only the source of my freedom but also the key to my new life.
After reading this book, please do not think that I have become some kind of super follower of Jesus. I’m still struggling. The little I know and understand about my faith came from Bible studies and reading. In other words, I am a follower of Jesus Christ but am only beginning to become a disciple.
I was born and raised in a religious environment that insisted salvation was all about works. I have a lot to unlearn to make room for the truth:
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. —EPHESIANS 4:22-24
Like many other followers of Christ, I have repented of my sins, and I know that Jesus is the Son of God who became a man, died for our sins, rose from the dead, and is seated at the right hand of the Father. I have been baptized. Yet I feel that I am barely inside the gate of the Kingdom of God. I have been told that there is much, much more. And I want it all.
In the meantime, I still struggle with the world, the flesh, and the devil. I still have misconceptions and confusion. I wrestle with what sometimes seem like invincible issues. Yet I have hope that I, like the apostle Paul who described himself to Timothy as “the worst of sinners” (1 Timothy 1:16), will become whatever God wants me to be, as long as I don’t give up.
So if you meet me in the street, please don’t ask me for advice or what I think this or that Scripture verse means, because you’re probably already way ahead of me. Instead of looking at me as a spiritual trophy, pray for me, that I will grow in my faith and that I won’t step on too many toes as I learn to dance with the Bridegroom.
As long as we continue to search for enemies anywhere but inside ourselves, there will always be a Middle East problem.
Religion is not the solution. Religion without Jesus is just self-righteousness. Freedom from oppression will not resolve things either. Delivered from the oppression of Europe, Israel became the oppressor. Delivered from persecution, Muslims became persecutors. Abused spouses and children often go on to abuse spouses and children. It is a cliché, but it’s still true: hurt people, unless they are healed, hurt people.
Manipulated by lies and driven by racism, hatred, and revenge, I was on my way to being one of those people. Then in 1999, I encountered the only true God. He is the Father whose love is beyond expression, yet shown in the sacrifice of his only Son on a cross to atone for the world’s sins. He is the God who, three days later, demonstrated his power and righteousness by raising Jesus from the dead. He is the God who not only commands me to love and forgive my enemies as he has loved and forgiven me but empowers me to do so.
Truth and forgiveness are the only solution for the Middle East. The challenge, especially between Israelis and Palestinians, is not to find the solution. The challenge is to be the first courageous enough to embrace it.
The Players
Sheikh Yousef Dawood — His paternal grandfather
Sheikh Hassan Yousef — His father; cofounder and leader of Hamas since 1986
Sabha Abu Salem — His mother
Ibrahim Abu Salem — His uncle (mother’s brother); a cofounder of the Muslim Brotherhood in Jordan
Dawood — His uncle (father’s brother)
Yousef Dawood — His cousin, son of Dawood, who helped him purchase inoperative weapons
Mosab’s brothers — Sohayb (1980), Seif (1983), Oways (1985), Mohammad (1987), Naser (1997)
Mosab’s sisters — Sabeela (1979), Tasneem (1982), Anhar (1990)
Hassan al-Banna — Egyptian reformer and founder of the Muslim Brotherhood
Jamal Mansour — Cofounder of Hamas in 1986; assassinated by Israel
Ibrahim Kiswani — Mosab’s friend who helped him purchase inoperative weapons
Loai — Mosab’s handler in the Shin Bet
Marwan Barghouti — Secretary-general of Fatah
Maher Odeh — Hamas leader and head of Hamas security wing in prison
Saleh Talahme — Hamas terrorist and Mosab’s friend
Ibrahim Hamed — Head of Hamas security wing in the West Bank
Sayyed al-Sheikh Qassem — Hamas terrorist
Hasaneen Rummanah — Hamas terrorist
Khalid Meshaal — Head of Hamas in Damascus, Syria
Abdullah Barghouti — Bomb maker
Abdel Aziz al-Rantissi — Hamas leader; leader of the deportee camp in Lebanon
Abdel-Basset Odeh — Hamas suicide bomber, Park Hotel
Abu Ali Mustafa — Secretary-general of PFLP; assassinated by Israel
Abu Saleem — Butcher; Mosab’s crazy neighbor
Adib Zeyadeh — Covert leader of Hamas
Ahmad Ghandour — Early leader of Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades
Ahmad al-Faransi — Aide to Marwan Barghouti
Ahmed Yassin — Cofounder of Hamas in 1986; assassinated by Israel
Akel Sorour — Friend of Mosab and fellow prison inmate
Amar Salah Diab Amarna — First official Hamas suicide bomber
Amer Abu Sarhan — Stabbed three Israelis to death in 1989
Amnon — Jewish convert to Christianity and fellow prison inmate with Mosab
Anas Rasras — Maj’d leader at Megiddo Prison
Ariel Sharon — Eleventh prime minister of Israel (2001–2006)
Avi Dichter — Head of Shin Bet
Ayman Abu Taha — Cofounder of Hamas in 1986
Aziz Kayed — Covert leader of Hamas
Baruch Goldstein — American-born physician who slaughtered twenty-nine Palestinians in Hebron during Ramadan
Bilal Barghouti — Cousin of Hamas bomber Abdullah Barghouti
Bill Clinton — Forty-second president of the United States
Captain Shai — Israel Defense Forces officer
Daya Muhammad Hussein al-Tawil — French Hill suicide bomber
Ehud Barak — Tenth prime minister of Israel (1999–2001)
Ehud Olmert — Twelfth prime minister of Israel (2006–2009)
Fathi Shaqaqi — Founder of Palestinian Islamic Jihad and initiator of suicide bombings
Fouad Shoubaki — PA chief financial officer for military operations
Hassan Salameh — Friend of Yahya Ayyash, who taught him how to make bombs to kill Israelis
Imad Akel — Leader of Al-Qassam Brigades, Hamas military wing; killed by Israelis
Ismail Haniyeh — Elected Palestinian prime minister in 2006
Izz al-Din Shuheil al-Masri — Sbarro pizza parlor suicide bomber