I grinned then as I realised what I was doing. "I wouldn't have thought it of you, my girl," I said aloud. "Waiting still? Seeing all the rest of Kolmar while you wait for your dream yet a little longer? Idiot." I stood, leaning over the railing of the balcony, my heart beating faster, still speaking aloud to myself. "No more. I will wait no longer. If I am truly to be Lanen Kaelar then I must go where my heart leads. It is but the turn of the season. If by some miracle there is a sailing this year for the Dragon Isle the ships won't be setting out for some weeks yet. I can get to Corli soon enough. Surely by the time they sail."
My gut tightened at the idea. There really was no reason to wait any longer. I could leave the moment the fair was over indeed, as soon as the horses were sold—and get to Corli in time to find out if any Merchant was daring or desperate enough to send a ship to brave the passage of the Storms. Corli, whence the bold or the foolish were wont to board ships bound for the Dragon Isle, once in every ten years when the Storms abated enough to allow passage.
I knew perfectly well that this was the one year in ten, but we had heard no rumours of such a venture being mounted. Still, better chance of finding out here in Illara than wandering through the Ilsan countryside!
I started to laugh, for sheer gladness and for the delicious fear that stirred my blood. I could not be still, I had to do something—so I started to dance. Nothing graceful, believe me. I broke into a kind of leaping dance, of the sort done by the people of the Méar Hills before they went to war; a traveller at Hadronsstead had taught it to me to pay for his supper. It involved sharp movements and leaping into the air and loud beating of the feet on the floor, and it was just what I needed. I started to sing the song that went with it when I heard (barely) a loud knocking at the door.
"What is it?" I yelled, striding towards the door.
A high, frightened voice answered, "The Master says will I please tell the lady to shut up, and that supper is ready in the common"—here I threw open the door — "room downstairs," finished the little maid with a gulp. She was a tiny thing, and from the look on her face the Master hadn't told her quite how large I was. Poor child.
I smiled at her. "Thank you, lass," I said kindly. "I’ll be down soon. And dear, the next time your master sends you to tell a guest to shut up, try to soften the blow a bit. Telling someone that another guest needs sleep is good, or that there are rules about only singing in the common room. It makes it seem less rude."
"Y—y—yes, milady," said the girl. She curtseyed hurriedly, turned and rushed down the stair as if her life depended on it.
I laughed as I closed the door and began to put myself back together. Poor thing, she looked terrified. I caught sight of myself in the glass and laughed harder. My drying hair was flung in all directions, my eyes gleamed still with my excitement—I looked positively wild. I forced a comb through my hair again, braided it, and belted my shirt about my waist. The wine had been lovely but the thought of food made my mouth water. Jamie and I hadn't taken a noon meal in our hurry to get to Illara, and breakfast was a dim memory of old hard bread and older cheese.
I was halfway Clown the stair before I remembered. I returned to my room and slipped the slim, sheathed blade into the top of my boot. I knew Jamie would look for it.
I hurried downstairs towards the smell of stew and ale.
When I reached the common room, Jamie was waiting for me at a table on the far side of the fire. "Is this place to your liking, my girl?" he asked as he signalled to the innkeeper.
"It's lovely, Jamie. Are you sure you won't change your mind? I hate to think of you sharing a barn with the horses when I’m lying in such luxury."
Jamie grinned, the creases in his face deepening. I smiled with him, when of a sudden I had a sense of ending upon me; It was unexpected and unwanted, as I felt for the first time a new aspect of what I was doing. I stared at Jamie with the eyes of memory, treasuring this moment. Hadronsstead I had left with joy, Illara held no regrets—but it would be hard, hard to leave Jamie behind. He was the last of my old life, and the best; even before our journey he had been the dearest soul alive to me. Now... I shook myself to hear what he was saying.
"—and if I'm not there, I'll have no measure of what the other stock are going for."
"Ah, well. I'm sure you know best," I said quietly.
He drew breath and I knew he was going to ask what was troubling me; I could not bear that, not just then. I forced myself to smile and mean it. "Oh, and it worked beautifully. The innkeeper never knew what hit him, he was out the door almost before he had time to abject. I've the best room in the house, it's—oh, hello," I said pleasantly, as the man himself arrived with two tankards of ale and a jug.
"The girl will bring yer supper, let her know if you need aught else," he grumped, and left.
I leaned towards Jamie. "Do you know, I don't think he likes me."
Jamie grinned.
Our supper arrived moments later, and the same girl brought it as had fetched me. I smiled at her. "I'm not half so frightening sitting down, am I, lass?"
She smiled back, and with the confidence of her age replied, "No, missus, that you're not. And I hope ye won't mind, but I much prefer ye down and quiet to up and singing."
I had to hit Jamie to get him to stop laughing.
As we ate we spoke of selling the horses. Jamie told me some of the tricks of the fair, where best to take the horses to be seen by the wealthiest buyers, what time to catch the people there, how to drive a hard bargain. "Best leave that to me, for the first few anyway."
"Jamie, I may not have travelled much, but I've been bargaining in the village since I was eight!"
"Illara is no village. There are traders here could sell infant's clothes to a crane. For the first two, at least, watch me. Then we'll split up and do the best we can. Deal?" he asked, holding out his hand.
I lifted my palm to my face, country fashion, to spit in it, but he caught my wrist. "The first rule of barter in Illara is not to spit in your hand. The townsfolk think it a terrible insult."
"Do they still shake hands?" I asked. "Aye, but just as they are. Deal?"
"Deal," I replied, extending my hand. I noticed that Jamie shook it twice instead of once. Another wrinkle. Another difference to learn, another culture to be part of. Excitement shivered through me again. How wondrous, to be in lllara at last, with Corli before me and all my life beyond.
As if he read my mind, Jamie asked, "Will you be leaving soon after the fair?"
"I think so," I replied, confused by the wildly differing emotions coursing through me. My dreams lay bright before me in the glow of a fireplace I had never known, but the firelight gleamed as well on the face of the one person I loved. This was our last night together, who had never been sundered longer than the month of the fair. And he of all men would know just how I felt. "I'm going to do it, Jamie. I'm going to the Dragon Isle, if it can be done. I’ll seek word of a ship down by the river tomorrow, see if the rivermen know of anyone daring the journey this year. In any case I will be setting off for Corli as soon as I can. Do you know how long the journey is? I never thought to ask."
He looked at me, measuring again, and said quietly, "It's the best part of two months to Corli if you set out overland. The roads weren't good the last time I took them, and I don't expect in these days the old King has done aught about them. I've heard no rumour of strife between the lesser nobles on our travels, which bodes well; they aren't generally inclined to start anything loud and unpleasant with winter coming on. Still, the best and safest roads run by the rivers. If you go that way and ride easy, it's three weeks to Kaibar where the rivers meet and a little more again to Corli after."