I laughed, as he knew I would. "I promise I'll only wound him." I reached out to him and he gathered me in his arms and held me close. I was taken with a trembling. "Oh, Jamie," I whispered. He did not speak for a moment, only pulled me to his heart and embraced me with all his strength. "Lanen, daughter, go you safe and keep you safe, and come safe home to me," he whispered, his voice rising at the end as his throat tightened. . .
The smell of him, the feel of his arms around me, love and strength from my earliest childhood—I could not speak.
He loosed me from his embrace and 'mounted his horse. Holding out his hand to me, he drew me to his side and kissed me on my forehead like any father seeing a child off into the world. He held my eyes with his one long moment, then turned Blaze to the west gate out of Illara. He did not look back. The lads followed him, waving cheery goodbyes to me, and I soon lost sight of them among all the others on the road.
I dried my tears on my shirtsleeve. It was a strange feeling, being alone at last. My heart was full of his words and his look, but there seemed to be an empty space all around me where Jamie should be, had always been.
He called me daughter.
No matter that Maran never knew, no matter that we could never be sure—he was my father in every sense that mattered.
I wrapped my arms around myself. Despite the early afternoon sun, there was a chill wind blowing in from the northeast. I took it as a sign from the Lady. I would let the winds blow me south and west, to Corli; if chance and the Lady willed it, to the Dragon Isle, following the wind and my dreams—and when I wearied of wandering, at least now. I would always know where home was.
And Jamie would be there.
He called me daughter.
I let the words sink deep in my heart. I could feel them like a cool drink on a summer's day, spreading through my body, quenching the hot dryness where I held images of a heedless Hadron. Sweet pain, that brought such a feeling.
I smiled. It had been a good parting after all, and the only one that mattered.
I turned back towards the inn, my heart and mind full of time past and time to come, and walked straight into Bors of Trissen.
We had to catch hold of each other to keep from falling. I was glad to find that my heart did not pound as it had before in his presence. Once I had my balance again I shook off his hands.
He was smiling, looking genuinely pleased. "Why, Lady Lanen, here you are! I’ve been looking for you. Won't you come fairing with me?"
I was on the point of swearing at him when I realised I could look at him without being dazzled. I wondered if that was the result of knowing about his amulet.
He laughed. "Dear lady, why so great a frown? I have no dark designs, I only want to show you the fair."
"Why so great a deception?" I growled. "I have no time for liars."
"What do you mean? How did I deceive you?" He looked all innocence.
"You know full well. My friend warned me, for the spell did not affect him."
"Oh, you mean the amulet," he said calmly. "Why, my lady, surely you knew—oh, your pardon! I never thought!" He went down on one knee to me, right there in the street, like a prince (or a player). He looked genuinely penitent. "Lady Lanen, I pray you will pardon this fool. I wore what I had purchased to find if it was what I had paid for. I should have realised you would not know of such things, I know they are rare outside of Corli and Elimar. I beg your pardon most sincerely."
A crowd was beginning to gather. He looked such a fool kneeling there in the road, it was all I could do not to smile at him. An old woman called out, "Take him, lass, or leave him be, but don't leave him there in the dust!" It raised a general laugh. I reached down and drew him to his feet.
There was more laughter and the people dispersed. "You great idiot," I said, losing the battle and grinning at him. "A simple apology would have done." .
"I am truly sorry, Lanen," he said humbly. "I am not wearing it now, you know." He grinned at me. "Though that night in the inn, I must admit I thought it was not working. I had hoped for a kiss at least."
"Be glad you didn't get one," I said. "If I had kissed you because of a spell and found out about it later, I might have—well, I should warn you, I have a vile temper."
Still he smiled. "I may not even hope?" he asked, teasing. I batted at his arm to cover my confusion, not knowing whether to be flattered or insulted. He was still a handsome enough man when he smiled, and his voice at least was no deception. It still had all its power and music, undiminished by the absence of the amulet. With such a natural gift, I thought to myself, he could own the world if he so wished.
"Come then, you deceiver," I said, smiling. "Show this ignorant country girl the fair, and don't forget that you're the one who paid me three times what my mare was worth."
He laughed and took my arm. "And I shall buy you supper on the strength of it as atonement for my fault," he declared. And so we entered the fair.
We spent what was left of the afternoon going round the booths and tents. I had never seen so many things before in one place. It was like a swift glimpse of all the places I dreamt of seeing someday. There were silks in all colours and patterns from Elimar—and many things that claimed to be Elimar silk but weren't (Bors showed me the difference). There was jewelry from the East Mountains, heavy furs from the trappers of the Trollingwood, beautiful boxes and bowls made from· the perfumed woods that grew in the North Kingdom, warm woolens from northern Ilsa. For supper Bors took me to a booth where they sold a spicy soup of fish and roots, a specialty of Corli. It was delicious and I was ravenous. Bors laughed and bought me another bowl. Then in the gathering dusk our eyes were caught by a troop of jugglers passing by, tossing lighted torches in the air and catching them, crying the start of a performance. We followed them to a platform draped with cloth, where the jugglers disappeared and reemerged in costume. We found space on the ground and I watched their play, fascinated. Players never came as far as our village, and everything the bard had said about them was true. I tossed a silver coin in the hat they sent round just before the end and clapped delightedly for them when it was over. Then I looked around and realised that-most of the Merchants were closing their booths.
Bors saw the look on my face. "Was there something you wanted to buy?" he asked. "They are none of them gone home yet, if we pound hard enough on the shutters they'll open-or we can come back in the morning."
"No, it isn't that I wanted anything—but it was such fun to look!" We both laughed. "I can't believe it," I said as we walked slowly back to the White Horse Inn. "So many beautiful things all in one place."
"That's, why I became a Merchant," said Bors. He was trying to keep his voice light, but beneath it I heard a genuine passion. "I have always wanted to have beauty around me to keep such things and make them mine so I could see them whenever I wished. Thought I wonder at you, Lady Lanen. I tell you true, I have never met such a woman. To look all day and buy nothing at all I know perfectly well that you can afford anything you have looked at—I handed you enough of my silver this morning. Could it be that in all the fair you found nothing to please you?"
"I have no need of things, Bors," I replied softly. "I have spent my life surrounded by things and I leave them behind with a good will. I am going to see the world. Having more things means only a larger pack for my back. Since I sent my Shadow home," I added with a smile, "I must bear my own burdens."
He looked up at me, his expression unreadable, that glorious voice uncertain for the first time. "Are you a wizard, then?" he asked, his voice catching ever so slightly .