Mikal gave clear orders to his Captain. There will be a rigorous investigation of Kinshasa. Find any and every link between the Kinshasan assassination attempt and the manipulation of Ansset. Every member of the conspiracy is to be treated as a traitor. All the rest of the Kinshasans are to be deported to a world with an unpleasant climate, and every building in Kinshasa is to be destroyed and removed and every field and orchard and animal is to be stripped. I want every bit of it on holo, to be distributed throughout the empire.
Riktors bowed his head.
Then Mikal turned to the Chamberlain, who looked petrified with fear, though he still clung to his dignity.
Chamberlain, what would you recommend that I do with my Songbird?
The Chamberlain was back to being careful. My Lord, it is not a matter to which I have given thought. The disposition of your Songbird is not a matter on which I feel it proper to advise you.
Very carefully said, my dear Chamberlain.
Ansset struggled to keep Control as he listened to their discussion of what should be done with him. Mikal raised his hand in the gesture that, by ritual, spared the Chamberlain's life. The Chamberlain's relief was visible, and at another time Ansset would have laughed; but now there was no laughter in him, and he knew that his own relief would not come so easily as it had come to the Chamberlain.
My Lord, Ansset said, when the conversation paused. I beg you to put me to death.
Dammit, Ansset, I'm sick of rituals, Mikal said.
This is no ritual, Ansset said, his voice tired and husky from misuse. And this is no song, Father Mikal. I'm a danger to you.
I noticed, Mikal said dryly. Then he turned back to the Chamberlain, Have Ansset's possessions put together and ready for travel.
I have no possessions, Ansset said.
Mikal looked at him in surprise.
I've never owned anything, Ansset said.
Mikal shrugged, spoke again to the Chamberlain. Inform the Songhouse that Ansset is returning. Tell them that he has performed beautifully, and I have marred him by bringing him to my court. Tell them that they will be paid four times what we agreed to before, and that it doesn't begin to compensate them for the beauty of their gift to me or to the damage that I did to it. See to it See to it all.
Then Mikal turned to go. Ansset could not bear to see Mikal leave like that, turning his back and walking out without so much as a farewell. Father Mikal, Ansset called out. Or rather, he meant to call out. But the words came out softly. They were a song, and Ansset realized that he had sung the first notes of the love song. It was all the good-bye he'd be able to give.
Mikal left without giving any sign that he heard.
19
They told me you're not a prisoner, the guard said. But I'm supposed to watch you, me and the others, and not let you do anything dangerous or try to get away. Sounds like a prisoner to me, but I guess they mean I'm supposed to be nice about it.
Thanks, Ansset said, managing a smile. Does that mean I can go where I want?
Depends on where you want.
The garden, Ansset said, and the guard nodded, and he and his companions followed Ansset out of the palace and across the broad lawns to the banks of the Susquehanna. All the way there his Control returned. He remembered the words of his first teacher. When you want to weep, let the tears come through your throat. Let pain come from the pressure in your thighs. Let sorrow rise and resonate through your head. Everything was a song and, as a song, could be controlled by the singer.
Walking by the Susquehanna as the lawns turned cold in the afternoon shade, Ansset sang his grief. He sang softly, but the guards heard his song, and could not help but weep for him, too.
He stopped at a place where the water looked cold and clear, and began to strip off his tunic, preparing to swim. A guard reached out a hand and stopped him. Ansset noticed the laser pointed at his foot. I can't let you do that, Mikal gave orders you were not to be allowed to take your own life.
I only want to swim, Ansset answered, his voice heady with trustworthiness.
I'd be killed if any harm came to you, the guard said.
I give you my oath that I will only swim. I'm a good swimmer. And I won't try to get away.
The guards considered among themselves, and the confidence in Ansset's voice won. out, Don't go too far, the leader told him.
Ansset took off his underwear and dove into the water. It was icy cold, with the chill of autumn on it, and it stung at first. He swam in broad strokes upstream, knowing that to the guards on the bank he would already seem like only a speck on the surface of the water. Then he dove and swam under the water, holding his breath as only a singer or a pearldiver can, and swam across the current toward the near shore, where the guards were waiting. He could hear, though muffled by the water, the cries of the guards. He surfaced, laughing. God, he could laugh again.
Two of the guards had already thrown off their boots and were up to their waists in water, preparing to try to catch Ansset's body as it swept by. But Ansset kept laughing at them, and they turned at him angrily.
Why did you worry? Ansset said. I gave my word.
Then the guards relaxed, and Ansset didn't play any more games with them, just swam and floated and rested on the bank. The chill autumn air was like the perpetual chill of the Songhouse, and though he was cold, he was, not comfortable, but comforted.
And from time to time he swam underwater for a while, listening to the different sound the guards' quarreling and laughing made when Ansset was distanced from them by the water. They played at polys, and the leader was losing heavily, though he was a good sport about it. And sometimes, in a lull in their game, Ansset could hear the cry of a bird in the distance, made sharper and yet more ambiguous by the roar of the current in his ears.
It was like the muffling of the birdcalls when Ansset had been in his cell on the flatboat. The birds had been Ansset's only sign that there was a world outside his prison, that even though he was caught up for a time in madness, something still lived that was untouched by it
And then Ansset made a connection in his mind and realized he had been terribly, terribly wrong. He had been wrong and Mikal had to know about it immediately, had to know about it before something terrible happened, something worse than anything that had gone before- Mikal's death.
Ansset swam quickly to shore, splashed out of the water, and without any attempt to dry off put on his underwear and his tunic and started off toward the palace. The guards called out, broke up the game, and chased after him. Let them chase, Ansset thought.
Stop! cried the guards, but Ansset did not stop. He was only walking. Let them run and catch up.
Where are you going! demanded the first one to reach him. The guard caught at his shoulder, tried to stop him, but Ansset pulled easily away and sped up.
To the palace, Ansset said. I have to get to the palace!
The guards were gathered around him now, and some stepped in front of him to try to head him off.
You were told I could go where I wanted.
With limits, the leader reminded him.
Am I allowed to go to the palace?
A moment's pause. Of course.
I'm going to the palace,
So they followed him, some of them with lasers drawn, as he entered the palace and began to lead them through the labyrinth. The doors had not been changed-he could open any that he had ever been able to open. And as the guards accompanied him through the labyrinth of the palace, they grew more and more confused. Where are we going?