“Energy?” I looked at him, puzzled.
“How can I explain this?” he said under his breath. “It’s like a hunger living inside me. I’ve learned how to control the energy so that when I touch someone I don’t heal any little scrape or paper cut. My ability only works when I want it to now.”
“But why does eye contact help?”
He turned his body toward mine and brushed a stray hair behind my ear. “It creates a connection.” He smiled and unleashed the full force of his gaze on me, erasing every last thought rattling around in my head. “It makes it easier for me to focus the energy.” His fingers danced across my knuckles and my heart skipped a beat as warmth spread through my fingers and across my arm.
“I just don’t understand how any of this is possible.” I looked away from him and instantly the heat retreated from my skin.
“You can’t try to understand it. It’s just something you know and can feel,” Robert explained, sighing as if suddenly deep in thought. “For instance, what did you feel when I healed you?”
“I felt warm, like you were pulling me into the sun." I glanced up at him.
“That’s the Magic. You felt it inside you. That’s the only way to know it’s real, to feel it.” He sounded full of hope, like he knew I was on the verge of understanding. But was I?
“Have you ever believed in something you had no way of explaining? Something that you just knew from the bottom of your heart it was true despite proof?” he asked when I didn’t say anything.
“You’re talking about faith.” I shook my head. “Maybe I had that once, but I’m not so sure anymore. I learned the hard way that believing in something you can’t see or touch just ends up causing pain.” I sighed, remembering all the heartbreak I’d endured throughout my life. Everyone I’d ever loved had been ripped from me, leaving a hole in my heart I wasn’t sure could ever be filled.
“Violet.” His voice wrapped around my name like a gentle caress.
Something in my voice must have given me away. He looked at me with sympathy and understanding as the pieces fell into place for him.
“Just because they’re gone doesn’t mean the love between you is lost,” Robert said. His voice was like warm honey, sweet and soothing.
“You don’t understand what it’s like to lose everything, to be alone…” I trailed off, taking a deep breath to keep my emotions in check.
Robert just looked at me and squeezed my hand. I tried to read the emotions on his face but he looked calm and collected.
“Anyway, we’re not talking about me,” I huffed and pulled my hand from his. I untied my hair and let it spill over my shoulders.
“Violet…” Robert tried.
“Just let it go, Robert,” I snapped. I didn’t want to talk about this with him. He had a way of breaking down my defenses and I couldn’t afford to let him in. Spending time with him and getting to know him was one thing but being open to him and making myself vulnerable was something completely different.
“Okay, back to me then,” he said, offering a nonchalant nod. “What else do you want to know?”
I thought for a moment and then decided to ask, “What’s it feel like for you, the Magic I mean?”
“Well,” he said, scratching his chin, “when I’m not using it, it’s like a dull hum inside me. I can always feel it. And when I do use the Magic, especially for something big like healing you, it’s this surge of energy that runs through every nerve in my body.” He paused. “It’s hard to put it into words.”
“Can all Magical people heal like you?” I asked, glad the attention was off me.
“No, very few souls are born with the ability to heal.”
“Really, why’s that?”
“Well, some people are born with the ability to create profound music like Beethoven, some people are able to read the code of the universe like Steven Hawking. They’re just born with an ability the average person doesn’t possess. It’s the same with Magical abilities; not everyone is created equal.”
I guess that made sense. Not everyone could do the same things regardless of what they told you in grade school. Everyone was created differently, whether it was from genetics, environment or our soul — we aren’t all the same. For once something finally made sense in all of this.
“It’s the same in the Magical world,” Robert continued. “Not all of us have special abilities, but we do all have the ability to learn how to use the Magic within us.”
“So you’re special.” I looked up at him and fought a smile. He was special.
“I guess you could say that. I really don’t like to think of myself that way but healers are coveted.” He smiled and reddened a bit.
“So you heal people all the time then, bring them back like you did with me?” I suddenly felt incredibly insignificant.
“I try not to. I'm not a God, Violet. It’s not my place to choose who lives and who dies.”
“Have you ever saved anyone else?”
“Not from death. At least, not anyone human,” he said and shrugged, uncomfortable.
I stood up and took a few steps toward the water. “I just don’t know.” I looked out over the waves and wondered if Magic could really have a place in my life.
I heard Robert's footsteps shuffle through the sand as he walked up behind me. He placed his hands on my shoulders and just like that I was pulled into the fog.
Darkness surrounded me. I could barely see but I was definitely standing in my living room. I looked around and saw my prone body lying asleep on the couch with Robert on the floor just below me. I started to mumble in my sleep and Robert sat up to check on me. He tightened the blanket around me and took my hand in his. At first he didn’t say anything, he just drew a pattern on the back of my palm.
“You have to believe me, Violet,” he whispered. “You just have to.”
The room swirled around me, making my head spin like I was on a ‘Tilt-a-Whirl.’ Unable to see which way was up or down, I reached out to grab hold of something solid.
Suddenly I was back on the beach with Robert.
“Violet, are you okay?” Robert asked. His voice sounded muffled as I blinked the sunlight back into my eyes. Robert knelt next to me on the ground with his arm behind me for support.
“How did I get down here?” I asked, putting my palm against my forehead to stop the world from spinning.
“Your face went blank and you just fell to the ground.” Anxiety poured off of him.
I tried to put the pieces together. This wasn’t the first time I’d had a daydream so real I couldn’t tell the difference between reality and what I saw.
“Violet, what happened?” Robert asked as he helped me off the ground.
As I stood the blood rushed from my head and my vision blurred. I held onto Robert’s arm for support as the fuzzy blackness disappeared.
“I don’t know. The last thing I remember is you walking up behind me and placing your hands on my shoulders. You… your touch…” My heart began to race as dread set in.
“Did you do that to me?” I asked as I backed away from him.
“Do what to you?” Robert replied. He took a tentative step toward me.
I stepped further away. “Did you do something to make me see that?”
“See what, Violet, talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.” He stopped and let his hand fall to his side.
Did he really not know what I was talking about? Was I really starting to lose my mind?
“You can’t just ignore me,” Robert said when I didn’t answer. He took another slow step toward me and this time I didn’t back away.