“May I ask why?”
“You all look so young. Last year I mostly dated seniors. In high school, there’s a big difference between a freshman and a senior.”
“I thought guys wanted to date younger women,” she teased me.
“A lot of them do. I guess my problem is the girls I eat lunch with; Tracy asked me to look out for them. I think of them as my little sisters. I couldn’t imagine dating a sister,” I confessed.
“Do you think of me as a little sister?” Maggie asked.
“No, I guess I don’t,” I said as I smiled at her. “Maggie, would you go out with me Saturday night?”
“I don’t know. What did you have planned?”
“Does it really matter?” I asked.
“I need to know what to wear. If we’re going dancing, I’d want to have on the right shoes. Things like that,” she explained.
“I understand, but it sounded like you were deciding whether or not to go on a date with me based on what we’re doing.”
“Well, that too. I don’t want to go out and have a bad time.”
If she didn’t trust me to figure out an appropriate first date, then I wasn’t going out with her. This was just a game girls played to get you to jump through hoops. The sad part was this was just the opening gambit. Next, she’d be telling me what to wear, and who I could talk to. I was glad we’d talked.
“Fair enough. I’ll call you when I figure out a plan,” I told her.
Saved by the bell. She seemed happy, so I just went to class.
TODAY WE WOULD REVIEW the game film from the last two games and get introduced to our next opponent, Bloomington. I had asked Coach Hope if Alan, Gina and Lily could join us. I wanted them to see the process we went through so they could incorporate it into the software we were developing.
“I want to say I fully expected us to be 0–2 at this point. The coaching staff reviewed the two games we played last week and Coach Diamond reminded me we do have a passing game. It’s what won us both games. They convinced me to loosen things up some this week. That doesn’t mean we’re not going to run the ball,” Coach Hope warned us.
Instead of showing us game film of what we did, they showed us Bloomington. They were a non-conference game. Bloomington had put up big numbers the first two games. They beat Wesleyan 45–6. I knew Wesleyan wasn’t very good, so that wasn’t unexpected. They played Washington on Saturday and pounded them 52–21. Washington was on a short week after playing us on Wednesday. I felt bad for Ty and his teammates. I really thought they’d make it to State this year. If they were to have any hope of an at-large bid, they’d have to run the table from here on out.
Bloomington was a senior-laden team that was coming together. They traditionally weren’t good but seemed to pull a good team together every few years. They would be hard to beat this week, but if Coach let us play to our potential, I felt like we had a good shot.
Something big we had going for us was it would be our first home game. We expected a huge crowd, as many of our fans would get their first look at us. It would be nice not having to travel.
I was worried when we went out and ran through the plays we would use this week. Despite what he’d said in the meeting, Coach Hope wanted us to run a ball-control offense and win with defense. Everyone had seen the film. Bloomington was going to score. If we went conservative, we’d get our heads handed to us.
I WAS STILL FUMING when I got home for dinner. Mom and Dad could tell something was bothering me. I had been talking to them more now that Tami was gone. I no longer had the almost daily talks with my former best friend. I always had been close to my parents, but I was building stronger ties with them now. That being said, my mother could read me almost as well as Tami could.
“Spill it,” Mom ordered.
“I think we’re going to lose this week. They want us to run the ball-control offense against Bloomington. If we do, they’ll beat us soundly.”
“What did Coach Hope say when you talked to him?” Dad asked.
“I haven’t talked to him,” I admitted, “I didn’t want to rock the boat.”
“Is winning State just a wish for you?” Dad asked me.
Dad made my head hurt sometimes. Coach Hope had set the goal. I had thought we could win my junior and senior years. I know I’d agreed to try this year.
“Yeah, I think we can win it this year,” I said.
Dad looked at Mom and they both shook their heads. What had I missed?
“Until you change how you’re thinking, you’ll never win State,” Dad said, shocking me.
I looked at him, confused. He saw I hadn’t gotten what he was trying to tell me.
“Look, you’re not the only one who your uncle talks to. He and I have had these discussions. Something he taught me was that having goals is the first step in achieving what you want. I hear the self-doubt in the way you’re talking. You’re making up reasons for failure. It’ll be a lock, come Friday. Once you start thinking of reasons why you may lose, you’ve already lost. Goals alone won’t motivate you. Purpose creates passion. Without purpose, you’ll fail.
“Do you really believe you can win state this year?” Dad asked me.
I started to think about it. It would be almost impossible for us to do it. We had talent, but we didn’t have the size and strength many of the better schools would have. A good example was the big difference in someone like Tim as a sophomore and what he’d be his senior year. If he were playing center, the big defensive tackles would simply manhandle him. Two years of lifting and growing into his frame would make a big difference.
“I don’t know, Dad; can we?” I asked.
Mom sighed and Dad nodded to her.
“David, when you ask ‘Can I?’ you’re full of doubt. You’re giving yourself permission to fail. Failure is a choice. When you eliminate it as an option, your speech will change. You’ll start talking in terms of ‘HOW I will ...’” Mom told me.
“Think about it, David. What words do you use to say you can’t make it happen?” Dad asked. “Let me remind you of a phrase your uncle taught you: ‘If it is to be, it is up to me.’ Those ten simple words can change your life. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve seen you settling. I know you have the drive and passion within you. You just need to decide what you want so much that failure is no longer an option.”
“Like what?” I asked.
“Look at Greg. Did you ever imagine him starting his own business at his age? If he didn’t have Kyle, he’d be out right now looking for his next date,” Mom said.
She did have a point.
“Does he have something to be passionate about?” Dad asked me.
“When you put it into those terms, football seems almost meaningless,” I said.
“Are you kidding me?” Mom almost yelled at me. “Being passionate doesn’t have to be about supporting your family. Take Eve as an example. Look at what all she’s willing to sacrifice to become the best singer she can be. That has nothing to do with supporting a family. Tami’s doing the same. She’s going for her dream. Greg has a huge reason for not failing. Kyle and Angie mean the world to him. Do you think failure’s an option for him? Do you think Eve or Tami will fail? Why are you not as committed?”
“I guess because Coach Hope didn’t have enough faith in me to even start,” I said, and saying it aloud made me realize just how stupid it sounded.
“David, Coach Hope never had any control over you that you didn’t give him,” Dad told me.
I thought about it. Ever since Coach Hope had gotten here, I’d tried to do everything to please him. I had been the personification of a team player. I’d been willing to put everything I wanted aside to make the team better. If I really wanted the team to be better, I had to do what was needed to make it happen. We had the same issue with a lot of the kids dropping out of Cassidy’s workout program. We’d started something that could be great. Was I willing to let it falter just because I hadn’t asserted myself? Was just one person able to effect change? If the individual was passionate enough, he sure could.