“I’m happy to see you, too,” I teased her.
“Oh, Dear God! They think just because I’m an actress, I’m easy. Get some liquor in these boys and look out.”
“Are you going to be safe if I leave? I could have Teddy come over to fend off these good ol’ boys,” I said.
“No, if it gets out of hand, I do have security here,” she said. “I’ve seen you in some commercials. Do you plan on going into acting?”
“To be honest, I’ve never thought about it. If you’ve noticed, they don’t let me talk in any of those commercials.”
“I think you’d be a natural. I don’t see a shy bone in your body, you’re almost funny at times, and your looks aren’t unfortunate. I have something coming up at the first of the year. I need someone to play my son.”
“Get out of here. There is no way you’re old enough to be my mother.”
“You’re so full of it. Would you be interested?”
“As long as it doesn’t interfere with my modeling or football, I’d love to do it. I think calling you ‘mom’ would be fun.”
That got me whacked. Instead of taking her back to her table, I took her to ours. Teddy hadn’t brought his twenty-something girlfriend, so I figured he could watch out for Lori.
“Teddy, could you be my mom’s escort tonight?” I asked.
“Ow, that hurt!” I complained as I got whacked again. “Come on, Nancy, let’s get out of here and let the adults have their fun.”
As Carol, Jennie, Nancy and I left, Lori was telling them why I’d called her ‘mom.’
CAROL AND JENNIE WANTED to go to the hotel to change. I gave them my coat, and Nancy and I went to the Chi Omega house. Carol and Jennie would meet us there, and then we would walk over to Theta Chi. They took about twenty minutes. It was enough time for Nancy and me to just get started making out. Whoever would have known girls could change clothes so fast?
The walk to Theta Chi was only a block. That was why the two houses kept such close ties: you could stumble home easily. When we got there, the guy at the door was a complete wanker. My trip to the UK paid off so I didn’t have to be too crude or call him what I wanted to in front of the ladies.
“All the lovely ladies can come in, but no dudes,” the gatekeeper said.
“Chuck, he’s with me,” Nancy said.
“Yeah, right, you expect me to believe that you’re going out with a guy? I didn’t think you swung that way,” Chuck shot back.
“Really? Did you just call me a lesbian?” Nancy asked.
I could see this was going downhill quickly. I figured Chuck was on his own. I sent John a text as I watched the idiot insult all three girls.
I could hear in the background, ‘Who the hell let Chuck work the door?’
A minute later John was there with a couple of his fraternity brothers. They ushered us in.
“Who is that wanker?” I asked, saying ‘wanker’ in my best snotty British accent.
Everyone cracked up.
“I love it,” one of John’s brothers said. “That is some funny shit.”
“I can’t wait till the pledge meeting tomorrow. Chuck’s going to have a new nickname, ‘Wanker!’ That’s just so perfect,” John said.
Nancy led the girls to the punch, leaving me with John, so he took me over to a group of girls. As we walked over, he had news.
“Remember Daisy?” he asked.
“You mean Karen? Yeah, she was with Nancy the first night.”
“Well, we’re going out now.”
“What happened to the hometown girl who was following you to school? Your sister said it was true love.”
“Well, we’re still going out,” John said.
Oh crud, there was no way this would end well for John.
“You are just a dumbass. I liked that girl. She thought I was gay,” I said.
“A lot of people think you’re gay,” John shot back.
“Nice. So how does dating two women work? Do they know about each other?” I asked.
“Of course, they don’t know about each other. What, do you think I’m crazy?”
“Actually, I do. They will find out about each other. You’re better off being up-front with them. If they find out, you’ll be with no girlfriend. My next guess is that Nancy would kick your butt. I know you don’t want that to happen,” I said.
“What should I do?” he asked.
“Do you really want to tell them both, or not?”
He squirmed. I knew this wasn’t easy for him.
“Yeah, I want to tell them,” John said.
I was shocked. Not many guys want to take that route.
“Are you sure? This could really go south on you,” I warned.
“Yeah, it’s eating me up inside. I like them both.”
“Do you trust me?” I asked him.
“I’m open to any suggestions.”
“You’re not going to like this, but I think we need to talk to Nancy. We need a woman’s advice on this one,” I said.
“You go test the waters with her, and see if she’s willing to talk to me about it,” John told me.
I went to find her. She and the girls had disappeared. I found them in the kitchen, surrounded by four fraternity brothers hitting on them. I went up and kissed each one of them. That got the guys’ attention.
“Who’s this?” one of them asked.
“This is David. He brought us all here tonight. You remember him from the party this summer,” Nancy reminded him.
“I thought that was just a story. You know, like an urban legend. A guy walks into the Theta Chi house and picks up Nancy Brock. No way did that happen,” guy number two said.
I looked around and saw Major. I never got his real name. We were all given nicknames for mystery date night. I waved him over.
“Hey, how’re you doing, GQ?” he asked.
“Good. I need some help,” I said.
“Sure. What can I do for you?”
“Can you verify that I took Nancy out, for these guys? They don’t think it’s possible.”
He laughed.
“Yes, Nancy goes out with him whenever he’s in town. David has some serious skills in picking up women.”
“Hey, I made him wait a full day before I agreed to go out with him,” Nancy protested.
Major made one of the pledges get us all drinks. He brought me a Mountain Dew because I said I didn’t drink alcohol during the season. I then pulled Nancy aside and explained John’s problem. We agreed that it was best if she talked to him when everyone was sober. She was a little disappointed, but she appreciated that we asked for her help. She didn’t think he had much of a chance of this working out because he wasn’t honest up front. We agreed it was best to talk to Karen first. They had just started dating, and if one of his girlfriends decided to be an ex, she was the logical choice. There was no need to tell his high school sweetheart unless Karen was onboard.
I TALKED THE GIRLS into joining me on the dance floor. John and Karen joined our group. We all danced as a group until the slow dances; Nancy would claim all of those for herself. I wasn’t about to argue with that decision. Even this ‘stupid boy’ had learned a few things.
It had gotten close to midnight, and people had started to get drunk. Being the only sober one in a group sucks sometimes and was the very reason why I skipped most parties. Stuff that everyone thinks is hilarious was usually just stupid. A perfect example was Chuck. The fraternity brothers had started calling him ‘Wanker.’ He wasn’t taking it very well, and then it got back to him that I was to blame. Again, funny to a lot of people, but not really to Chuck, and definitely not when Chuck was drunk.
I was dancing a slow dance with Nancy when I felt my shoulder get jerked back. I turned in time to see Chuck rear back and throw a haymaker. I reacted as I had been trained, and ducked the punch. That would have been fine if Nancy hadn’t been clipped on the side of her face. She went down in a heap, and I was torn between my desire to kick this drunk’s butt or take care of Nancy.