“Now that one wasn’t just me. Jim and the baseball team all chipped in,” I said, and then decided to tell them everything. “Look, I’m doing this for selfish reasons. Wolf’s going to be a heck of a football player in college, and maybe beyond if he continues to develop. I don’t think I could survive college without him around to cheer me up with his stupid jokes.”
Mr. Tams looked indignant, but Mrs. Tams laughed. I think I found the source of Wolf’s bad jokes. I also figured out who wore the pants in the family.
“Thank you, David. It’s good to know that Wolf has friends like you. We would love to go,” Mrs. Tams said.
“Can you do me one favor? I don’t want Wolf to feel weird about the weekend. Can we just keep this between us?” I asked.
“Of course,” Mr. Tams said.
MONA WANTED TO GO HOME after Monical’s. I gave her a kiss goodnight at the door, just a little disappointed. I had to remind myself that I shouldn’t expect sex. If it happened, it was a gift.
Chapter 8 – Band Auction
Saturday October 11
I wanted to watch the Georgia vs. Missouri and LSU vs. Florida games today. I’d have to record them if I went to the Band Auction and the party later tonight. The late game was Oregon vs. UCLA. I figured I could watch that one.
I really didn’t have high expectations for the auction. One of the band guys had called me and asked that I be there by noon. The auction started at one o’clock. He asked that I wear a sports coat. I went through my closet and settled on a white silk t-shirt with my red jacket and black slacks.
I showed up on time and was ushered backstage with all the other bachelors. I was surprised when I was the only football player. The only two that I knew fairly well were Mitch Evans, on the cross-country team, and Justin Tune, from baseball. The rest were from the band and theater departments. They all seemed like nice guys, but I never got a chance to hang out with them. I made a point to talk to each one of them. Several were nervous, so I gathered them all around me.
“Look. Nothing will be as bad as what happened to me last year. My girlfriend dumped me when she refused to bid on me, and she bid on another guy. I then was bid on by a bunch of guys,” I said with a shiver to scare them.
It had actually been my friends wanting a guys’ night out.
“I was forced to go on a ‘date’ with, like, seven guys.”
I hung my head because I remembered that was the night that Cindy and Suzanne went out with their exes behind my back.
“So, how bad could it be?” I asked.
For some reason, they weren’t encouraged by my speech. I’d have to work on that. The band guy that was running the event came back to talk to us.
“We have ten guys this year, and at last count, fifty-three girls picked up tickets. When you get out there, sell it. The funds are going to replace some of our worn-out uniforms.”
“How much money do you need to raise?” I asked.
“Anything over $750 would be enough.”
It might be worth it to just give them the money and skip out of here. I thought about bailing when he started talking again. He read off the order in which we’d be introduced and then auctioned off. I cringed when I was last. I would have to sit through this whole ordeal, worrying about if anyone would bid on me or not.
Last year Beth had organized a great event, but that was Beth. We had a dance routine and a real auctioneer. This year they just walked us out on stage. The band guy introduced one of the dads, and he tried to auction us off. I looked out into the crowd and saw only band and theater girls.
There were four that weren’t part of those two groups: Peggy Pratt, who had rejected me as boyfriend material; Jan Duke, who dumped me in middle school to go out with Justin; Lisa Felton, who every girl I knew warned me off of; and Sharon Riley, who I knew from my drinking days in middle school. I was more than a little pissed to see that Mona hadn’t shown up; nor had Reese Daniel or Sammie Goudy, who’d talked me into this. None of the other cheerleaders had shown up either.
The one that really surprised me was that Maggie hadn’t shown up. I figured this was her chance to get that date she wanted. Then I remembered that whoever won the date had to pay for it. She just didn’t seem the type to do something like that. I sent a text to the varsity cheerleaders.
‘If I don’t get bid on ...’
I left the rest to their imaginations.
The auction was going to be a disaster. The first boy up for bid was a freshman who hadn’t hit puberty yet. I had seen him in a play in middle school, and he was funny.
“Who’ll give me $25 to start the bidding off? That’s $25 ...”
You would think the auditorium was empty. I heard Justin mumble ‘Oh Christ’ under his breath. The other nine of us were getting nervous. The poor kid up front looked like he was going to puke.
“Okay, how about $20 ... $15 ... $10 ... $5 ... $1?”
Then all the girls giggled. Apparently, the first guy was a jokester.
“If you pay me $5 I’ll take him off your hands,” one of the girls offered.
“I’ll take him out for free,” another one added.
“What the heck, I’ll pay a quarter.”
He ended up going for $15. It was pure torture, both for him and for the rest of us; our stress meters were pegged. It was a good thing the next three guys had girlfriends. The unwritten rule was that the girlfriend would bid $25 and everyone else would back off. The fifth boy must have been the band stud. He raised $75. By the time it got to Mitch, the girls were getting into it.
I wasn’t surprised when Peggy opened the bidding at $25. I had a feeling that was where we stood after our parting of ways. Mitch had been pushing her to date him when we first were thinking about going out. Then Lisa Felton bid $30 and Jan Duke $35. I guess the ‘girl code’ wasn’t in place for him. It went back and forth until it reached $45. Peggy never bid after her first opener. I wondered if she’d come just to help Mitch out. Then a band girl joined the bidding at $50. Neither Lisa nor Jan had enough for that, so the band girl won Mitch.
I always thought Justin was a pig when it came to dating girls. He’d gotten Jan to go out with him while she was dating me. He then slept with her and then dumped her after he told everyone what they’d done. I played baseball with him, so I’d heard several other similar stories.
I rooted for him not to get any bids. At first, he didn’t. When it reached $10, one of the theater girls paid it. Now it was my turn.
“We saved the most eligible bachelor at Lincoln High for last. Who’ll kick off the bidding at $25?”
Crud, crickets again. I figured I’d take the bull by the horns. I took the mic from the auctioneer.
“Here’s the deaclass="underline" I’ll match whatever is bid to the band, and I’ll pay for the date. Finally, I’ll take whoever wins the bid to the Homecoming Dance. Plus, I’ll also accompany them to the party tonight,” I said.
One of the girls raised her hand.
“Would you be willing to go on a group date?”
“Sure,” I said.
“Then I bid $40,” she said for herself and three of her friends.
I handed the mic back to the dad trying to be an auctioneer.
“$50,” another group shouted out.
It got to $85 when I was floored.
“$100!” Peggy bid.
That ended up killing the other bids, and Mitch gave me a pissed-off look. I just shrugged, because I’d thought she’d decided not to date me. Maybe she was just doing it for the charity. They had everyone line up that had won bids and had them pay in order. One girl was $10 short, so I made up the difference. Peggy didn’t say a word to me while we were in line. Mitch was just two people in front of us, so I kept quiet.
When we got up to the front of the line, Mitch had left.
“How much are you guys short?” I asked the organizer.