He spoke in a soft monotone: “I guess there’s nothing more I can do.”
“That’s not what you were saying back there.” She hooked a thumb over her shoulder. “You didn’t sound like a guy about to give up.”
Jake’s laughter was bitter. “You don’t know me as well as you think you do. I give up on shit all the time.”
Kristen shook her head. “I don’t think so. You’ve got an inner strength most guys lack.”
“You’re wrong about that. But I don’t want to argue about it. The situation is what it fucking is. For some reason I don’t understand, the local law’s sided with my mom. The reality is there’s not a damn thing I can do about that. I think it’s time to say fuck it, pack my bags, and head home.”
Kristen took her hand from his leg and folded her arms beneath her breasts. The atmosphere in the car changed. “You could really do that, couldn’t you?” Her voice sounded tight, strained, each word thick with a barely contained fury. “You could just walk out on me like I was some kind of one-night stand. A casual fuck-buddy you hooked up with for your triumphant return home. You know what, Jake? Fuck you.”
Jake didn’t say anything at first. His first instinct was to confirm her worst fears. He and Kristen couldn’t be good together over the long term. It didn’t take a genius to see that their mutually self-destructive ways were a recipe for disaster. The smart thing here would be to make a relatively clean break. Just say nothing and allow this new rift to grow of its own accord. Hardly more than an hour ago he’d been certain that getting away from her was the smart thing to do. And now she’d provided him with the perfect opening. He only had to let it happen.
And yet…
Admit it.
Okay. He didn’t want to be alone. Too much had happened. Too much had changed. Too much fucking drama in too short a time. Alone he’d be more vulnerable than ever. Perhaps he’d even be a danger to himself. It wasn’t until this thought struck him that he was able to face the real truth lurking beneath his fears. The self-destructive part of him-the part he’d worked so hard to suppress in the past-didn’t want to break it off with Kristen. That part of him wanted her more than ever. It was selfish and stupid, but Jake recognized it as fact. And in the aftermath of the morning’s disasters, it was too easy to allow that part of his psyche to rule the other.
At least for a while.
He took one of her hands in his and squeezed it. “I’m sorry, Kristen. That’s not what I meant. I couldn’t leave without you. Hell, maybe you could even leave with me.”
Oops.
Where the hell did that come from?
The words had just popped out of him. He felt more like a thoughtless idiot than ever. He wanted to retract the impulsive offer, but knew he couldn’t. That was the thing about words. Once they were out there, you couldn’t take them back. And of course he knew what she would say. There was a strange sense of the course of his life proceeding along a predetermined path. He knew now what was next on that path and there was no longer anything he could do about it.
So he just waited for her to say it.
And she did.
“Okay.”
Jake nodded. “Yeah. Okay.”
She leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. “You won’t be sorry.” Her breath was soft against his ear, and he began to feel a stir of arousal. “We’ll be great together. I promise.”
Jake swallowed a lump in his throat and shifted in his seat. “Yeah. I think so, too.”
He didn’t believe it. Not really. But maybe if he said it and thought it enough times, it would come true.
Kristen’s cell phone buzzed in her purse. She sighed and nipped lightly at his earlobe. “Let me see who this is.”
She retrieved her purse from the floor, fished out her slim little phone, and looked at the number on the screen. “It’s my uncle. What the hell does he want?”
She flipped open the phone and said, “What’s up?”
There was a long moment of silence as she listened, but there was a dramatic change in her demeanor at once. Jake looked at her and frowned. Her eyes were bright with sudden tears. Her mouth hung open and her jaw quivered. She slapped her free hand over her mouth in shock. Jake dimly heard the caller’s voice, but couldn’t make out what was being said. It was obvious, though, that it was something very, very bad. His stomach clenched as he waited to hear the bad news, whatever it was.
Her voice quavered as she said, “Yes, I heard you. Yes, I understand. I know, I know. I’m sorry. I love you, too.”
She snapped the cell phone shut.
And then she screamed.
She smashed the cell phone against the dashboard. The broken phone slipped from her hand and she bashed the dashboard with her fists. She screamed again, a sound that shifted to an anguished wail. Then she was crying and hugging herself, rocking on the edge of the seat. She shook her head and plaintively said the word “no” over and over.
They were out of the Zone now. Jake spied a convenience store and pulled into its parking lot. Kristen gave no sign of realizing they’d stopped. She buried her face in her hands, tucked her head between her legs, and wailed. Jake watched her and said nothing. He was afraid to ask her what was wrong. He tried to think of what might be horrendous enough to affect her this way. He still didn’t know her very well at all. It could be anything. Thinking this, he again felt a stab of doubt. He had to be out of his mind to get in so deep with her so soon. But the doubt gave way to guilt as he heard her sobs.
Stop being an asshole, he thought.
He laid a gentle hand between her shoulder blades and for a moment the strength of her sobs only increased. Her whole body quivered. Then she came to him and he took her in his arms, stroking her hair and whispering reassuring nonsense into her ear as she cried against his neck. After maybe ten minutes of this, she eased out of the embrace and looked at him through red-rimmed eyes.
She wiped moisture from her flushed cheeks and sniffed. “Stu’s dead.”
The news hit him like a hard blow to the gut. His chest felt tight. He couldn’t breathe for a few seconds. He thought about Stu’s kindness in offering him a place to stay. Christ. Stu dead. It made no sense. And then it hit him that he’d scarcely known Stu any better than he knew Kristen. It was a shock, yes, but the anguish he felt was more intense than it should have been. Part of it was the guy’s giving, generous personality. He’d just been an all-around good guy. You didn’t have to know the man in and out to see that. The world became a darker place every time someone like that died. And Kristen had known and loved him over the course of a lifetime.
He at last found his voice and somehow managed to keep it steady. “I’m so sorry, Kristen. What happened?”
Her face crumpled at the question and fresh tears streamed down her face. She swiped at them furiously and said, “Some piece of fucking shit murdered him. My poor brother. Oh, Jake…”
Then the sobs came again and again he held her.
In a while she was able to tell what she knew of the story. Someone had invaded the mountain cabin during the night. Stu had been tortured and murdered. Lorelei was missing and presumed dead or abducted. A massive search was underway for two suspects fingered by an anonymous caller. The same tipster had alerted authorities to the crime. Police were urging the caller to come forward again, but so far it hadn’t happened.
Jake comforted her there in the car for a long time.
He never noticed the black Oldsmobile parked next to the Dumpster at the side of the convenience store.