I know I have no excuse for not acting during those last two murders. I couldn’t blame it on my wanting to see the best in people any longer. It was clear The Filmmakers were a lost cause. The only excuse I can give was that I was frightened. Not of them. No, not of those fucking cowardly boys. I was scared of myself. I am not by nature a tempestuous being but when pushed to anger I knew what I could do. I know that is no excuse and I really hope that maybe one day those two young girls will forgive me.
My inaction was over though. It had officially gone beyond anything I could tolerate and I knew it was time to do something. And if I had any last lingering reservations they certainly disappeared when those fuckers went and took it one final step further.
They began to recruit.
* * * * *
Jacob stared back at his brother in shocked silence.
‘What?’ he mumbled, even though he’d heard him the first time. He was just stalling, trying to wrap his mind around what his brother was telling him.
He studied Michael’s grinning face for any hint that this was some form of joke. He didn’t see any as he struggled to think of a reply. After the poor night’s sleep he’d had and then the DVD Michael had just shown him, he was at a loss as to what to do. It seemed like he was trapped in some macabre nightmare. He could still feel the acrid taste of the vomit in his mouth. Could still see what they had done to the girl.
And Michael was a participant. Although Jacob had kind of a gut feeling that was the case, he had sort of managed to delude himself he wasn’t. That his brother had just bought them off a friend like he’d claimed. But there was no denying it now. He’d been involved in it all. The filming of it. It made Jacob’s head spin. The sight of him wielding the blade, his lips drawn back into a hate-filled sneer. It just didn’t add up with the cheerful grin in front of him.
‘I said do you want to see it live? We’re going to do another one tomorrow. Clint’s lined it up. It’s going to be his sister.’ His brother sniggered slightly and scratched at the side of his nose. Jacob could see he’d missed a few spots of jism on his fingers.
His brother had beaten off again and this time he’d taken his time. As disturbing as the DVD had been, it was even more disturbing how Michael had kept glancing across at him as he’d played with himself. It was like he was getting as much pleasure from Jacob’s discomfort as from the action on screen.
Jacob realised he’d kept silent a little too long but just couldn’t think of anything to say. Panic was beginning to set in as he saw the strange look his brother was giving him.
‘What? Chicken are you?’ his brother goaded. ‘Hey, I thought you were a big boy now. I told the boys we could trust you. Don’t tell me I made a mistake, Jake. Don’t tell me that. Don’t…’
‘Okay.’ Jacob was startled by his agreement. It was out before he even realized he was going to say it. ‘Sure, why not.’ He hoped his voice sounded calmer than he felt.
His brother let out a hooting laugh and clapped him on the back. Jacob tried to ignore the fact he used the hand with his cum on it.
‘I knew I could count on you. You’ll see. It’s gonna be fucking awesome. It’s so fucking intense. You have no idea.’ Suddenly his brother was all energized. Waving his arms about as he spoke.
Jacob managed a wan smile in reply as Michael lifted the remains of the six-pack from beside the couch and tore two cans free. He handed one over and Jacob didn’t dare refuse it.
‘About time you had your first brew.’ His brother slapped him on the back and winked before cracking open his own can. Michael took a long swallow and Jacob fought his nausea as he watched his adam’s apple bob. He saw his brother peering at him over the rim and quickly popped open his own can. He took a hesitant sip and gagged slightly at the bitter tang. He forced himself to swallow before he looked up to see if his brother had noticed. Michael was peering at him with that strange look again and Jacob forced another swallow down.
Alarm bells were ringing in his head.
If Clint would do that to his own sister…
* * * * *
I was heartbroken when I saw that he was going to be there. That poor boy should not have to see what was going to happen but I just couldn’t wait any longer. I’d delayed long enough as it was… but I can’t help thinking how different things might have been if he’d just said no…
* * * * *
Jacob’s throat was dry as they marched in a group to the seventh Claypit. Not only had it been a long hard walk – he’d never been this deep before – but every time he looked over and saw Clint’s sister skipping along beside them, he felt like vomiting. His heart was thudding painfully and he could taste something strange and coppery at the back of his tongue. He really didn’t want to watch this. He really, really didn’t want to see what they were going to do.
He knew he shouldn’t but he couldn’t stop looking at Clint’s sister. She seemed unconcerned, bouncing about between the boys, happy to be going on an outing with her big brother. Jacob didn’t know what excuse they had used to lure her out here. He didn’t really care. He just wanted to get out of there. Even the thought of seeing her pussy, the first he’d ever see in real life, didn’t really excite him. Because he knew what would happen after. The memory of the girl on the last DVD rose in his mind and Jacob felt bile creep into his throat.
Now he was really wishing he hadn’t said okay but he knew it was a bit late for that. Sure he was scared of disappointing his brother, but what really stopped him from just turning and fleeing was that look that Michael kept shooting him. It was the same look he’d worn when he put the proposition to Jacob in the first place. The look that had said there was only one correct answer to the question. That the wrong answer would mean he’d end up like Clint’s sister. That his brother would say one day let’s go kick the footy or want to come with me to my mate’s house and they would be there waiting for him with the camera rolling.
‘Here we are,’ one of the boys announced as the group straggled to a halt. Jacob couldn’t remember his name. He’d been introduced to the boys when they met up at his house for a “pre-game drink” as they termed it but in his state of mind none of the names stuck. All he could think of was what he’d seen them doing on the DVD.
‘So what are we doing?’ Clint’s sister asked innocently, a slight look of confusion on her face and Jacob felt the pit of his stomach drop out.
The chuckle started with Michael, who stood behind the girl’s left shoulder, and spread out on both sides of him, taken up by the other boys as they formed a circle around the now very confused girl.
‘What are you doing?’ The fear was creeping into her face and Jacob felt like something inside him was breaking.
Even though he’d been asked along it appeared as though the others had forgotten him. All eyes were focused on Clint’s sister. When he looked into their faces, he was glad of that fact. He took a step back but it was like all the strength had leached from his legs and he staggered into a crouch, his hands held up to the side of his head.
Clint was the first to show his knife. The others quickly followed suit.
As he watched the girl’s face crumple in fear, Jacob felt wetness on his cheeks and abruptly realised he was crying.
‘No,’ he tried to scream but it only came out as a breathless whisper.