Because as I fell in step with the other mourners and started the long trek across the room, I knew what I was going to do. I was going to pull the veils from Maxen in front of his congregation, to show that even men made of points of light are capable of sin.
On the way across the anteroom I spotted Chief of Police McAuley amongst the crowd, and hung well back. He, of all the people there, would recognize me on sight. Thankfully, McAuley was too busy smarming some dignitary to look in my direction. I stayed well at the back of the room when we entered the chapel, and sat at the end of a row. The chapel was dark and surprisingly small, and the guests would fill it to capacity. In front of me I could sense scuffles as people fought as politely as possible for the best seats, but the sound meant little to me. I seemed to be retreating inside my own head, into some inner space where all was quiet.
I was going home. Perhaps all it ever takes is a little effort, a realization that you’ve spent too long living in the front of your mind, and that you can throw the doors to the back room wide. I knew that I had made the right decision, and that if my timing was right, I might even be able to carry it through before I went down.
As I waited for the service to start, my eyes wandered over the chapel walls, which were dark with stained and polished wood. After so many years of running, I was surprised to find myself, at last, in a place of such peace. The columns in the room had been made out of single tree trunks, varnished but left irregular and true. Probably no one else in the room understood that this chapel had nothing to do with Christianity, and was instead a tribute to the secrets Maxen had learned during his own time as a soldier in The Gap. Sure, there were crucifixes and icons in all the right places; but the only illumination was from the thousands of candles which stood in rows on every surface, and the light they gave off, soft and buttery, could be a reminder of only one place. All it needed was a few blue lights hidden in corners, and everything would have been perfect.
Everyone was seated eventually, and the service started. I was remembering times spent crouched behind trees, in the calm before firestorms, every fiber of my soul attuned and listening for the music of life and death. A small choir sang something old and well-meant, probably the choice of Louella’s mother: The archaic, carved phrases echoed round the chapel like bewildered birds trying to find their nest.
Louella’s brother stood up then, and made his way to the lectern. He gave a short speech, with due emphasis on how productive a member of society his sister had been. His words were perfectly relayed around the room by the PA system, and the old woman sitting next to me started to cry, messing up the sleeve of her dress. It didn’t really matter; she wouldn’t be wearing it again. I couldn’t believe she’d known Louella, and I wished Nearly was with me. This was what I’d been trying to tell her the night before—that our bodies are pushed into action by emotion they have no control over, and I had no patience with it anymore. The real world had to learn how to deal with The Gap, or nothing would ever make sense.
Then there was more singing from the choir. As the singing ended, I heard stirring from the people around me. A glance at the order of service told me why: the big moment was approaching, when New Richmond’s nearest stab at deity would reach down his hand and bestow the largesse of his ready-to-wear compassion. The guests sat up straighter, peered forward intently into the gloom, and as the final note of the music died into nothing around us, a figure stood at the front of the chapel and made his way to the lectern.
Like everyone else, at first I did nothing more than stare. Arlond Maxen looked stern, and distant; but that’s the way we like them. We’re all just looking for Daddy, and sometimes fathers are unkind. Maxen was of medium height, wearing a dark suit, and his graying hair was swept back from his temples. The glasses he wore made his eyes oblique, as if even in the flesh you couldn’t touch them, as if he’d always be behind a screen. There was something so lustrous about his power and wealth, even from that distance, that for a second I was taken aback, made to wonder whether people like me could ever really affect the world of someone like him.
The moment when I stood up reminded me of something, as if the echo of a shot I’d once fired had finally rebounded off all the mountains in the world and come back into my head for good. I guess people assumed my standing up was part of the memorial service, at first, or maybe that a guest had simply lost his mind. I walked with my head up and shoulders back, straight down the center of the aisle.
The chapel was utterly silent, and my footsteps clapped like a slow knocking on some heavy door. By the time I was halfway there I began to hear murmurings, and sensed movement in the shadows over to one side of the chapel. I relied upon my prediction that the guards would not risk sending a shot off across the chapel when New Richmond’s finest citizens were hunkered down on each side, and kept on walking, my eyes fixed on Maxen, his staring back at me.
When I was a few yards away I pulled out my gun, and the atmosphere behind me changed immediately. But then it was too late. Two short paces put me a couple of steps below Maxen, the muzzle of my weapon pointed squarely at his forehead Now there was definite movement in the corners of the room, as security men came out of nowhere on the peripheries of the chapel, and rifles appeared on their shoulders. They stayed out of sight of the guests, but I could feel the red points of laser sights all over my back. They had a clear shot at me, but were waiting for a signal. Like everyone else in New Richmond, Maxen had them well trained. Added to which, if they shot me there was a real danger the shells would pass through my body and make it into Maxen, traveling much slower by then, and doing a lot of damage to their lord and master. Not a risk any of them was prepared to take.
“Tell them,” I said to Maxen. “Tell them that if anyone shoots I’ll have more than enough time to smear the back of your head all over the wall behind you.”
Maxen stared down at me, his face impassive. Though only five years my senior, he looked as if he were made out of tectonic plates. His face was tired and stoic, and reminded me of something I’d seen in his wife’s.
“You’re going to shoot me anyway, Randall,” he said. “So what difference does it make?”
“No,” I said. “I’m not going to shoot you. I was going to, but instead I’m going to do something worse. I’m going to tell these people a little story, and then I’ll let you live.”
“Then you’ll die.”
I shrugged. “It happens.”
Maxen flicked his eyes to the corners of the room and held his hands out. I walked the remaining steps toward him, my gun still centered on Maxen’s face, then turned to face the congregation.
In front of me were five hundred pairs of eyes, all unblinking. I grabbed Maxen around the neck and pressed my gun up under his chin. It fit there neatly, as if it had been waiting for this moment most of its life. Perhaps we all had—me, Maxen, and a gun. The crowd gasped quietly, too shocked to do anything except let their bodies unconsciously react. My head was filled with white noise, as if the circuits were burning out.
“Louella Richardson wasn’t killed by accident,” I said, trying to make it as simple as possible. The microphone picked up my voice and sent it ringing out around the room. “Louella was killed for fun. Louella was killed by a man hired by Mr. Maxen.”
I don’t know what I was expecting, but it didn’t happen. The room was utterly silent. The eyes kept staring up at me, but I could see no change in their expression. Maxen stood stiffly by my side, the shaved underside of his chin smooth against my wrist.
I started again. “This same man killed four other women, and some friends of mine. But the only one who lived above the hundred line was Louella, and so that’s why you’re here today. Not because Arlond Maxen gives a shit, but because he’s guilty. It’s his fault that these women all died and he thinks that if he does this it will cover the smell in his head.”