Breakfast drags on for what seems like forever. All I can think of is getting back to my room to make sure Crew is doing all right. I’m in the middle of cooking my last omelet before I shut the lodge kitchen down, when I’m interrupted by a knock on the wall. Turning around, I’m half expecting to see Crew himself, but instead, I find Mary leaning in the doorway, her eyes looking even more tired than they did yesterday.
“Hey, Mary.” I fake a smile, my voice overly chirpy. “Have you had breakfast yet?”
She pats her belly with an equally forced grin. “You know I don’t miss one of your breakfasts, Hudson,” she replies sincerely as she crosses the linoleum floor toward me. “It’s my son I’m worried about not eating. I’m not sure he’s had a proper meal or bout of sleep since everything happened.”
“He did sleep last night; at least, he was out when I woke up this morning, but I’m not sure about food. I was planning on taking him some breakfast once I was finished up here.” I stop talking as I plate the ham, cheese, and egg concoction then return my gaze to her. “Have you talked to him this morning?”
She shakes her head sharply and looks down at the ground. “No, he’s refusing to talk to me right now. The only thing he’s said to me since the morning he found him was ‘I hope it was a damn good movie.’”
“Mary—” I reach out to touch her, to comfort her, but she holds her hands up in front of her.
“It’s okay. I understand he’s angry, and I don’t want to push him,” she asserts, though the emotions on her face don’t match the words coming out of her mouth. “This isn’t easy on any of us, you and your family included. I just wanted to let you know I talked to Mel and Doug this morning and thanked them for offering us the cabin the last few days. I know neither of us wants to go back to that apartment anytime soon—I’m not sure I’ll ever be—but we can’t stay here forever either. So, for now, I’m gonna stay at Luke’s apartment until I figure out what happens next, and Crew is gonna stay with you. If that’s okay?”
A little shocked, I nod my head and inhale a deep breath. “Yeah, of course, but are you sure?”
“Hudson, I realize you and Crew have only known each other for a little while, but I say this with the certainty only a mother can have about their child.” She places her hands on my shoulders and smiles a sad smile. “If there’s anyone who can save him from the hell he’s about to go through, it’s gonna be you. From the very beginning, the two of you have shared something special, something intangible…indescribable, and all I ask is that you try to hold on to that during the rocky times ahead. Please don’t give up on him.”
Jarring awake, I knife up in the bed, gasping for air as sweat beads across my forehead and my pounding heart threatens to crack every rib I have. Not knowing where I am, my eyes frantically sweep the surroundings, my mind stuck somewhere in the hazy area between unconscious and alert. Shadows bathe the room, created by the moonlight streaming through the window, and it's not until my gaze lands on the small, naked female figure next to me that I remember where I am.
Hudson's room.
The place I've been holed up for the last couple of days, only leaving to take care of business in the bathroom. The only place I don't have to see or talk to anyone except her. And although I hate her as much as I hate everyone else right now, at times even more than the others, inside of her is the only refuge I can find from this torturous hell I live in, an escape from the nightmare that doesn't stop even after I open my eyes. My darkness has no concept of time. It threatens to consume me every minute of every hour of every day.
As if she can hear my thoughts in her sleep, she rolls over on her side and presses her panty-less ass against my thigh. An invitation to block out the most recent reel of haunting images playing on a continuous loop in my head.
Lying back down, I grab my cock with one hand, stroking it from balls to tip several times until I'm hard, while I lick the other and lower it between her legs, smearing the moisture from my fingers against her bare lips. She stirs at my touch, her body stiffening momentarily then relaxing as I slip a finger inside her. I'm not sure if she's awake or dreaming, but I really don't fucking care either way. I need her, and she owes me. Unfortunately, it's a debt she can never repay.
I scoot down the mattress, lining the head of my cock up with her now slick entrance, and as I slam inside of her tight pussy, Caleb's lifeless body flashes behind my closed lids. Fuck. Pulling out almost all the way, I pound into her again, and then again, trying to block out the blood, so much blood. My fingers bite into her hips, digging with a force so great I'm afraid I could fracture the bone if I wanted to...and a small part of me kinda does.
She’s lying there silently. I don’t know what she’s feeling, what she’s thinking, but her wellbeing is the farthest thing from my mind. I drive harder and plunge deeper, punishing her for making me fall in love with her and blinding me to my responsibilities. Angrily squeezing my eyes tighter, I fuck her without restraint, chasing the few seconds of oblivion I so desperately crave.
As my release surges through me, I flex my hips one last time and bury my cock in her wet heat, losing myself in the overwhelming ecstasy. For a few short-lived minutes, life is good. I hold Hudson close to me and nestle my face against the back of her neck, softly kissing the smooth skin while whispering my appreciation for her taking care of me. But the light passes quickly, and the second our bodies are no longer connected, I'm lost to the bitter bleakness yet again.
I’m not sure how long Beckham’s been tapping on my car window, but based on the mixture of concern and frustration on his face, I’d guess for a while. After I pop the unlock switch on the door, I scrub my hands over my face, trying to scour away the daze I can’t seem to snap out of.
“Hey, you. I missed ya last week.” His eyes are filled with pity as he slides onto the passenger seat and gently pats the top of my hand. “Tasha told me about your boy’s brother. I’m really sorry to hear what happened. That’s terrible.”
“Yeah.” It’s the only word I can come up with. Really, what else is there to say? I don’t even have it in me to be irritated at the sound of the skank’s name. I’d just rather be numb.
He shifts his weight to better face me, his hand still softly stroking my wrist and forearm. The tender touch feels nice, quite the opposite of the treatment I’ve received from Crew this last week—which has either been nonexistent, or cold and callous—so I don’t bother stopping him. Losing Caleb, especially when I’d made healing him my top priority, has shredded me as well, and I understand Crew isn’t in the place to offer consoling, but I’ll take it where I can get it.
“Is there anything I can do for you? I’ll help in any way I can,” he offers, his tone heartfelt.
Shrugging my shoulders despondently, I pull a doobie out of the case and light it up. “Nah, not that I can think of, unless you can take my finals for me,” I reply wryly after exhaling a puff of smoke.
I pass him the joint as he chuckles under his breath, then watch as he takes a long drag. “I’m not sure I can pull that off, but I’ll be happy to help you study. When’s your first exam?”