“The point is that demons are interested in SM for different reasons than humans. I’ve kind of trained Adam to treat it in a human way, but what he did to you was pure demon. Don’t confuse it with BDSM. They’re not the same at all.”
I chewed that over for a bit, knowing that if I ever broke free of my own altered state, brought about by shock and emotional pain, I was going to be mortified about this conversation. But then again, if I was having this conversation with Dom, then I wasn’t thinking about Brian or about my session in the black room.
“I guess that makes sense,” I finally said. “I’m not sure I really understand it, but it makes sense.” I frowned. “Of course, that sentence doesn’t make sense.” Hmm, maybe the Frangelico was starting to get to me. Since I wasn’t a big drinker, it didn’t take much to make me loopy.
I was saved from making any more silly, incoherent statements—and from asking any more questions that would embarrass me later—when Adam joined us in the kitchen. I was staring into my cup again, but I still managed to catch the warning look that Dom gave Adam.
Adam sat at the table across from me. “I’m sorry if talking about this makes me insensitive,” he said.
“Adam…” Dominic said.
“I think it’s important we establish just what we’re dealing with in Barbara Paget,” Adam said. “And it’s now obvious that she did, in fact, break in and snoop around.”
I found my courage somewhere and lifted my gaze from the depths of my coffee cup. “How is that obvious?”
“Like I was saying before, I clean my whips. At least, I did when I had need.”
Meaning back when Dominic was possessed, and their “play” involved bloodshed. I knew that was not the case anymore, that Adam was very careful with his lover. I still shuddered at the thought.
“But that time with you,” Adam continued, “I put the whip back in its box for a little bit before I got around to cleaning it. I hadn’t opened the box since, but when I did just now, I saw that all the padding inside had been removed.”
I blinked a couple of times, my thoughts feeling sluggish, either from stress or from booze. “So Barbie broke into your house and stole the padding from the box.”
Adam nodded. “Along with a few other things that I’d probably never have noticed if she hadn’t sent that stuff to Brian. But here’s the part that’s really disturbing— not only did she steal the stuff, but she also had access to someone who was able to analyze the blood and identify it as yours.”
That didn’t sound good at all. “I guess I need to go have a chat with Private Eye Barbie tomorrow.”
“No, I think we need to go have a chat with her,” Adam countered.
And, realizing that my mental faculties probably wouldn’t be much sharper tomorrow than they were today, I had to agree.
CHAPTER 9
I leftDom and Adam’s place at around eight, when Saul got back from wherever he’d been. I’d pretended not to notice the pointed looks Adam was giving me. There was no way in hell I was inviting Saul to stay at my place tonight. I could hardly stand my own company, much less Saul’s.
When I got home, I went directly to bed, even though it was way too early for that. I put on my comfiest PJs and pulled the covers up over my head, wishing myself into a deep and oblivious sleep.
The sleep itself came with surprising ease. Amazing how much having the love of your life accuse you of cheating on him can take out of a girl. I should have known better than to hope for oblivion, however.
Once again, there was a merry fire crackling in the fireplace in Lugh’s living room, and the air held just enough chill to make the warmth welcome. However, this time I was lying down on the butter-soft sofa, my head pillowed against the armrest. A cashmere-soft blanket was tucked snugly around me. My feet were propped on Lugh’s lap, and under the blanket, he was running his thumbs up and down their soles with just the right amount of pressure to make my toes curl pleasantly.
For just a moment, I felt warm, and comfortable, and cherished. Then my mind clicked back into gear and I remembered my disastrous evening. I closed my eyes and then covered them with my forearm. Lugh continued to massage my feet, and though I could only describe the touch as sensual, I knew that he didn’t have seduction on his mind, that he was merely trying to comfort me.
Silence stretched for what seemed like an eternity, and I think I would have fallen asleep, if I hadn’t been asleep already. I kept waiting for Lugh to say something, but he didn’t. He just kept rubbing my feet soothingly.
Eventually, the silence got to me, and I had to break it.
“Aren’t you going to reassure me that everything’s going to be okay?” I asked, and I’m afraid my voice sounded a little plaintive and childlike.
I heard him draw in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Demons are capable of many things that humans are not, but seeing the future isn’t one of them.”
I dragged my arm away from my eyes and forced them open. Lugh was watching my face, his amber eyes serious, and intense, and hard to read. I frowned.
“That’s a pretty noncommittal answer.”
His hands stilled on my feet, though he didn’t withdraw his touch. “One thing I have never done is tell you soothing lies. I don’t plan to start now.”
My throat tightened and my eyes burned. “In other words, you think it’s over between me and Brian. For good.”
He shook his head. “I didn’t say that.” He regarded me gravely. “But I suspect this rift is going to be hard to repair. And if it’s going to be repaired, you’re going to have to put a lot of effort into it.”
I swallowed past my tight throat. “I bet Adam can get some expert somewhere to verify that the photo was doctored. I mean, any idiot with PhotoShop could have done it, but surely there’s some way you can tell. And once Brian knows the photo is fake, he’ll listen to me about the rest.”
Lugh raised an eyebrow at me. “And if Brian is persuaded that you didn’t have an affair with Adam, will that make things all better between you?”
I had to suppress a groan, because I’d already realized earlier this evening that it wouldn’t. He was far from the only injured party in this mess.
“Don’t rub it in, okay? I feel shitty enough already.”
“It was not my intention to rub it in. I’m just explaining why I haven’t said what you wanted to hear.”
I nodded. “Okay, fine. If you’re not going to whisper sweet nothings, is there any particular reason we need to talk right now? Can’t you just let me sleep?” Talking wasn’t going to make anything better, so I’d just as soon have done without.
“It has always been my impression that humans appreciate having a shoulder to cry on when they are having romantic difficulties.”
I snorted. “You know perfectly well I’m not the crying-on-shoulders type. Try again.” There was something he wanted from me. He just hadn’t gotten around to telling me what yet. Whatever it was, I wasn’t in the mood to give it to him. I just wanted to crawl into my little hidey-hole and disappear until the pain went away. Too bad life didn’t work that way.
“Maybe I just wanted to remind you that you weren’t alone,” he said softly, looking at the fire, not at me. He smiled faintly, but it looked forced. “Or maybe I figured if I didn’t talk to you tonight, you’d be angry with me for my perceived desertion.”
Despite my less-than-alert state of mind, I was beginning to hear the faint ringing of warning bells in my brain. It wasn’t like Lugh to be this cagey. It took a considerable amount of willpower to move, but I forced myself to sit up and slide my feet off of his lap. I wrapped the sinfully soft blanket tightly around me, not sure what Lugh had dressed me in for this dream and not wanting to find out.