“Like a translucent blood sausage. So… relatively normal.” She closed the door behind her. “We need to talk, Jake.”
This had been brewing since she’d laid hands on him last night and discovered the new spells. There were no chairs so he gestured at the bed. “Have a seat.” Then he went over and leaned on the windowsill a respectful distance away. It wouldn’t be polite to sit on a bed next to a married woman. Jake Sullivan, despite what some might say, always tried to be a gentleman to those that deserved it. “I figure I know why you’re here. Let me say-”
“You are an idiot,” Jane snapped. Sullivan nodded. He’d predicted that response. “A damn fool idiot. Do you have any idea how dangerous carving magic onto yourself is?”
“I believe I do.”
“No. I don’t think so.” Jane was exasperated. She had been a child when the Harkeness family had come over from Eastern Europe, but the more excited she got, the more her heritage showed up in her pronunciation, accenting the wrong syllables. “The Society has been experimenting for decades, trying to get those horrid things to work right. Many foolish knights have died in horrible pain, while others became twisted and inhuman. Putting a spell onto metal or glass is one thing, putting one onto living flesh is different.”
“Yeah.” Sullivan chuckled. “The metal don’t scream while you do it. They really hurt when you bind them on.”
“Yes. I would imagine mutilating yourself with magic would… Why? Why would you risk that?”
He didn’t answer because Jane already knew the answer.
She folded her arms and glared at him. “Are you trying to become our version of an Iron Guard then? You expect to beat them at their own game?”
“I do.”
“Then you are an even bigger fool than I thought. The Iron Guard lose more of their humanity with each spell they take. They’re weapons, not people. They’re monsters!”
“My brother was a monster a real long time before he hooked up with the Japanese or got branded with a kanji, Jane. I ain’t Madi.”
“I… I did not mean…” Jane shut her mouth and turned red. Madi had soundly beaten them all and captured her. If they hadn’t come after her, Jane would either be an Imperium slave or a Unit 731 experiment, and they both knew it. “Of course, you are nothing like your brother. He was a beast. You are a decent man.”
“I wouldn’t go that far… Look, I know what I’ve done is dangerous. So what? It’s dangerous every time we face those bastards. I’ve seen the Power like nobody else has. That’s how come I can make this work. That’s why I have to make them work. Until we figure out how to match the Iron Guard, they’re going to keep on beating us. The only reason we rescued you off the Tokugawa was because the Chairman was too amused watching us fight until it was too late.”
“And I thank God every single day for what you all did for me, but-”
“But if I’d just been a little better before…” Sullivan trailed off. “Never mind.”
“You’re thinking of Delilah?”
He couldn’t answer. Sullivan stood up and looked out the window at the dead grey fields. “Maybe.”
“Jake! Her death was not your fault.”
“Not a day goes by that I don’t ask myself if I could’ve done something more.”
Jane wouldn’t let it go. “I don’t think she’d want to see you killing yourself trying to avenge her.”
“Delilah’s dead. She don’t get a vote.”
“Risking your life won’t bring her back.”
“Of course it won’t. It ain’t like that… It’s… Shit. Never mind.” She could never understand. Her Power fixed people. His Power broke people. The only good thing he could accomplish in this world was breaking those that needed it, and one of the times he’d really needed it, he hadn’t been strong enough to get the job done. “I’m not stupid, Jane.”
“Could have fooled me. I see four working spells bound to your body, and two other attempts that did not stick. Grisly work.”
“You can tell just by looking?”
Jane gave a resigned sigh. “Four are alive with magic. Two are simply scar tissue. So which one of my over-exuberant and dangerously naive colleagues assisted you in this foolishness? Was it Heinrich? He was certainly crazy enough to try.”
“No, but he wanted the same one for Healing that I figured out after Faye shot me in the heart. I’ve done a couple of those now. It’s actually not too hard. No, I didn’t have help. I carved these on my own.”
“You did what? ”
He had created them by himself with only a memory of the Power’s geometries, a steady hand, a sharp knife, some Summoned smoke, whiskey to dull the pain, and a mirror so he could see his own chest while he worked. “You’d be surprised what a man can accomplish with a little motivation. Hard part is doing it backwards in the mirror.”
“You’re insane.”
Sullivan laughed and returned to sitting on the windowsill. “Maybe. Not like there’s a lot of sanity to spare in this outfit. Sane folks don’t go around poking the Imperium in the eye. Look, Jane, something big is coming. I can feel it in my bones. Maybe it’s this scout creature, maybe it’s the big Enemy it serves, maybe it’s just the winds of change blowing. Hell, I don’t rightly know. But whatever it is, I’m going to be as ready as I can be.”
Jane was staring at him again. “You’re wearing three of those Healing spells.”
“That’s the first one I learned. Figured I’d practice it a few more times before trying it on anyone else. There seems to be a point of diminishing returns though. Each one of the same kind feels like it does a little less. Madi said he had five of these, so I’m assuming that’s the max, but you saw how damn hard he was to put down.”
“Cutting him in half seemed to do the trick.” Jane actually gave a little smile. “Served him right. What’s that other one?”
“This?” Sullivan touched a spot on his left side. “I don’t rightly know. Found the design in a box of Cracker Jacks, figured I’d slap it on and see what happened.”
“Jake!”
“I’m kidding.” He opened his shirt and showed off the intricate scar. “That’s what the area of the Power that affects gravitation looks like.” Through years of determined practice, Sullivan already had a better connection to the Power than most, and had even blurred the lines between his abilities into other areas of the Power. The latest mark had been an experiment in pushing those boundaries even further. “It was an experiment. Seemed to increase my reserves, and I think it made my magic a little stronger.”
“You think? That’s reassuring.”
His stomach rumbled. “You going to keep yelling at me? Because if you are we can do it over lunch just as easy.”
“You Heavies are always hungry… Such large men with such rapid metabolisms, it is understandable.” Jane shook her head sadly. “I know why you are doing this to yourself. Men like Madi cannot be allowed to win. If the rest of us are willing to risk our lives to stop that, then why should I expect less from you… Fine! Would you please just promise me that you won’t do any more of these?”
“I never give my word when I don’t intend to keep it, so no. I’ll do whatever I think is necessary. If that means more binding, then that’s what I’ll do.”
Jane frowned. “Not that I want to encourage this madness, but how about you don’t do any more stupid and potentially lethal experiments on yourself, without me, your Healer, there to keep your heart from exploding?”
“I can agree to that… If it’s possible, you can help keep me from dying.” Besides, Jane didn’t need to know, but it had become increasingly difficult to come back from each new spell. He was nervous about trying any more without a Healer around anyway. “Do me a favor though. Don’t tell anybody what I’ve done. The others don’t need to know.”
“You don’t want them to worry? Why, I’m rather surprised.”