Another roadblock, another song and dance with my identity papers, and I'm now driving east to Arbil. This is officially Kurd country, for Arbil is considered the Kurdish capital in Iraq. Both of the two main Kurdish political parties, the KDP and the PUK, have their headquarters in Arbil. Considered to be one of the world's oldest cities, Arbil dates back past the Romans and Alexander the Great's time to Neanderthal Man, whose relics have been discovered there. The modern portion sits atop a mound that's been formed by successive building over centuries.
The scenery in Iraqi Kurdistan contrasts sharply with the rest of the country. Here there are high mountains and colorful, fertile valleys. The mountain ranges grow more impressive the farther north you go and are commonly referred to as "the Alps of the Middle East." Throughout history the mountains acted as a natural barrier for a society that has been eager to preserve its culture. Ethnically, the Kurds have no relationship with Arabs. They were allies of the U.S. during the Iraq War, in theory at least. I wonder if I'll be able to trust them.
The sun is setting as I approach Arbil. Lights up ahead indicate I need to slow down--another roadblock. Four men surround the Toyota when I stop. They're dressed in Iraqi police uniforms, but somehow I get the feeling that something's not right. Two men carry rifles and the third has a handgun.
As soon as I lower my window, the man with a handgun points it in my face. "We're going for a ride, friend," he says in Arabic. These guys aren't Kurds.
"I have my papers if you want to see them," I say in his language.
"Shut up!" he commands again. He waits until his three companions get in the backseat of the car. The guy with the handgun goes around the car and gets in on the passenger side. He keeps it trained at my head.
The man without a gun sitting in the backseat says, "Now drive that way," pointing to a dark dirt road leading off the highway. There's nothing I can do but obey. I put the Toyota in drive and follow their directions. The road moves off into the thicket. Were it not for the headlights, I wouldn't be able to see a thing.
"Where are we going?" I ask in Arabic.
"You'll see," the backseat driver says. "Just shut up and drive."
Three minutes later we're approximately a mile from the main highway. The man in back tells me to stop the car, leave the headlights on, and get out.
I have no choice but to comply. I open the door and step out, followed by all four men. It's now very dark outside, but the car's headlights illuminate the area well enough to see. The unarmed man, obviously the leader, roughly turns me around and pushes me against the car. "Get your hands up, on top of your head!" he orders.
I do so, but I'm getting pissed off. I'm not about to let these guys manhandle me. The asshole starts to frisk me. I'm thankful I left the Five-seveN in the glove compartment, but I need to think of a way to keep them out of the car.
"I'm with Interpol," I say. "I have clearance with your government."
"Shut up!"
The guy with the pistol grins at me. I see now that he's missing three teeth and is the ugliest son of a bitch I've seen since I got to Iraq. "Where did you get the nice car, my friend?" he asks.
The one frisking me, apparently looking for money, demands, "Where's your wallet?"
"I don't carry one," I say truthfully.
He grabs my shoulder and pulls me away from the car. All four of them are now facing me. The two with rifles hold their weapons across their chests, not aiming them yet. The guns appear to be Hakims. No-Tooth, though, has a Smith & Wesson 38 Special revolver. Probably a black-market item.
"I think we'll take your car, then," the leader says. The other three laugh. "We need it to move some boxes." They laugh some more. "There we were, sitting and waiting for some friends to bring us a truck to help us move our things, but I think your big car will do fine. May we borrow it?" More laughs.
"Where are you from, my friend?" No-Tooth asks. He twirls his revolver around his finger as if he were in a John Wayne Western. "We don't see many Westerners who speak Arabic."
"I'm Swiss," I say. "I'm a police officer with Interpol. I suggest you let me be on my way."
"Oh, you suggestthat we let you be on your way?" the leader mocks me as he takes a step closer. "Listen, I suggest that you get down on your knees and pray because you're about to kiss the earth goodbye."
Come on, I think. Move just another step closer.
"You want me to get on my knees?" I ask.
"That's what I said!"
I look at the ground and point. "Right here?"
That does the trick. He takes another step and starts to say, "Yes, right th--"
Before he finishes I kick him fast and hard in the crotch. I don't stop there, though. I move in like lightning, using an advanced Krav Maga technique to grab hold of his upper body and pull him toward me as the toothless guy fires his gun. The leader takes the round in the back, and then I shove his body at No-Tooth with such force that they both fall to the ground.
Before the guys with rifles can react, I grab the barrel of one of the guns with my left hand, place my right hand beneath the butt, and use a levering jerk to yank it out of the surprised man's hands. Before the second rifleman can level his gun and fire it, I swing the butt of my new rifle around and clobber him in the face. He screams, drops his weapon, and falls to his knees, clutching his head. The first rifleman, now weaponless, growls, ready to rush at me. I slam the rifle butt into his nose and then use my right foot to kick him in the chest. Stunned, he stumbles away from me but doesn't go down. I then toss the rifle in the air, giving it a slight twirl so that it swings around like a baton. I catch it with the butt against me and the barrel pointing the way it's supposed to. I squeeze the trigger and the guy takes the round at point-blank range. He falls in his tracks.
I swing the Hakim around to No-Tooth, but he's no longer on the ground by the dead leader. I see him running into the dark thicket. I consider raising the rifle and taking him out, but I decide to let him go lick his wounds. I really can't imagine where he'll go in this rough terrain at night. The leader and one rifleman are dead. That leaves the guy whose face I smashed in. He's still on his knees, moaning. I think I broke his cheekbone.
"You," I say. "Stop whining and talk to me."
The man looks at me, wide-eyed. He can't believe I overpowered four men. The right side of his face is already swelling, giving him a lopsided appearance.
"Who are you?" I ask. "You're not the police."
The man babbles something in Arabic, and I raise the rifle butt, indicating I might strike him again.
He tells me his name and the names of the other three men. All generic Arabic names that seem to be interchangeable in the Middle East.
"Where did you get the police uniforms?"
He tells me that the police hired them to act as militia. That story doesn't ring true to me.
"Where are you from?" I ask.
Again, the babbling. This time I play rough. I ram the rifle butt into his shoulder. He cries out and falls back. I stand over him and ask him again where he's from.
"Iran," he tells me. He and his three companions are from Iran.
"What are you doing in Iraq?"