As the letters from Barbara began to arrive with greater frequency in the spring of 1961, Frank tried to stay positive. But he was a man who was clearly struggling with the same sort of suspicions that had provided tension for the entirety of his marriage.
30 April 1961
My Dearest Barbara,
Today is the thirtieth of April and I won’t be able to mail this letter until after the holidays (May 1st + 2nd), but since I received this letter this afternoon I have been in a pretty good mood and thought I would start an answer anyway. Your letters certainly do a lot to cheer me up.
Since we neither one know how long we are to be separated it might be a good idea if you did buy a house. That way, instead of paying rent you could be paying for a house that we could probably sell later and maybe get the money back that would be completely lost as rent.
If I thought I would be home in the next few months I would advise against it but as it is it may be years so I suppose we should act as if it were going to be for nine more. I certainly hope it won’t be but things do not look good.
The house you were telling me about sounds pretty good. Of course I have to rely on your judgment. Just make sure, for one thing, that the house you choose is high enough so that there is no danger of floods, etc. like you had there a few months ago.
It would be nice if I could see the plans of the house and grounds but since it takes so long for mail it would probably be best to go ahead without waiting for an answer from me.
I am sure Fred would be glad to help you and since he works for a Real Estate Agency he should know what to look for and how to choose and also if the price was reasonable.
You say that the man’s equity is $7000. You should have enough with the money received from the sale of the Buick and what I had in the checking account to take care of that. Try not to touch the Calif. Saving account. Also you should have saved quite a lot from your allowance in a year’s time so that there should be no need to put us in a tight place.
Maybe the house you mentioned is already sold. If not use your own judgment but be careful.
Does the house have a basement? What kind of heat? Just give me a complete rundown on everything. One other thing—buy it in both our names. Oh yes, how much property tax a year?
Who is the doctor you are going to who gave you the information about the house? Does he work at the State hospital? Also does he have anything to do with the house you were telling me about?
Well—just do as you think best. There is nothing I can do to help from here. You are on your own. I know of no one who I think could show more judgment in such things than you. Anything you do I am sure will be all right with me.
I am starting again where I left off last night. It is now the first of May and I have been in prison a year. It isn’t a happy occasion so I would not be celebrating even if I were able to.
Darling, I hope you will not get angry at what I [am] about to say but I feel I must say it anyway. You have now experienced a year’s separation. I know that it has been a very long, lonely, and difficult time for you. Probably more than for me since you are faced every day with temptation that I in my position do not have to worry about. In the face of these temptations and the fact that we may be separated for a much longer time, are you sure that you want to continue being married in name only? Have you met anyone who may already or in the future come to mean more to you than a husband who cannot be with you?
I want you to be honest to yourself and to me when you answer these questions. I want you to take into consideration that we very likely will be separated for several more years. Maybe not if there were an improvement in the international situation. There are in my opinion two ways that my situation could improve. One is for the US Government to strive for an improvement in international relations; the other would be for the Government to negotiate diplomatically on my behalf. It is quite obvious they have done neither so as I said before there is a very good possibility of our separation being for an extended length of time.
Darling, I am not thinking so much of myself as I am of you when I ask you to consider these things. You are still young and it isn’t fair to you for me to ask you to waste the best years of your life in waiting for a husband who may be gone for a long time. I tell you truthfully Barbara that I would understand if you did not want to wait and I would not think bad of you if you decided not to do so. On the other hand I would never like to reproach you after being released for something which I am unable to forgive my wife. The consequences would be obvious but only delayed un-necessarily with disadvantages to both but mostly to you.
I don’t want you to get the impression that I want you to do anything. That is very far from my mind and heart. The only thing is if the conditions are to be then it would be much better to either head that off or take steps that would be advantageous to both of us without making a bad situation worse.
I am sure you know that I love you and I am sure you realize I would never have married you if I thought I could not trust you. So don’t think I am accusing for I am not. I only want you to know how I feel and I only want what is fair and right for you. Ours is far from being a normal situation and I do not feel that I have the right to make you think you are bound to me if you felt you would be happier free.
If I didn’t feel I could trust you I would never agree to buying a house. I want you to know that I love you more now than before if that is possible. I know I will love you always even if I am required to stay here ninety more years instead of nine and it is because I love you so much that I want you to be happy.
As I said before, please don’t be angry with me for stating what I feel. I only want to be fair with you in all respects.
Well. To get back to answering your letter, I have only read one of the sixteen books that you sent. I haven’t received them yet but expect and hope they arrive about the sixteenth of this month when I usually receive the package from the Embassy. Don’t worry about the selection of future books; the important thing is that I have something to read so that I can pass the time easier.
You ask about the temperature in Moscow in the hottest summer months. All I can go by is last summer’s experience. July was uncomfortably hot. June was very nice a little cold around the latter part of May but comfortable. Around the middle of August it began getting cool again as you know. The sun has been shining a lot during the last two or three weeks of April. It snowed a little on the first of May (yesterday) but when the sun is shinny [sic] it is nice but rather cool in the shade or when it is cloudy.
Well, Darling, I guess that is all for this time. Thanks for bringing up the buying of a house. I guess we should have considered it earlier but up until lately I thought that we might have the opportunity to do it together.
Bye for this time. Remember Barbara, I love you very much and want your happiness above all else. Take care of yourself and tell all I send my love,
With his marriage crumbling, Dad was confronted with a news report that left him angry and feeling even more powerless than usual.
4 May 1961
Dear Mom & Dad,
I was quite shocked when I read the news clipping you sent in your number 9 letter, (which you forgot to number), written on April 10th.
You seemed worry that it was true even though in the article you said you didn’t believe it. Well you can set your mind at rest on that account. I do not intend to stay in the Soviet Union when I am released. I have never said to anyone that I intended to do so. I am a citizen of the United States and am proud to be one. I might not like all the policies of the US government but I feel sure there are many millions of people in the States who disagree with them also.