“Not in the mood to what?”
“Sorry, I thought you were—never mind. What’s up?”
“I wanted to check on you. I was in the hall when Alex went storming out and then Chase came out. Is everything okay?”
“Come in.” I didn’t really want to talk, but I needed some girl time. I’d had enough of the guys for one day.
Leticia came in and went right to my bed, plopping down like she was in her own room.
“Make yourself comfortable.”
“Thanks.” She’d totally missed my sarcasm. “So, I was wondering what you know about the others coming tomorrow. Are any of the guys our age? Are they cute? We need some cute guys around here who aren’t totally obsessed with you.”
“Excuse me?”
“Come on.” Leticia picked up my pillow and hugged it to her chest. “You’ve got Alex, who is majorly hot, and then Chase shows up and he wants you too.”
I wasn’t exactly sure I had Alex anymore. After finding out he’d been keeping this huge secret from me, whether he’d had good intentions or not, I wasn’t sure I could trust him. “It’s a little more complicated than that.”
“Yeah, well I wish my life was complicated by two guys fighting over me.” She put the pillow down and started picking at a loose thread on my bedspread.
“No, you don’t. Trust me. When two guys are fighting over you, you don’t have either of them. They spend all their time competing with each other, and you’re left out in the cold.”
Leticia shrugged. “I don’t know. I’d take just one guy looking at me the way either Alex or Chase looks at you. I mean, Alex is totally in love with you. That’s obvious. And Chase couldn’t be more attracted to you. The guy looks like he wants to devour you.”
I knew Chase’s stare all too well. It made me feel drawn to him, and completely scared at the same time. “You think that’s a good thing?”
“Yeah. Have you seen any guy look at me that way?”
“What about Randy? I always kind of thought you two were—”
“God, no! He’s like a brother, or cousin even. Definitely not the dating type. Besides, he doesn’t seem all that interested in girls.”
I sat down on the bed. “You mean he likes guys?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. He doesn’t show any interest in anyone. He just wants to train and learn about being Ophi. When we both first got here, he talked to me all the time, but now, not so much. He probably thinks I’m a hopeless case. I can’t seem to get control of my powers.”
“You’re not the only one.” I tucked my leg up under me.
“Yeah, but your powers are awesome. Right from the start you could do stuff I still can’t do. I’m starting to wonder if I’m even really Ophi. I mean, I should be able to control the souls I raise by now. Maybe Randy’s right. Maybe I am hopeless.”
“No, you’re not, and you don’t know if he even thinks that.” I wasn’t sure how to tell her what I thought was really going on. I didn’t want to bring up memories she might not be able to handle, but it was obvious her lack of control over her own blood was killing her. “Listen, Leticia, our powers are tied to our emotions.”
“Yeah, I know. I take notes during Tony’s lectures.”
I nodded. Leticia was the perfect student when she was in a classroom. She had the theory part of being an Ophi down pat. But out in the cemetery, she couldn’t figure out how to put all that knowledge to use.
“Think back to before Victoria raised the Ophi in Washington.”
Her body instantly tensed, like I knew it would. I didn’t back off. She needed to understand what was going on with her. I wasn’t going to keep this from her the way Alex had kept the truth about where we were from me.
“You changed after Victoria brought your parents back. You’re not the same person anymore. That’s understandable, but it’s also what’s holding you back.”
“You think I fell apart at the sight of my mangled parents.” Her voice couldn’t have been more shaky.
“I think you acted the way anyone would have in your situation.”
“Oh, really?” She stood up. “Victoria brought Randy’s father back. He was worse than my parents, and Randy’s fine. A little angrier than he used to be, but his powers still work. And you. You saw your dead father for the first time ever. And—”
“My powers are messed up royally.” I stood up so we were facing each other again. “I know how you feel, Leticia. I’m going through the same thing.” Actually I was going through worse, but that wasn’t going to get me anywhere with Leticia. “My powers are screwing up big time, and in ways that could hurt all of us. I’d rather not be able to use my powers than do what I’m doing.”
“That’s not true.”
“No?” My voice was getting loud. I was starting to lose it. “I killed a man today. A human. He was trying to help me, and I killed him. And what’s worse is, I couldn’t even bring him back because the car I’d just stolen from my human former best friend burst into flames and took his body with it.”
“Jodi.” Leticia was staring at my hands. They were shaking in response to my blood, which was bubbling so much you could see it through my skin.
I shook my arms out and took several deep breaths. I couldn’t do this again. I couldn’t let my emotions cause someone else to get hurt, or raise another soul.
“I’m sorry. I had no idea.” Leticia put her hand on my shoulder. “Can you stop it?” She was looking at my hands again.
“I’m trying. I’m really trying.”
“Think good thoughts.”
Good thoughts? I didn’t even know what they were anymore. Nothing in my life was going right.
“I’m going to get Arianna,” Leticia said. “She’s good at calming people down. I’ll be right back. Just try to make it stop, okay?”
I nodded, continuing to breathe deeply. Leticia ran from the room. There was only one way I knew how to calm down. A hot shower. Yes, I’d already taken one, but I didn’t care. I went right to the bathroom and got in the shower, fully clothed. No time to undress. I could’ve raised half the graveyard by then. I let the water wash over me, and I felt my blood simmer and then return to normal.
“Jodi?” Arianna called from my room.
“In here.” I poked my head out from behind the curtain.
“Leticia said you need some help.”
“I’m okay now.” I turned the water off and opened the curtain.
Arianna stared at me, soaking wet in my tank top and yoga pants. “Are you sure?”
“I know it looks strange, but really I’m fine. I promise. I’m going to put on dry clothes and go to sleep.”
“Would you like some hot tea before bed? I boiled a pot of water. You could join me.”
“Thanks, but no. I want to go to bed.”
“Alex told me what happened.”
I wrapped a towel around me before my wet clothes made me freeze. “Did you know? Did you know I was so close to my home? To my mom?”
She shook her head. “I didn’t know where you were from. I knew we were close to Serpentarius, of course, but not that that meant anything to you in particular.”
I believed her. Arianna was trustworthy.
“Don’t be too hard on him. Alex did what he thought was best for you.”
“It’s not up to him to decide what’s best for me.”
“I know that, but put yourself in his shoes. What would you have done if the situation were reversed?”
“I would’ve told him.”
“Are you sure? Or are you letting your emotions control you?”
My emotions. I wished I could turn them off completely. They were ruining everything. “He didn’t think I could handle it. He thought I’d go back to my old life.”
“Didn’t you?” She stepped closer. “When you found out where you were, what did you do?”