I dropped my bike in the side yard and went in through the kitchen door. Saw a meal on the table. Two plates, both empty. A bottle of wine, also empty.
I walked through the kitchen to the living room and stared at the familiar jacket draped across the couch. A tweed jacket, with leather patches at the elbows.
A copy of my essay was on the coffee table.
Someone laughed upstairs. Then came the all-too-familiar sounds of sex.
If I’d had a gun, I might have shot them both. Right then, at that moment, I would have done it. I could see my hand with a pistol aimed at my mother, aimed at the traitor, pulling the trigger over and over and killing them.
But the murderous rage passed as quickly as it crept over me, and I broke.
Broken and free.
I went upstairs, passed her room, and quietly entered mine. I packed a backpack with everything I could carry, and stuffed in a small, framed picture of Rachel, Grams, Grandpa, and me. My family, my only family, and they were all dead.
I took all the money out of my mother’s purse-a hundred dollars-and her ATM card because I knew her code. I went into Mr. Doherty’s jacket and found his wallet-he had only forty-nine dollars. I took it, too. I packed cheese, crackers, granola bars, and water to get me through a couple of days. Then I went to the garage, got a sleeping bag from the rafters, and tied it to the back of my bike.
Then I left. It was three days before Mom canceled her ATM card, and by that time I had fifteen hundred dollars.
I never would have gone home, except the cops arrested me six months later.
And this time I was unlucky enough to be sent to live with my dad.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
FBI Academy
This was supposed to be Class 12–14’s first weekend with forty-eight hours of freedom-they could leave, visit home, go away for R amp; R, or hang around campus without obligations. But because of the extra weapons training their forty-eight hours of freedom had been nearly halved.
For two hours Saturday morning, Lucy’s group learned more than most wanted to know about firearms. Even those who enjoyed the history of weapons left the classroom sleepy and frustrated.
“That was an effective punishment,” Carter Nix groaned.
They’d been granted a forty-five-minute early lunch break, then would be required to fieldstrip and reassemble the FBI standard-issue Glock. Everyone would be required to perform the task in less than two minutes. For former military, two minutes was a joke; for most of the class, two minutes made them sweat.
Eddie said to the group, “Want to bet who’ll win?”
“It’s not a competition,” Margo said.
“It’s more fun if it is.”
“Gordon Ellis wins, hands down,” Carter said. “He was an Army sniper, he hasn’t scored less than perfect on the range, and he’s the only one who wasn’t half-asleep this morning.”
They went through the line in the cafeteria. Gordon was behind them and said, “I was a Ranger. I learned to sleep with my eyes open.”
They laughed and Carter invited Gordon to sit with them. Lucy said, “Maybe you can help Sanchez with her shooting. I offered, but she turned me down.”
“Ditto here,” Gordon said. They glanced over to where Alexis Sanchez sat alone.
“What else can we do?” Reva asked. “We’ve all invited her to hang out, and she dismisses us.”
“What do we know about her?” Eddie asked. “She doesn’t talk to anyone.”
“She does fine in class,” Lucy said.
“How do you know?” Reva said. “She never talks.”
Oz picked up his tray. “If Mohammed doesn’t go to the mountain-” He looked around at the group.
Lucy stood up with her tray. “If we all go over, we’ll overwhelm her. I think she has social anxiety, and the crowd will make her more nervous.”
“Good luck,” Reva said without confidence.
Oz led the way to where Alexis sat alone. She looked up at him and Lucy, and Lucy wondered if it was anger or fear that crossed her face. “Mind if we sit?” Oz sat before Alexis could answer. He downed his milk.
“We wanted you to know you’re always welcome to eat with us,” Lucy said.
“Thanks,” Alexis said quietly, focused on her food.
Oz said, “Gordon, our resident gun expert, said he can train anyone to shoot.”
“And I need it?” she said defensively.
“Yes,” Lucy said, “and you know it. Why won’t you take the offer?”
“I’m not like everyone else. I never touched a gun before I came here.”
“But you knew you’d have to, right?”
“I didn’t think about it,” she admitted. “I don’t fit in.”
“Obviously the FBI recruiters thought you did, otherwise you wouldn’t have made it this far,” Oz said.
Alexis didn’t meet their eyes. “I appreciate the effort, but it’s not a good time for me.”
“Did something happen?” Lucy asked. When Alexis didn’t say anything, Lucy added, “Something at home? You’re married, right?”
Her eyes watered. “How’d you know?”
“Good guess.” It made sense. If there were stresses at home, maybe Alexis’s way of dealing with it was to shut down.
“I missed my daughter’s fourth birthday last week. And I started wondering why I’m here. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but now?”
“You’ll get through this,” Lucy said. “We want to help.”
Now that Alexis had opened up, she let it all pour out. “There’s only four other new agents who have kids, and all are guys,” Alexis said. “It’s different being a mother. My husband wanted me to wait until Missy was in school, but I’m thirty-two. The physical training is hard enough now.”
“Where do you live?” Oz asked.
“Colorado. Not easy to go home for the weekend. I have a ticket in October, but I can’t stop thinking about Missy and Carl. And Carl has a full-time job, so Missy is spending more time with his mom, which is just great because she hates me enough already. What if my daughter hates me when I return?”
“She won’t,” Oz said.
“Do you have Skype?” Lucy asked.
She shook her head. “I’ve heard of it.”
“Right after we’re done today, if you want, I can download it to your computer and show you how to use it. Maybe if you see Missy instead of just talking to her it’ll make separation easier. I can walk your husband through it as well.”
“He’s much more technically savvy than I am.” Alexis smiled for the first time that Lucy had known her. “Thank you. I’m sorry I’ve been such a pill.”
Lucy laughed. “It’s been an adjustment for everyone. You know, Carter Nix has two girls and it’s hard on him as well. You’re not alone.” Oz said, “Now, will you please take Gordon up on his offer to work with you? I promise, you won’t regret it.”
The last two hours of weapons training were almost as difficult as the first two, but in the end Agent Kosako said, “Good work.” Praise was sparse at Quantico, and it meant something coming from him.
Lucy walked with Alexis to her room and set up Skype on her computer. She wasn’t certain it was the solution to the problem, but at least she felt that she’d done something to help the new agent get through these difficult months.
“You ready to see your daughter?” Lucy asked.
“Do it,” Alexis said. “Wait-give me a minute.”
“You call when you’re ready. Just click here, then here. The computer on the other end will show that there’s an incoming Skype call.”
“Thank you-I really mean it. Thank you.”
She was glad she’d taken the time to help Alexis. No one wanted anyone in their class to be booted, and Lucy hoped this temporary solution would help Alexis and her family.
Lucy packed her overnight bag and called Sean, letting him know she was free until 6:00 p.m. on Sunday. He was already on his way. She needed the night off, to get away and clear her head.