I guess, since they hate having me around too, even though I’m the only one bringing a smile to her face every once in a while. The way they look at me makes me lean back every time I’m at their door. They look like they see a ghost. That, or I smell rotten. I don’t know which one it is.
We’re sitting in the grass at the place I like to sit and listen to the wind. It’s so peaceful here … it makes me calm inside, and there're not a lot of things that can do that to me. This is sort of my secret spot, my hideout, the place I bury my memories and secrets so no one will ever find them.
She’s reading her book while I’m enjoying the sun. I don’t do homework because it’s not my thing. I don’t understand most of it, and I just don’t have the concentration for it. I admire her for it. I wish I could sit down and stare at a book for hours on end.
“You should really read this book, you know,” she says.
“Why?”
“Because we have a test about this chapter tomorrow.”
“Hmm …”
“Don’t you care?” she asks, looking up from her book.
I gaze at her with a sneaky smile. “No. Why should I?”
“Well …” She closes her book. “Don’t your parents get mad or something?”
“They’re not my parents.” I look the other way.
“I don’t understand.”
When I look at her, she’s frowning. “I don’t have parents. Or at least, I don’t know who they are.”
“Then where do you live?” she asks.
“With my foster parents.”
“Then they are your parents,” she says.
I shake my head. “That’s not the same …”
She doesn’t know they don’t really like me. Not in the way that they would if I were their real son. They tolerate me, but that’s it. I’m still a fighter, still an unwanted brat, no matter how nicely you wrap the words.
“Yeah, it is. They take care of you. You live in their house. They’re your parents.” She shrugs. “There’s no difference.”
I chuckle a little. “You make it sound so easy.”
“It’s easier if you don’t think about it too much,” she muses.
“But is it worth it?” I ask.
She mulls about it for a second. “Maybe …”
I wrap my hands together behind my head and take a deep breath. “Figured you’d say that.”
“What? Why?”
I laugh. “You’re so predictable.”
“I am not.” She slaps me with her book, which hits quite hard, but it only makes me laugh harder.
“You are, but it’s good.” I snatch the book from her hand before she does any real damage with it. “I like it.”
A flush appears on her cheeks, and the moment that I realize what I’ve said, I shut my mouth, turning the other cheek. Embarrassing shit.
Suddenly, her fingers touch mine, and I flinch but relax when I notice she’s weaving hers through mine.
“I like you, too,” she says with a cute smile.
And right at that moment, it feels like my history means nothing compared to the time I still get to spend with her.
***
Present
Just thinking about the past makes me crack my knuckles, wishing I could erase it from my memory. Oh, I’ll get to spend all the time in the world with her now. Just not in the way I envisioned it. I’m no longer naïve, and Vanessa is no longer the sweet girl I used to know.
Time has changed us. It’s not been kind to us, and neither will I be kind to her. Not anymore. She wasted that chance, and now I’m going to lay waste to her.
CHAPTER 9
VANESSA
Back and forth. Left and right. He keeps circling my cage, gazing at me with those bloodthirsty eyes every other second, only to return to pacing around the attic. I wonder what he’s thinking. Is he envisioning ways to torture me? Is he trying to decide what method best to use to hurt me? Or can he simply not decide?
The thought alone creates goosebumps all over my body. I don’t want to think about the things he’s going to do to me, but with him barging into the room, I have nothing else to wonder about. His presence alone is enough to make me tremble in fear. It disgusts me. I’m not normally like this, so … weak and mumbling when I speak. I hate it; I hate to see myself behave this way, and yet, I can’t stop it. It’s as if the terror has settled in my bones.
I’ve never experienced anything like this. At least … not since the last time we were alone together.
It must be him, but I don’t understand why my body reacts to him the way it does. He’s the only man who’s ever been able to make me shiver to the point of wanting to grab a gun to shoot him. A man never threatens me. Hell, they’re mostly scared of me instead of the other way around. Must be the air of aloofness shrouding me. That or my inability to care for their emotions even the slightest bit.
Except his … Phoenix … the way he looks at me, briefly stopping to bite on his lip piercing, does something to me. The way he runs his fingers through his dark hair to keep his focus is entrancing. My heart beats out of control at the sight of his steady paces, his hawk-like eyes, and the black depth hidden within them. I want it all. And I want to kill him for doing this to me.
It’s like I’m left in the hands of a merciless animal that will rip me to shreds if I don’t manage to seduce it into letting me go. Speaking of which, I think that is the only shot I have of getting out of this prison.
However, I know he won’t fall for it that easily. He knows me too well for that. I just have to try even harder than before. Working my charms on him is the only solution I have to this problem. What else can I do when I’m bound to this cage and left to his mercy?
Nothing, except persuade him not to hurt me … maybe in time, when he trusts me enough, he’ll even let me out.
As he slams open the door, I shoot up and bump my head on the cage. He’s gotten my rifle from downstairs. I wonder what he’s going to do with it. With a wicked smile and a raised eyebrow, he looks at me while placing the rifle on the table near the door, and then fetches a gun from his bag.
“Big isn’t always better. Except when fucking, of course,” he says, grinning.
Seeing that makes me shiver, as I know all the tools he brought with him are meant for me. If I’m nice, maybe he’ll go easier on me. It’s worth a try. I don’t intend on dying just yet, but I don’t want to be stuck in this cage forever, either.
He walks toward me and loads the gun, readying it for fire. I guess he won’t go easy on me, no matter what I do.
With a threatening stance, he holds out the gun, aiming for my head.
I cover my head with my hands and shout, “Please, don’t shoot!”
“No?”
“No! Don’t! Please?”
“Or what?”
“I don’t want to die!” I yell, tears welling up in my eyes.
I can’t see him, but I can hear him muffle a laugh. “I could swear you begged me for this a while ago.”
“Please …” I mutter. I don’t know what else to say. I don’t want to die. That’s human. But I don’t want to suffer, either. What kind of choice is that?
“So, I guess you pick the pain instead then,” he muses, tucking the gun into his waistband.
“No,” I say, sniffing as I lower my hands.
I want to smack the smirk off his face, if I could only reach him. I hate this damn cage.
“You can’t have it both ways, Princess.”
“As if I would ever want any of them,” I say, sighing.
“You don’t, but what you want doesn’t matter here.” He starts playing with his knife. “You see, this is all for me. I admit it. I’m a selfish bastard. I want to see you hurt so badly …” He pushes the tip of the knife so far into his own thumb that a drop of blood oozes out. “I can’t stop thinking about all the ways I’m going to make you cry.”
“You want my tears?” I ask because I’m not far away from bursting into tears. “Because you can have them.”
He stops playing with the knife. Instead, he inches closer to my cage and waves the blade at me. “Be careful, Princess. Don’t tempt me. You know how much I love to see you water from your eyes.”
“Too late.” I point at my eye. “See that? That’s your doing. Happy now?”