“I told you that you wouldn’t get away with this.”
“They’ll fucking take you in too after they find out what you’ve really done,” I spit.
She shakes her head. “I had to. It was the only way I knew I’d be safe from you once you’d awakened and noticed I was gone.”
“Except you didn’t count on that collar to have a wire, didn’t you?” I shake her. “They can’t protect you from me. I can kill you within three seconds, and I have plenty of fucking time before they get here.”
“And then what? They know the address. They’ll come here and kill you, too.”
“I don’t give a fuck!” I shout. “Let them kill me. I don’t care anymore. I’d rather die knowing that you’re still mine than give you up. All I ever cared about is you and it ruined me!”
She’s quiet for a second.
“Now tell me the truth, goddammit. Tell me that you’re as much of a killer as I am.” I wrap my hands around her throat again. Her eyes shoot up to my face as she still tries to slap me and crawl out underneath me, still fighting for her life. “I fucking know what you’ve done, but I want you to say it to my face,” I growl. “Say it!”
“All right,” she coughs between gasps. Her muscles relax as she lets go, no longer clinging to her freedom. She gives up fighting me.
I squeeze one more time then stop, letting her breathe. A tear rolls down her cheek. “Fine. You want me to say it out loud?” she spits, her face darkening like I’ve never witnessed before. “You already know. You’ve always known. But I didn’t … I didn’t know you were the one who would come.”
“But you asked for it,” I hiss.
“Yes. I did it. I paid to have my husband murdered.”
CHAPTER 29
VANESSA
It’s true; I wanted my husband dead.
It was my plan all along to have him killed.
Planning was meticulous. I had to search for a means to make it as inconspicuous as possible, as to ensure my own safety. I didn’t want to go to jail, even though I was going to commit a heinous crime.
So I searched … and then one day stumbled upon a forum where they discussed these things. An anonymous source gave me the number to an organization who would take care of everything for me. Just one payment was all it took to get the deal done.
Phillip was going to die.
My trophy-wife life would end, and I would get my freedom back.
Not to mention it was adequate payback for him treating me like a vile person. All these years of neglecting my heart … abusing my body … it leaves bigger marks than one can see with the naked eye.
My bruises were on my soul, and they weren’t easily scratched off.
The moment I pressed the send button, I knew his fate was sealed.
I just didn’t know it would involve mine.
Neither did I know that Phoenix would be the one to claim his life.
“Yes, I had him put on a hit list,” I hiss to him.
“You hired us,” he growls.
“No, I hired a company to get rid of my traitorous, abusing, evil husband. And then they sent you.”
“Don’t tell me you didn’t fucking know that I worked for them.”
“I didn’t. I didn’t know what you were up to all these years, and when I saw you at that party my husband and I attended, I couldn’t believe my eyes.”
“Bullshit,” he growls.
“It’s the truth. You wanted it. Now you have it.”
“I came for your husband that night, as instructed, and instead, I found you. Imagine my surprise that it was your husband I was meant to kill.”
I make a face. “I couldn’t believe they sent you, out of all people … you worked for them.”
“Yes, and you wanted your husband dead. After his death, I found out that the call came from you.”
I gasp. “What? You knew the request came from me? And you never told me?”
I smack him on the chest, but he grasps my wrists and pins them to my chest. “You wanted him killed,” he says.
“Yes, I wanted him dead. Yes, I hated his guts. Can you imagine, after being forced to marry him?”
“I can imagine, but what I can’t imagine is you pinning the fucking blame on me.” When I try to push him off me, he shoves me to the ground, banging my head. “You fucking betrayed me!”
“I did what I had to do to survive!” I say, wincing. “Like you’re any different. You had me poison him. You wanted me to go down for this.”
“Yes, well, you have yourself to thank for that. You destroyed my heart that day after prom, and years later, I find you married to the same fucking dude? I mean, it isn’t so hard to imagine my disgust, is it?” he hisses close to my ear. “I wanted you to pay for your own mistakes. You wanted him dead so you should carry the burden.”
“But you made it all happen,” I say. “You were the killer. The hired hitman. I was never supposed to go to jail for it.”
“No. I did. I was the one who was sent to prison, Vanessa. I went to jail because of something you wanted!” He slaps my face. “That is what you deserve.”
“You’re no better than me,” I say.
“I never said that, but are you really that surprised that I came to hate you for it?” he says, cocking his head.
“No,” I say.
“That I came to get your ass and fuck you up?”
“No.” I sniff, turning my head. “I know I had it coming.”
“Yes and still you tried to lie and cheat your way out of it.”
“Just like you,” I say, looking him straight in the eyes again. “Don’t pretend you know better.”
“I don’t. I’m not any better, but that still doesn’t make it all right.”
“What do you want me to say?” I sneer. “Sorry that I lost my soul along the way?”
He laughs. “That’s not an apology.”
“Well, it’s the truth. At least I’m telling you what I’m thinking.”
“At least I’m not a fucking liar,” he repeats.
“No, you’re a bastard who would rather see the love of his life go to jail than free her from her malicious husband.”
He slams the floor beside me. “You are not the love of my life.”
I grind my teeth. “I don’t believe you.”
“How could I ever fucking love a girl like you?”
The way he says it, with such hatred and darkness in his voice, makes me want to cry.
“I say the same thing to myself when I look at you.”
For a moment, we just gaze at each other, not saying a word. I wouldn’t even know what to say. All that needed to be said is out in the world now. Yes, I am a merciless killer. Yes, I had arranged my own husband’s death. Of course, I didn’t want to go down for it. But I didn’t think Miles … Phoenix would be involved. Not like this. If I’d known, if I could anticipate, I would’ve made a different choice.
But it’s too late for regret now.
His muscles relax and he lowers his body on top of me, stopping with holding me down. He just rests on top of me, breathing out heavily from our fight, and so do I. I just lie here, staring at the ceiling, wondering what in the hell we’re doing.
“What have we become?” I murmur.
“Murderers,” he says.
“Killers,” I say. “We aren’t worth a damn thing in this world.”
“I can’t forgive you for what you did.”
“And I can’t forgive you,” I say.
“But you know what’s worse?” he says, leaning up. “The fact that my heart really does want to.”
“What?” I frown. I don’t understand. I thought he hated me. He was choking the life out of me.
“I hate you so much for everything you’ve done. For ruining my life. For taking away everything I wanted. And still, my heart tells me to forgive you and move on.” He laughs. “Because no matter how much I try … I can’t stop loving you.”
I take a deep breath but can’t seem to let it go. I feel paralyzed by what he just said. There is only one thing in my body that still feels alive, and it’s my heart, pulsing for him.
“Fuck …” he whispers. “Do I look like a fucking guy who can love? I mean, honestly, look at me.”