“I am,” I say.
This shuts him up completely for a few seconds.
“We’re fucking wasted on destruction,” I say.
“That we are …” He muffles a laugh.
“This isn’t funny, you know.”
“Oh, I know.”
“You just tried to kill me,” I say.
He tilts his head. “And you just tried to kill me.”
When I try to push him off me, he grabs my wrists again and slams them above my head. “We’re both dirty fucking killers, Vanessa,” he says.
“Let me go,” I say.
“Or what? You’re going to run? You’re going to kill me? I doubt it.”
“You don’t know that,” I say, biting my lip.
“I do because you’re still not telling the truth. At least, not to yourself.”
“What are you talking about?” I say as he crawls on top of me again.
“I’m talking about the fact that you, after everything I’ve done to you, still think of me as someone you could be with.”
I swallow away the lump in my throat. “No.” I shake my head. “Impossible. We’re two different people.”
“Two different people united by the same lust for vengeance. Hate. Murderous tendencies.” He leans in closer. “I know you’re lying, Princess. I can smell it.” He sucks in a breath with his nose.
I shiver underneath him, feeling the sparks alight. “I’m not … I can’t. This just can’t.”
“It can because you want it to. Because I want it to. Stop saying and thinking things that aren’t true. You know as well as I do that it’s unavoidable.”
His eyes are half-mast, sultry, almost seductive, and I can’t help but want to lean in for a kiss.
It’s disturbing, I know. After just wanting to kill him, and him wanting to choke me, I still desire him. Our connection feels stronger than ever now that I’ve spoken the truth, and it’s hard to ignore the growing tension between us. It’s the flipside of deep-seated hatred … love bursting underneath the surface, ready to pop out and grow.
But is it really the right thing?
I press my lips together, and he brings his hand to my face. I expect another slap, and close my eyes, but instead, he surprises me by caressing my cheek. When I open my eyes, he’s smiling.
“I’ll forgive you, if you’ll forgive me,” he whispers.
I blink a couple of times. “How? After all of this?”
“Just say the words,” he muses. “Forgive and forget.”
“I …” I take a deep breath as a single tear runs down my cheek. He catches it with his finger and puts it in his mouth, sucking hard.
“Hmm … Nothing like some tears in the morning.”
I shake my head, chuckling to myself. “You’re one sick bastard.”
“One sick bastard you’re in love with.”
This comment makes me want to look away, but I don’t. I’ve looked away enough. All this time, I’ve turned my head, twisted my own heart, and denied the very truth in order to live a good life. However, this was anything but a good life, thanks to my mother. And I can’t help but wonder how it would’ve been if I’d run off with Miles.
I reach for his face and cup his scruffy jaw, and he leans in to let me feel him. His black hair falls across his face so messily, so crude … just the way I like it.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
He smiles a little, looking down at me.
“I’m really sorry,” I repeat, tears welling up in my eyes.
But then he stops my tears with a kiss so deep it takes my breath away.
His mouth latches onto mine with ferocity, almost wanting to suck the love out of me. I know he can feel it, and I can taste it from his licks. No matter how much we try to hide it, we still crave each other. Need each other.
I wrap my hands around his head, wanting him closer than ever before. No restraints to hold me back, no prison to keep me locked. I am here and I want to be here, with him, by my own choice.
Love pours from my veins as I grasp onto his hair and kiss him deeply, allowing his tongue access. One hand cups my face as the other grabs my waist, squeezing lightly, setting my body on fire.
I want it all, I want it so badly, and I can’t deny it anymore. I’ve stopped fighting, stopped battling the bad. I’ll embrace the darkness in my heart, just like he has, because dammit, I deserve it and so does he.
We deserve each other.
“I love you,” he says. “I really do. No matter how much I want to hate you; no matter how much I despise what you’ve done, I can’t stop,” he murmurs against my red, hot lips.
“I know,” I say, licking my lips. “I have the same problem.”
Sirens are audible throughout the house, which makes me think the cops are closing in on us, although I’m not quite sure we still need them. I guess it’s too late for regret now. It’s all my fault.
He laughs. “So, little liar, are you going to come back on your statement?”
“About what?” I lean back on my elbows.
He squints. “You do fucking love me. You can deny it all you want, but I can see that look in your eyes when you see me, you know … all needy and sparkly.”
I roll my eyes, but secretly I’m smiling. “Fine. I submit. You got me.”
He muffles another laugh and then moves in closer again, hovering just above my lips. “I like it when you say that … submitting?” he hisses, biting his lip. “Yeah, I could get used to that.”
“Oh, stop,” I muse. “You’re so freaking filthy.”
“That’s why you love me,” he murmurs, his tongue darting out to tease me, licking my lip but not allowing me to kiss him. “Admit it,” he says. “Say it, Princess. I want to hear you say it.”
“I love you,” I say.
“Say it again,” he growls, arching over me.
“I do love you. I wasn’t lying.”
“No, you were lying when you said it wasn’t true.”
I shrug. “Sometimes a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do to survive.”
“You think you have to run to survive?” He grabs my chin. “I’m not gonna kill you unless you ask for it. So it’s pretty safe to say you’ll survive around me. Besides, if you haven’t noticed, I can get rather protective when it comes to things that belong to me.”
I flush from the thought of belonging to him. I’d like that. For once, I should listen to my heart instead of my brain. Throw the rules out of the window. Kick fortune in its back and run away into the wilderness.
Maybe I’d like that.
“So … the cops are here now,” he says.
“Yeah … I’m sorry. I guess this means the end.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” he says, raising an eyebrow.
I admire his optimism, even though it’s a little misplaced.
Phoenix presses a short kiss on my lips, but then he curls his hands underneath my waist and lifts me up from the ground like a knight.
But then, out of nowhere, a loud bang causes him to groan and drop to the ground. I fall to the floor with him and look up in shock at the man standing in the hallway.
“Sorry to interrupt your little rendezvous, but this has gone on long enough.”
It’s Arthur with a gun.
And he’s aiming it at Phoenix.
CHAPTER 30
PHOENIX
The sharp pain stabbing me in the back makes me fall over, my muscles failing on me. I turn around to witness Arthur, the man I thought would’ve bled out by now, standing in the doorway with a gun aimed right at my face.
“Phoenix!” Vanessa cries, turning me over as I cough up blood.
Goddammit, I think he shot me in the lungs.
“Aww, is your boyfriend hurt?” Arthur muses.
“Arthur?” Vanessa looks up at him. “You’re alive.”
“Of course, I’m alive. How else would I be standing here?” He laughs mockingly. “You, on the other hand, shouldn’t be.”
“How are you still alive?” I say with a croaky voice.
“How? Well, after your failed attempt to kill me, I managed to get to a hospital. Had to drag myself all the way to the gate on the other side of the property just to get out. Damn, that wasn’t pretty,” he muses, frowning.
“Gate?” I murmur.
“Oh, you didn’t know there was another entry? Tsk. You should’ve done more research,” Arthur muses. “How else did you think I came in here?”