The chatter was intentional, meant to distract Sabra and relieve her bashfulness. When she was finished ripping out the seams, Tiel peeled down one side of her bodice. "Now lower your bra strap and pull down the cup.
Here, let me hold Katherine." Sabra looked around self-consciously "No one can see," Tiel assured her.
"I know. But it feels weird."
"I'm sure it does."
When Sabra was ready, Tiel handed Katherine back to her. The newborn had been making soft, mewling noises, but the moment she felt the fullness of Sabra's breast against her cheek, her mouth began rooting for the nipple.
She found it, tried to latch on, couldn't. After several attempts, the baby began to wail. She flailed tiny fists, and her face turned red.
"Everything okay?" Doc called.
"Fine," Tiel lied.
Sabra sobbed in frustration. "I'm not doing it right.
What am I doing wrong?"
"Nothing, sweetheart, nothing," Tiel said soothingly.
"Katherine doesn't know how to be a baby any more than you know how to be a mom. You learn your roles together.
That's what makes it so wonderful. But I've heard that a baby can sense the mother's frustration. The more relaxed you are, the easier it will be. Take a few deep breaths, then try again."
A second attempt was no more successful that the first.
"Know what? I think it's your position," Tiel observed. "It's awkward for you and for her. Maybe if you could sit up."
"I can't. My bottom hurts too bad."
"What if Doc supported your back? It would relieve the pressure down there and enable you to cradle Katherine more comfortably."
"He'll see me," she protested in a tearful whisper.
"I'll fix it so he won't. Wait here. I'll be right back."
Earlier she had noticed a rack stocked with souvenir T-shirts.
Before Ronnie could even ask what she was doing, she dashed to it and snatched one from the display. It was dusty, she noticed, but there was no help for that. Just as she was about to turn away, she yanked a second shirt from the rack.
By the time she returned with the T-shirts, Katherine was well into a wailing fit. Everyone else in the store was maintaining a respectful silence. Tiel spread one of the extra-large T-shirts over mother and baby. "There. He won't be able to see a thing. All right?"
"All right."
"Doc?"
He was there in a blink. "Yeah?"
"Could you please get behind Sabra and support her back, like I did during the birth?"
"Sure."
He knelt down behind the girl and helped ease her into a semi-sitting position. "Now, just lean back against my chest. Come on, relax, Sabra. There. Comfortable?"
"Yes, I'm okay. Thanks."
Tiel raised a corner of the T-shirt just enough to peer beneath it. Katherine had stopped crying and was once again on her instinctive search. "Help her, Sabra," Tiel instructed softly. Sabra acted on instinct too. With only a little maneuvering and finessing, a tight suction was formed between breast and baby, and she began to suck vigorously.
Sabra laughed with delight. As did Tiel. She dropped the corner of the shirt and smiled at Doc.
"I assume everything is okay."
"They're pros." Tiel's bragging brought a wide smile to Sabra's chalky lips. Tiel asked, "Had you decided ahead of time to breast-feed?"
"Truthfully, I hadn't really thought about it. I was so preoccupied with worry that somebody was going to find out about the pregnancy, I didn't have much time to think about anything else."
"You can try it, then if it doesn't work out, you can switch to bottles. There's no shame in bottle-feeding."
"But I hear that nursing is better for the baby."
"That's what I hear too."
"You don't have kids?"
"No."
"Are you married?"
It seemed that Sabra had forgotten Doc was there. Her back was to him, so to her he was like a piece of furniture.
Tiel, however, was facing him and keenly aware that he was listening to every word. "No. Single."
"Have you ever been?"
After a slight hesitation, she replied, "Years ago. For a short time."
"What happened?"
The grayish green eyes didn't waver. "We, uh, went different directions."
"Oh. Too bad."
"Yes, it was."
"How old were you?"
"Young."
"How old are you now?"
Tiel laughed nervously. "Older. Thirty-three last month."
"You'd better hurry up and find someone else. If you want to have a family, I mean."
"You sound like my mother."
"Do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Want to have another husband and kids?"
"Someday. Maybe. I've been awfully busy establishing my career."
"You could be a single mom."
"I've considered it, but I'm not sure I'd want that for my child. The jury's still out."
"I can't imagine not wanting a family," the girl said with a gentle smile for Katherine. "That's all Ronnie and I talk about. We want to have a big house out in the country.
With lots of kids. I'm an only child. He has one little stepbrother, and they're twelve years apart in age. We want a large family."
"That's an admirable ambition."
Unobtrusively, Doc signaled Tiel with his chin that it was time to switch sides. Tell assisted Sabra, and soon Katherine was happily sucking away at the other breast.
Then the girl surprised them by angling her head back and asking, "What about you, Doc?"
"What about me?"
"Are you married?"
"My wife died three years ago."
Sabra's face fell. "Oh, I'm so sorry."
"Thank you."
"How'd she die? If you don't mind me asking."
He told her about his wife's illness, making no mention of the conflict that followed her demise.
"Any kids?"
"Unfortunately no. We had just begun talking about starting our family when she got sick. Like Ms. McCoy, she had a career. She was a microbiologist."
"Wow, she must've been smart."
"Brilliant, in fact." He smiled, although Sabra couldn't see it. "Much smarter than me."
"You must've loved each other a whole lot."
His smile gradually faded. What Sabra couldn't guess, but Tiel knew, was that his marriage hadn't been flawless and trouble-free. During the investigation into the circumstances surrounding Shari Stanwick's death, it was disclosed that she had engaged in an extramarital affair.
Bradley Stanwick knew of his wife's unfaithfulness and generously assumed his share of the blame. His work schedule was demanding and often kept him out late and away from home.
But the two had loved each other and were committed to making the marriage work. They were in counseling and planning to stay together when her malignancy was diagnosed. Her illness had actually brought them closer together. At least that's what he had claimed to his accusers.
Tiel could see that, even after all this time, reminders of his wife's adultery still pained him.
When he became aware that Tiel was watching him, the wistfulness in his expression vanished. "That's enough for now," he said, speaking more brusquely than he probably intended.
"She's stopped sucking anyway," Sabra said. "I think she's gone to sleep."
While Sabra was readjusting her clothing, Tiel took the baby and changed her. Doc eased the girl back into her original position, then checked the diaper he'd placed beneath her. "Better. Thank God."
Tiel cuddled the baby close and planted a soft kiss on the top of her head before returning her to her mother's arms.